This Poem was Submitted By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2005-11-11 04:45:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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In Remembrance Of 62

Prasutagusís death as foretold by the seer cost Boudicca and Iceni dear. Slashed with a lash, cut to the bone daughters defiled  by rabid wolves of Rome. Proud priestess and warrior queen implored Andrastra to send forth her ravens of nightmare, panic and war. She rallied the people to the sound of her horn. Three women chariot borne armed with spear, shield and sword finest steel from Gobanís forge. Paulinus, scourge of the druids holy isle sent runners to the city of the lake calling for the standard of the Ninth. Vengeance taken, no quarter or mercy was shown scent of burned flesh and wicker  filled Neroís nose. A nation reclaimed what was rightfully theirs finally routed in the midlands the tribes dispersed. Honour now given and richly deserved. A chalice chosen, filled with a lethal brew freedom regained by one woman for the likes of me and you.

Copyright © November 2005 stephen g skipper

This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2005-12-03 12:24:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
Stephen, I want you to structure this poem within the metered count of iambic pentameter. The heroic couplet virtually demands it and you obviously have the skill to accomplish the task. I'm really not one to talk, I all to often mix verse and free verse in a seemingly haphazard fashion (of all things) and I depart most formulations without much precedence. And I'm not kind to mediocrity...hardly ever. When you are employing mythology, absolutely rely on the reader to follow without cues in your poem, thus, you can reduce a stumble, "(her)ravens of nightmare" to "ravens of nightmare" and solve the metered foot count problem for that line easily. Check it out and see for yourself how much nicer to the ear this is. Shakespeare and Christopher Marlowe had such long-reaching impact on all drama and verse that followed their marvelous work, that I do believe it has sunk to the subliminal level of our consciousness. If so, that would explain why so many oddly digress almost unconsciously to copy them. Few however bring the gifts you show promise of delivering. Make yourself famliar with Elizabethan sonnet and get to work. JCH

This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2005-11-27 20:42:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Stephen, I always enjoy a strongly-written narrative poem with an historical basis. The story of Boudicca (or Bodicea) has considerable appeal for me, as she was a fearless woman who didn't back down from her stance, even when faced with certain defeat. You've incoporated the essential details without making the story too unclear or unbelievable. And it is, indeed, a remarkable tale of courage and pride. I like the use of internal rhyme and occasional end rhyme that isn't always full, but often slant (e.g. borne, sword, forge). Use of assonant vowels makes this a pleasure to read aloud. It follows the oral tradition which would originally have passed this tale from place to place. Likewise, the imagery also works to make the reader/listener imagine the blood and terror of this particular kind of warfare. The mention of the wicker basket burnings is a nice touch -- I can think of no more gruesome way to die than to be roasted alive like that!! In the end, the brave queen of the Iceni did the only thing she could and avoided capture trhough death by personal choice. You nicely suggest this without giving every gory detail. She and her band of warriors left their imprint on the annals of legend. Over time, the story has grown in the telling, I'm sure, but the basic facts are undeniable. You do them justice. Have you ever read the historical novel by Kathleen Woodiwiss, "The Eagle and the Raven"? It's an excellent narrative of the Boudicca saga. The extraordinary heroes and heroines of any age live to defend the ordinary folk from oppression. You've raised this point in the last line. Good work - very interesting to read. Brenda
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-11-26 14:09:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.79167
Hi Steve, This piece really works for me. I find it intriquing and very well written. The form you use, to spin this tale, is unusual but for such an ambitious write as this one is I find it most pleasing. Your lines flow well from one to the other and you make the concept easy to grasp. It is obvious that you put a lot of time and a lot of yourself into this piece and made it outstanding! I keep telling you this, but it is true....your writing improves with each peice you post. Keep it up! Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-11-18 13:20:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.58824
Stephen, I recently told another here "F the form" in a critique reply. Well, that was true at the moment I said it; I felt that way. But what I didn't realize was that that emotion was inspired by form. Of course, only in part. The aesthetic does many things, one of the things it does is channel: love, awe, fear, pity, etc. The noblest emotions, thoughts, without expression in a corresponding, appropriate form, incarnation, mean nothing. Time is elusive. I note you use three line stanzas, with the odd one line stanza somewhat randomly, though it appears to be followed by 3 stanzas in each instance. I don't have the patience (or time) to sit here and decipher why the "flesh" of this poem is attractive, but it is. It was infused with a meaningful form, and that is saying something very important when we are talking about art, a making. Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-11-13 23:18:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Steve, As I promised, here are my thoughts on your poem. In Remembrance Of 62 [interesting title] Prasutagusís death as foretold by the seer cost Boudicca and Iceni dear. [how very true, cost them everything and eventually their lives, King Prasutagus should never have tried to will part of his kingdom to his family, he should have realized that the Romans would take everything after his death. His independence was tenuous at best.] Slashed with a lash, cut to the bone daughters defiled by rabid wolves of Rome. [what a horrible thing for a mother to witness and bare, the rape of her daughters] Proud priestess and warrior queen implored Andrastra to send forth her ravens of nightmare, panic and war. She rallied the people to the sound of her horn. [just shows that women are capable of rising to the challenge when they have to] Three women chariot borne armed with spear, shield and sword finest steel from Gobanís forge. Paulinus, scourge of the druids holy isle sent runners to the city of the lake calling for the standard of the Ninth. Vengeance taken, no quarter or mercy was shown scent of burned flesh and wicker filled Neroís nose. A nation reclaimed what was rightfully theirs finally routed in the midlands the tribes dispersed. Honour now given and richly deserved. A chalice chosen, filled with a lethal brew freedom regained by one woman for the likes of me and you. [If it hadnít been for Queen Boudica standing up and fighting back for the Iceni, would anyone even have known of their existence] Your poem IMHO,gives a wonderful account of Gaelic history from the point of view of the conquered rather than the conquerors. Most of what Iíve read only states about the Roman conquest of the Iceni lands but then we are not of the Isles so I can only imagine that we get a slanted view reported to us although one would think that all history would be reported the same regardless what country is doing the reporting. I really like your accounting of these events, and of course Iíve always felt for the people who were invaded by the Normans, Rome etc. from the Iceni to Rob Roy and Wallace and all the rest who tried so hard to hang on to their ancestral lands. I found your write easy to read, your words moved this reader along at a nice pace and the visual structure was pleasing to the eye. Your verbiage painted pictures in graphic detail for this reader. Thank you for this bit of history and a pleasant read. Warmest always, Lora
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