This Poem was Submitted By: Gene Dixon On Date: 2004-08-12 15:16:21 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Rock of Heaven

A welcome for Peter Mark Scheffer Unseen by ordinary eyes, you arrived with a splash like a rock in a river. Some stood in awe, some sighed and some trembled at the sight of God's mighty hand. You are as welcome as Spring; as warmly loved as Summer. You will be all the colors of Autumn; all the brilliance of Winter. Your world is covered by virgin snow. Your paths are marked by wildflowers  and blackberries.

Copyright © August 2004 Gene Dixon

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-09-05 14:55:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75758
A wonderful tribute to the new baby of Mark's. I just love the last stanza. Is there really anything more beautiful than virgin snow (which I can see across the water on the mountains), and the wildflowers which I've planted in the front yard. Very visual stuff. Thanks for the read.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-08-31 17:47:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Dear Gene, This child is lucky to have someone love him as much to dedicate a poem to him. Not knowing what relation he is to you doesn't take away from the endearing sentiments expressed in a poetic way. Imagery is good throughout the poem, "like a rock in a river" - splash into the world, brand new creation from God, a blessing that so many never fully realize in a lifetime. In expressing that feeling with the 4 seasons adds a nice touch. Your world is covered by virgin snow, another good line. An entire life, not yet lived, completely innocent and clean as virgin snow. The visual at the end is a nice ending, with picturing a young spirit moving through the scenery of wildflowers and blackberries. I'm thinking he's going to have a world of love to proctect and keep him safe. I enjoyed you poem. sincerely, DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-08-31 11:07:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi, Gene We have all missed you here and it is good to see your work again in this lovely tribute to Mark's new son. Unseen by ordinary eyes, you arrived with a splash like a rock in a river. Wonderful and appropriate metoaphor for this new Peter! Some stood in awe, some sighed and some trembled at the sight of God's mighty hand. yes, each new birth is a miracle of that magnitude You are as welcome as Spring; as warmly loved as Summer. You will be all the colors of Autumn; all the brilliance of Winter. May he flourish in this garden where certainly he is being cherished Your world is covered by virgin snow. a blank page for him to write upon - lovely Your paths are marked by wildflowers and blackberries. all that is fresh and alive and possible. Peter the Rock. May he be as a blessing to his family and may he bring them only joy. Peace Roni
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-08-27 13:23:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.17857
The ripples some people make really shake us up, The last two lines make me picture the wildfowers and blackberries peaking out of the snow, Thanks for letting me read your poem.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2004-08-17 15:52:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Gene: Happiness occurs to see a posted poem by you! It's at the bottom of my list so you likely have had multiple critiques. You are sorely missed at TPL... who else would teach Mellifluous the art of sonneteering? As TPL slowly slides down the drain, I think "If only we had Gene..." Your title for this paean (cannot remember correct word) must make Marksteven very happy. I suggested "Rocky" which M. nixed but he will love your title! His birth a metaphor as Baby Petes lands in the river with a splash like a rock. Lovely. The reactions varied from awe to sigh to tremble. They witnessed the birth of Petes as an act of earthly and divine love. Stanza 2 is offered as further testimony to the joy of the occasion. All seasons welcome Petes: Welcome as spring loved as summer colors of autumn brilliance of winter. Final strope is lovely, lovely. "Your world is covered by virgin snow. Your paths are marked by wildflowers and blackberries." Oh yes, there must be blackberries as that will please Mark so much (and me). This is lovely and lyrical and makes me want to roll in a field of clover, taking Baby Petes to see things for the first time. You retain the ability to choose the perfect word, bring the reader into where you are speaking and reminds of the good ole' days when I took this for granted. Don't stay away so long!! Best always, Mell
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-08-13 05:53:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Hi Gene, Have to comment on this warm, soft, alluring tribute to a child placed in a protective family by the Hand of the Creator. Can't but think this becomes a part of his legacy, and years from now it will have been saved by who knows what means, in a Baby book, or possibly placed in a frame. The poem speaks to me of the wonderous hand of Creation, and some day this now infant son, years from now will read this welcome and a special warm glo will infuse him with how wonderful people truly can be. You captured all the nuances necessary for a perfect rememberance. I imagine how tickled Mark and his family feel knowing you cared to share a portion of your warmth via this poem. It will become a treasure, and serve as a guide that even though our world seems topsy turvy in this time of his birth that there gestures of an inate goodness, and serve Peter a life's lesson. To me no better gift to last in time, really imarn't capable of these kind words. Good luck this month, but it really doesn't matter for the poem speaks on its own. Thanks for posting a poem that shows many people are capable of extending a warmth that defies this place in time. It consists of all the sensation and emotion, and I like free verse for it allows the writer lateral freedom to show a warm side. Best regards, and I'm sure Peter will know you personally and the family can see you in this poem. Jo Morgan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-08-12 15:54:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Gene--What a great personal tribute. This is a powerful little free verse with equally strong presence. Excellent analogy (with a splash like a rock). I certainly think you've covered all the seasons quite admirably and, none could be jealous. We all should be received so well at some point in our lifetime. It's awfully hard not to envy Peter Mark Scheffer-smile. Thanks for sharing this effort. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2004-08-12 15:31:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
BFB, What can I say? This is not merely a beautiful poem from a fine poet and friend on the birth of my son, but . . . your return. The fact that you would break your principled and self-imposed exile for me and me boy . . . I'm humbled. They do say actions speak louder than words, even beautiful words. You've hit for the cycle with one swing of the bat. It's been a long time since I've seen that type of stroke around here. This is much better than my twisted musing. And THIS ONE i can share with Maryann. Thank you from the bottom, bud. FP
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