This Poem was Submitted By: Sean Donaghy On Date: 2006-01-27 01:33:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Courting Maureen

Soft as a slipper gliding through the forest lawn's green grass, hushed as a partridge hiding 'til the hunter's hound goes past, you stand, almost a shadow, in the cold gaze of the moon. Your eyes, like fields gone fallow, barely hint of someday, soon. It's been for days, it's been for years, it's been for centuries I've listend to the vesper chant and all the "blessed be's." I've watched you give your time to God, breath to father's home. You plant your feet deep in this sod and swear you'll never roam. Yet if you, but once, would catch my eye or catch my whispered words, you'd see the splendor of the try and hear how love occurs. So wait, Maureen, no longer than it takes a dream to sigh. For sure, sometime in God's great plan, you'll see me passing by.

Copyright © January 2006 Sean Donaghy

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2006-02-04 14:36:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Sean Lovely, easy style here. I hope Maureen got the message. I hope you got Maureen. Mark

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2006-01-30 17:24:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Sean: I'm not sufficiently well to give you a crit but I cannot let this poem disappear without a comment. I've had it in my notebook in bed where I keep poems of significense to me. Your poetics are sound...form, meter, rhyme but that is groundwork (well done) upon which you lay your thoughts and feelings. There is a hint of the Irish, boyo, from the name of the maiden called Maureen to phrases in the 1st stanza and in the third and fourth. Sean, I hope you are Irish as there's a "feel" to your poem that bespeaks same. I hope you read the Irish poets and you MUST read Seamus Heaney, the most brilliant I've ever encountered. My son told me last night that this Nobel poet will be coming to Dallas (where I live)in a couple of months. The problem for me is HOW DOES A BEDFAST PERSON WHO CANNOT WALK ATTEND THEATER WHERE HEANEY WILL READ?? My favorite bits in your poem: "the splendor of the try and hear how love occurs" "no longer than it takes a dream to sigh". There are flashes of brilliance here that I may have missed but since I keep a copy with me, I cannot go wrong. Best wishes, Mell Morris
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2006-01-30 07:24:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
This is really the kind of poetry I enjoy for it is something from within. You show a need and desire showing the picture of being ingnored. If only she could catch the eye her freedom would be released and that is what life was intended to be free of fear, bask in the wonders of life. You have captured this reader by the word selection and short story presented that makes me think of times past. This is one that I would not change in anyway for it flows, presentation is great, and story given. Well done.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2006-01-29 11:37:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Dear Sean, This is a breathtaking love poem, very nicely written and full of loves passion and sustainment. I really enjoyed this poem, for the quality of the emotions that comes through in each verse. You've got a nice, easy flow - which enhances the poem from beginning to end. It kind of reminds me of olden days, for some reason, whether it was meant to or not. I particularly enjoyed the last verse, with the tempo, and rhyme scheme together, was a fitting ending to a good write. I'm hoping the couple in this poem, do get together - making the dream come true! sincerely, Denimari
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