This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-07-07 10:47:45 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Winona, from the High Cliff

                              Father,                               Did you mention these dark brooding eyes?                               You had led him down to the beach                               Told him of my insatiable appetite,                               Regaled him with tales of my prowess,                               Trickled cream from this crystal down to                               Wash his feet with my black hair -                               There is so much to say, and so little time.                               You can leave out the part about my eyes.                               But without them, he will never know,                               He will never understand why I leapt                               And left our tribe standing above                               The broad waist west of the Mississippi,                               A father’s choice staring into his future -                               They could never see what it is I saw                               Through the morning mist, the day I                                Made a choice, the day I said, “No!”                               The dark morning I quietly said, “I do,”                               And stepped off the cloud,                               To join our great river in its drift                               Through this land of sky blue waters,                               Away from your land, into my ocean.

Copyright © July 2004 Thomas Edward Wright

This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2004-08-06 22:30:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Something in this reminds me of Gloster in King Lear. The images of eyes, beach, cliff-fall ... the hard choice being made. But the hair-washing of feet has another significance. This sacrifice is not only of this world, is it? It is a spiritual separation, from one culture to another. My daughter's middle name is Wenonah and her mother-in-law, ironically, is Winona. It's not a name heard often in any of its variants. It means first-born daughter, one who would be expected to feel loyalty to her people and their older ways. The eyes of the unnamed "he" and the eyes of the young woman are so different. This is splendid writing, as always. I'm not in a mental frame to critique well, but I did want you to know that the poem touches me. Brenda

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2004-07-31 20:12:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94118
t.: A brief review with no revision as I'm no t. or so they say. It has not been the same site without your wit but we are confident you will return to your family here. At 1st glance, I thought this was an ode to one of the Judds and then I remembered her name is WYnona, emphasis on 1st syllable. I believe this is fashioned on the tale of the native American girl whose father has chosen a husband for her when she is in love with someone else. It is romantic and tragic which you capture beautifully but I am not overly fond of this account of first American stupidity. I'm sure these were not Cherokees if they lived in the land of sky blue waters (Minnesota?). Of course, we Cherokees made a number of stupid mistakes...look at our trail of tears. Sorry, this is a sensitive spot for me. In the 1st stanza, the girl addresses her father, seemingly from the after-world. Your opening line re "dark brooding eyes" is lovely. In 2nd stanza, she realizes neither her father nor the warrior he chose for her will comprehend her actions but she must remain true to herself and to the hunter she loves. She says the marriage vow to him and steps off the cloud, "Away from your land, into my ocean." Exquisitely worded, t. I enjoyed this paean to the lovely girl and her lost love and the title is t.-like, very appealing. I am always curious about line lengths and why your stanzas are seven, six, eight lines in lieu of all the same pattern. Keep them coming, please. You do have a way with words. Best, Mell
This Poem was Critiqued By: Karen Ann Jacobs On Date: 2004-07-27 01:48:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
The dualities of this poem gave me some trouble. At first, I believed that she committed suicide to avoid an arranged marriage. Than I thought she just left home, chose to not marry the one her father picked for her, and lived out in the world she made her own. Finally, I realized that both is true. Even though, she lives she feels she is dead to them. This story poem is beautifully and lovingly written. Is it a Native American Legend? I tried doing a search with yahoo, but I didn’t come up with anything. Thank you for sharing this poem. Kay-Ren
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2004-07-21 03:24:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
TEW Insatiable appetite, and says "I do"? Where does one find women like this? Lord, make me a brave worthy of such a squaw. MAH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-07-17 15:32:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Tom: I love the rhythm of title - seven syllables with equal emphasis on each. This poem tells the story of a romantic tragedy - the story of Winona, or "We-No-Nah" who didn't want to marry her father's choice of a warrior, and chose to leap to her death rather than accept it. She seems to speak to Chief Wahpashaw from beyond death, as if time is fluid, as she asks him if he has told the warrior about her "dark brooding eyes" and then describes her father's actions in regaling the would-be mate with tales of her prowess. When she returns to the present tense, in L7, it is as if she is re-enacting the scene, standing on the bluff, ready to jump, with whispered words to her father as she leaps "away from your land, into my ocean." But not without first quietly vowing, "I do", presumably to her true love. They could never see what it is I saw Through the morning mist, the day I Made a choice, the day I said, “No!” This evokes the sense that she "saw" her true love, a simple hunter. Did he, too, choose to leave earthly life in the hope of meeting his love in "The Happy Hunting Ground"? I enjoyed this poem immensely; altho the story told is a sad one, it is romantic and thus highly appealing. My favorite lines are these --- You can leave out the part about my eyes. But without them, he will never know, He will never understand why I leapt We so often do not know the true reasons why anyone does anything, thus can "never understand" why some choose death over life. Well done. Bravo! My best to you, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-07-08 21:45:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
in the forest, the loneley forest a-winona, awinowa why oh why when There is so much to say, and so little time. in this land of sky blue waters and poetry that sings in the blueness The lion sleeps tonight thanks tom tom wonderful
This Poem was Critiqued By: Molly Johnson On Date: 2004-07-08 14:07:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
What a startling story with haunting voice and imagery. The image of trickling cream from the crystal to wash his feet with her hair is so evocative and lusterous, it's clearly my favorite moment in the poem. I think because crystal and cream are both refeninements of natural things. There are some tense issues that jerk the poem around. That might be a choice you made or it might be accidnetal, just think about what it might do if you shift the whole piece into future or past tense. Interesting read for sure. mollyJ
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