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This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2005-12-10 08:03:06 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Mannequins

now move from the breast-indicative to the anatomically correct & despite its political incorrectness modern dolls are apparently ok with this transparent grab for the female ass ... Barbies boxed in carbon-freeze turned on by their own decapitation ... shriek louder than braking Galle Road buses on an otherwise quiet Saturday "the future is now" afternoon

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-01-03 08:19:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.20000
Mark hope your New Year was great for my holidays were. You caught this reader in the first few stanza's thinking about how the female plays the part actually not minding the result or at least that is what I saw. The part about boxed in carbon-freeze was my favorite for it made me look for the depth. My only difficulty was in the ending on the afternoon, remember I am dense and need it spelled out a little more than most. Is it about the cycle of life of the female? Thanks for sharing will come back to take a further look at this one. Like the wording and depth.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-12-20 18:32:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark, I have read this till I think I'm going to scream.......OK, heres my take although it is probably way off, so beat me. It reminds me of a cat fight. We as women, espouse equality, ignore our gender (although most people know that men and women process info differently)in other words let our intelligence be praised, our abilities...blah,blah,blah and never ever patronize or do for us because of our appearance or temperment... then, we turn around and give our little darlings replica's of the percieved ideal via dolls etc., thus we engender another generation that will fight to break the stigma's and contradictions of society, told you I was probably way out there. Society will always have double and triple standards, those in power will set the rules and those not will strive for something more that better fits their own ideals... Today it might be political correct and tomorrow not and then we'll rip the head off and start again,,,, have we driven you mad yet? Ah, and what would you fella's do without us exasperating women? Best always, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2005-12-20 11:17:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
MAH, The most delicious part of this is the hordouvere - however you spell that damn French world - the title. The word, of course, makes reference to "man" as in "human" but, as I said, the other, male sense is delicious. I get the time allusions and connections in "breast-INDICATIVE" and "future is now," hear a pun in "turned on," and love the use of "dolls" to refer to the living variety. I hear Frank and Dino are getting back together in Vegas. Meet you there. Bring a "doll." Don't tell the other . . . well, I won't tell my other half. I suppose yours, rolling down the hill, couldn't give a shit. But I'm kidding, of course. My immoral bark is much louder than my gumming bite is sharp. I've come back from the critiquer's grave for this? Alas. MSS

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-12-18 13:57:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Mark, I could easily say, “what the hell are you on about?” Your obvious references to PC and the monotheism of everyone the same dominates the piece- The Mannequins moved by the “society” to ensure they are all posed the same- Until- everyone is posed "correctly". Someone has the gall to add “more” features- and somehow, those feature which should be insignificant for the needs of a Mannequin, are accepted and posed- society is a bit fickle I think. Then there is the overall undertone of social “over appreciation” of sexual topics almost as if being beautiful or sexual hold greater value- when in actuality the “status quo” of the beautiful sexual image if at best an equal to many other considerations- cut the pie (figuratively speaking, pun aside), and the hedonist seems to always get the largest slice. And as the next generation is weaned on the product of surface rust and ghoulishness- it is a very good day indeed- let us hope the future remains- malleable.

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-12-13 14:52:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.58333
But, but, but...there is no future. ONly now. But what you've read here is already past. And now it appears you want to ban Barbies? What about my grand-daughter who doesn't give a rat's ass about anatomically correct dolls. That's why I gave up my blow-up one for the real thing! Oh Mark...too funny man! P.S.: And I happen to like the female ass!!!

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