This Poem was Submitted By: Primrose Maclean On Date: 2004-10-31 23:23:13 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!
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Copyright © October 2004 Primrose Maclean
LITTLE WORLD, BIG CITY
I carry this small world
So vibrant and colourful
Around with me
All of the time
And, as I sit alone
In this big city
With it's din in
I begin to enjoy
The confines of my little world
And how I can travel
To a monstrous town
To the serenity of the snow
It'll still be there
Me and You
And the ugliness and beauty
Of the worlds we share
It'll be there.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Karen Ann Jacobs On Date: 2004-11-02 14:15:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
At first I caught the initial picture you painted, and it was a very lovely picture, but then with the last few lines you gave the whole poem a yank that changed the colors. Iíve often sat and wondered at each personís personal universe that they are the center of and Iíve wondered if anyone else sees that pattern. You do and you described it wonderfully. Thanks it is good to know that our universes overlap once in a while.
I especially liked the rhythm of, "To jeer; To cheer; To revereÖ."
This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2004-11-02 11:20:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
This poem caught my eye and after I read and enjoyed it so much, I knew I wanted to comment on it. I am not sure I will read it exactly as you intended it but here it what it means to me. We all live in our own little world and we can make it exactly what we want. It can be vivid and effervescent if we choose or it can be dreary and ugly all depending on our view. Being anywhere, a big city or other places, we still carry our little world. I love the positive way you describe your world as colorful and vibrant, for that shows such a positive view. And you enjoy your little world, for it is yours to have and hold. You can perceive the big city as huge, gigantic, and to be there but you can look at that city and admire, laugh at, or be joyful in it, regardless of what it beholds. There are always both sides, our little world and the reality of the outside.
I loved the rhyming and the way you expressed yourself in this vivid truth. Great job and nice poem.
My very best,
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