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death...her victory! they laid her to rest today, though in truth she had been long since buried neath mounds of paperwork, her body broken; the weight of injustice levied by the justice system, what price she paid! a price for everything, compensation due the social worker, the judge, but none as high as that due the mother of this innocent child, what benefits she reaped; a monthly remittance for support of insane abuse, rendered for child's welfare: pennies for pounding, nickels for noxiousness, dimes for dueling, quarters for the quell, til, alas, a dollar for death! the child's innocence impugned many times over. three years she garnered pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, dollars of deceit; the checks cease today. another fought for right to claim this child of plight, she once won, until the system stepped in again, seeking justice, a mother's restoration of rights. her grandmother stands empty-handed at her grave, having relinquished her soul into the hands of a greater judge, one not predisposed of pleas of a mother's innocence, caches of caseloads, trust in the theory that all who work for the system compile faultless data, insuring child of protection, predator's denial... she revels now in heavenly realm, her joy is peace, her suffering ceased; death...her victory! |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2006-01-18 00:40:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Your poem is apt commentary on a system, in which the welfare of the child should come first,
and often does not.
The format of the poem is interesting, each line a thought, you capture the point by point
method that bureaucracy favors and its failings to deal effectively with people. Too
much abnegation of responsibility results when social workers hold to the letter of the laws
made, mainly to protect themselves.
It is difficult for anyone to see death as a victory, and that doesn't work for me. Through
I believe that all receive their just rewards in the long run; still, it is the least
satisfactory outcome for a child in the welfare system. But, as the poem was understated,
you may have deliberately intended irony.
This poem deals with such a serious social issue, one in which the flesh and blood of those
involved must be determined by more then just handbooks of rules.
Terry