This Poem was Submitted By: Lennard J. McIntosh On Date: 2005-04-17 22:09:29 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Of Stormy Climes

Like ravens croak pre-flight calls that over-reach the crests of height in waves of worried clatter –  these proud announcers  howl their claims vomited out of the filth of time to bid the War Lords arise. As spring rains beg their torrents to over-step summer flora with chills  that yawn to shiver stone. Hurried lightening explodes to festoon life in missed motion.  Wide-eyed and muted fright – a stun of speechless, of drums thriving a thunder  to arraign mankind as wrapped. As storm clouds riot  in angry columns - chosen to deny a count  of nonviolent days – to bequeath youth,  to tribute elderly,  to give to frail ones, quartered in the equinox  of a world  at war with peace.

Copyright © April 2005 Lennard J. McIntosh


This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2005-05-07 07:58:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Len: Your poem contains several frightening images and even deeper implications. It suggests an end-of-days scenario, when even Nature seems to echo this uncertainty and chaos of the human sphere. But I believe the reference is, also, to an ongoing battle waged by tangible War Lords whose poitical ambitions have an international agenda. Iraq, Afghanistan, Bosnia, Somalia -- the list goes on and on. Like ravens croak pre-flight calls that over-reach the crests of height in waves of worried clatter – The raven is symbolic of death and darkness. The idea of over-reaching would certainly apply to certain leaders who appear to be overstepping their authority (and justifying it, of course). They could be religious figures as well as military leaders or government officials. Power does corrupt, unless one is exceptionally careful. these proud announcers howl their claims vomited out of the filth of time ... powerful line! to bid the War Lords arise. History is not an optimistic sort of record. The "vomited" total of our past experiences reveals war after war, massacre after massacre. The proud announcers agitate for renewed violence, regardless of context. Like ravens, they have something to gain from death. As spring rains beg their torrents to over-step summer flora with chills that yawn to shiver stone. ... another striking image here! The "summer flora" remind us that the world in its original state is beautiful, and that we should work to keep it that way. Even the rains are sensitive to the delicacy of flowers and ferns. Why don't we, too, try to refrain from beating down the vulnerable? Hurried lightening [lightning] explodes to festoon life in missed motion. ... interesting line; it shows how everything is frozen in a brief pose Wide-eyed and muted fright – a stun of speechless, ... speechlessness? stun of [the] speechless? Syntax isn't quite working here of drums thriving a [on] thunder to arraign mankind as wrapped. The idea of an arraignment implies that we will be judged for our misdeeds. The thunder itself is a prelude to this vast trial; it seems more than just a natural phenomenon, and so we quail beneath its roar. But even the clouds are warlike, militant. As storm clouds riot in angry columns - ... militaristic image, most appropriate here chosen to deny a count of nonviolent days – The count would probably be slim; I have read that in all of recorded history, there's a total of maybe 100 days when no war was waged anywhere on earth. The godlike anger is directed at our compulsion for blood and arms. to bequeath youth, to tribute elderly, ... unusual use of "tribute" as a verb, which it normally isn't to give to frail ones, quartered in the equinox ... "quartered" is definitely capable of two meanings of a world at war with peace. ... yes, the ultimate paradox We cannot offer to others what we fail to achieve for ourselves. As you say, the nonviolent days are few and we can't manage to give them to anyone, not even to our own civilization. What we pass on is an inherent desire to keep things stirred up, all the while protesting that we want an end to conflict. But how many of us actually can believe what we preach?? This is a deeply ironic piece. The reader shivers while absorbing its message; no one wants to admit shared culpability (yet war leaders need the support of the public or they can't act). Brenda


This Poem was Critiqued By: Audrey R Donegan On Date: 2005-04-30 19:43:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.10000
Your first three lines are so very well written. Brava! also: 'wide-eyed and muted fright- a stun of speechless' This poem speaks loudly of our current times. Brave and bold this piece sends chills though me. See my poem 'Revolution' and 'The Times'. You might enjoy them. Thanks for posting. Audrey
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-04-26 09:27:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi. Len. Good to see your work. I was up your way for a poetry convention in Vancouver earlier this month . I am an ex Winnipegger – it was grand to be back in Canada. Many of my relatives have moved to BC [smart of them] so it was a delight to be in your magnificent province for a lot of reasons. This is a really fine poem in so many ways Len. Please allow me to make some small suggestions – Like ravens [croaking] pre-flight calls Great personification that over-reach the crests of height in waves of worried clatter – this poem – and especially that opening – are rich with meter and phrasing these proud announcers howl their claims vomited out of the filth of time [good strong verb] to bid the War Lords arise. The drama increases as the metaphor becomes more richly built and apparent- it is so difficult to write good polemic poetry but this one exceeds in every way possible As spring rains beg [its?] torrents to over-step summer flora with chills that yawn to shiver stone. Lovely and musical Hurried lightening explodes to festoon life in missed motion. The explosion is palpable – fine phrase that sends us reeling – Wide-eyed and muted fright – a stun of speechless,[seems to be missing a noun here or perhaps it should be {the speechless or speeches?] of drums thriving a thunder to arraign mankind as wrapped. fantastic and wonderful animation of ideas As storm clouds riot in angry columns – [great] chosen to deny a count of nonviolent days – [amazing and lyrical juxtaposition of consonants ] to bequeath youth, to tribute elderly, to give to [endow?}[ gift?]]provide for?] frail ones, quartered in the equinox of a world [grand expression!} at war with peace. I love the ending which is evocative of the Dostoyevsky title and thus turns to literature to remind us that the struggle for peace in this world is a long one. Excellent poem, Len, please just ignore my meddling where I have simply not gotten the point. Rach
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2005-04-20 11:15:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Len, It's been too long since I critted you or you my stuff. I haven't been here much but forever love TPL. Stormy climes could appear anywhere but somehow, I get the feeling of the Atlantic or the North sea although you do not specify. A storm is a storm and to live in a stormy climate requires a certain mind-set IMO. Due to my ignorance, I know what the equinox is and when it occurs but is it more stormy at those times? Your 1st stanza is a jolt which is a good way to begin a poem. You have ravens croaking pre-flight calls in waves of worried clatter to vomit time's filth to call the War Lords to action. You end the 1st stanza with spring rains with their torrents to clump flora of summer with chills that "yawn to shiver stone." I really like the phrase I marked. You imbue your meassage with croak/calls/crests/ clatter/claims...the hard C sounds...hard sounds to howl and cut stone. Very nicely written with two alliterative phrases and such harsh (and perfect) words. I listen for the vocables in a poem...sound is 75% of its beauty for me. "Hurried light(e)ning explodes to festoon life in missed motion." Excellent, and your poem truly shines with your linguistry, Len. As I recall from your prior work, word choice is one of your strong points. Your poem "a stun of speechless" for your reader. The metaphor of drums thriving a thunder is well done. "To arraign mankind as wrapped." Sorry, I don't get it unless you mean "That's a wrap". Now "warped" I would agree. (heh-heh). And final stanza brings us full-circle, back to where we began, in storms. Storm clouds riot to deny a count of non-violent days. Then the rewards enumerated ending in a world "at war with peace." Brilliant. Wish I had written it and watch me or I'll snag some of your pithy and unique phrases. (This is the highest compliment I give.) Your work is like a fine, dry wine, aged to perfection or a bit of buzz like tequila. I enjoyed it, charmed by your writing. Congratulations! Best, Mell
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-04-18 10:16:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Len: I read this like a telegram. It is, I think, condensed to bring a message. Again, it seems to reach out to tap the sleeping, this reader among them. That I live in denial of what seems fast approaching, like a locomotive, cannot be denied. If I can stand in for a ‘universal reader’ so to speak, there is contained herein a warning. The poetics are, once more, sublime. Part of me wants a ‘pretty picture’ – a pastoral scene to soothe my aches. But here it is, as is, reality. The one which makes me turn away from the evening news. The growing body of evidence, as my grandmother might once have said, “As plain as the nose on your face!” The “stormy times” in which we live are illustrated by this poem. That the weather’s storming can be seen as a message is made abundantly clear in this superbly-crafted work. Like ravens croak pre-flight calls that over-reach the crests of height in waves of worried clatter – An example of ‘wonderful’ are the combined sounds of “ravens/waves” and the hard ‘k’ consonant in “croak/crests/clatter” among many other samples. ”vomited out of the filth of time” --pungent language, indeed! Events in nature parallel the rising of the “War Lords” with “chills that yawn to shiver stone.” Hurried lightening explodes to festoon life in missed motion. Wide-eyed and muted fright – a stun of speechless, of drums thriving a thunder –exquisite, esp. “thriving a thunder” to arraign mankind as wrapped. Identifies mankind as ‘wrapped’ like a package to be delivered? I think of synonyms like ‘bound’ or ‘swathed’ and it’s difficult to see the picture of so many who seem so innocent – among them, at least for this reader, the have-nots who suffer at every cataclysm, while the wealthier among us go unscathed, for now. As storm clouds riot in angry columns - chosen to deny a count of nonviolent days – to bequeath youth, to tribute elderly, to give to frail ones, quartered in the equinox of a world at war with peace. This last is your most powerful stanza. I cannot deny its truth, though I truly long to do so. Now I see those innocents who tenderly care for their dead, with respect for the aged, frail, and young. They are innocent of the decisions for war made by the powerful nations. I’m not certain I fully understand, but I will continue to ponder the meaning. Does the poem say that there have been no ‘nonviolent days’ at all? Or is this state of ‘war’ just becoming apparent because of extremes which become more and more evident to the observant, including the extremes of weather? The poem seems true whether taken as a metaphoric or a literal accounting. It’s difficult to sit with my uneasiness, as I want to turn away to daily concerns. Len, your poetry is so powerful that if I take this poem correctly, I am forced to see things differently. Will I do so and act upon my vision? That is what you leave each reader to decide. Beyond excellent, but very disturbing, my friend. My warmest good wishes, Joanne
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