DeniMari Z.'s E-Mail Address: firstname.lastname@example.org
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|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by DeniMari Z.||Critique Date|
|If Ever There||Joe Gustin||What an ideal world we would live in with no more wars; no more senseless killing, no more violence put on media to watch, cringe and forget about because we're not there - in the midst of it - we hear and see all of the horrible details from afar - unless - we are apart of the military and their pledges to "fight" for what's right" - The are drilled over and over to become almost mechanical to win and claim victory - for what? There's enough time in life to find death in other ways and we unfortunately have been "at War" far too many times, beautiful poem, Deni||2016-11-21 20:34:36|
|Here I AM||Joe Gustin||What a relaxing read this is Joe - All the comforts of home and the smallest of things inside can be worth so much more than anything away from home - In it's own right you've taken the reader from the harshness of outside inside to the peace and quiet of home. We all need to go through the darkness to find the light - it's such a natural part of life. Very nicely written, Deni||2016-11-19 07:40:22|
|Morning Scent||Lora Silvey||They are without a doubt "Tender Treasures Of Day's Birth", the gift of a new day with the simplest of pleasures that envelop us to enjoy are at hands reach - These are the worlds best moments to live in and appreciate every single day - The birds are nature just happy and singing every morning while they fly to feed themselves and find shelter - they are happy to do so for it was intended for them - the calling of the birds are to greet not just themselves to a new day but to show us how blessed we are - Beautifully written - a wonderful poetic write as always with the soft words you instill - to each line - It's a beautiful day to enjoy - Deni||2016-09-16 12:17:44|
|Feathers||Joanne M Uppendahl||What a beautiful poem on loss Joanne; I take heart to your words having suffered through many deaths in my family - Grief and I are not strangers - the pain goes beyond words but to write them as poetically as you have - is the process toward healing - if healing to be whole again comes - personally I believe it can't fully heal for the depth of the love so deep and the selfless act of care giving comes back in memories - It's a life changing event - and this sadness can surface out of the blue - and pull you back in to it - yet you have found a way to equate this to an event as your subtle lines tap in to that black hole - an analogy so well said - it made my heart skip a beat - My sincerest sentiments to you - and may you progress with healing - and continue writing - this is sad but inspirational at the same time. Blessings, Deni||2016-07-05 22:28:08|
|Hummingbird||Joe Gustin||I love this poem Joe. You have captured and pay homage to love like no other poet I know. Very good descriptions with imagery; which stand out in your first verse especially unprotected nectar - and gently move through the second verse as well - the place - of which it is - nothing better than paradise on Earth - This really peaked my curiosity all the way through - the rebirth of love - and the beautiful ending to this poem - On my list, blessings, Deni||2016-07-05 22:21:29|
|Sixteen Candles||Mark Steven Scheffer||The reference to another point in time was very effective pull in to your poem - When you lived in those times you never forget - yet then I hesitated with your fourth verse; and re-read the entire piece which is written in simple terms which you normally veer away from - and I imagine it's a tribute - and a good one at that - speaking of enduring love etched on her gravestone - Very good write, Deni||2016-07-05 22:16:16|
|The Long Reach (Detroit, 1967)||Mark Steven Scheffer||I've met someone from Detroit who said the city "destroyed" them; My take on your poem has the feel of destruction yet my memory is lapsing on what happened there in 1967; several things come to mind but I don't want to guess wrong. Your style and embellishment stands out - you are always fueled with passion when you write - I'm a fan - and always will be, blessings, Deni||2016-06-15 12:43:57|
|The Rooftop, The End||Regina M. Heller||A wonderful poem Regina - and I appreciate your note because it made me go back and read it again - and again - to enjoy your words so poetic and sincere - They were young but held wisdom some never learn in life- very good read, Deni||2016-05-06 12:03:20|
|Days||Joe Gustin||Nicely written Joe - Clear retrospect of the writer and emotions combined with imagery - it is written with a gentle tone - which makes this more interesting and inspiring - The reader wants to take that walk - as complex and intricate as it may be at the same time - For everything under Heaven is protected if we just believe it so - blessings, Deni||2016-05-06 11:59:59|
|Oxbow’s Lament||Lora Silvey||Beautiful poem Lora; once again you've instilled the most vivid imagery in to a wonderful poem - A tale that takes me back in time a little with descriptives which interject magic and wonder in to the heart of the reader. I love everything about this poem and the ending is stand out - a reckoning a passage to put the weapons down and live free - Gorgeous, blessings, Deni||2016-05-06 11:57:19|
|My Soul Dreams||Joe Gustin||Great poem Joe - I love this one- the impact of what a soul can truly do is unimaginable but can be seen with your words and precise verses that are injected with mellow verses that can not escape what you have written - The last verse is my favorite - in imagery - Kudos to you - blessings, Deni||2016-04-18 19:21:32|
|Erte’s Abstraction||Lora Silvey||Simply beautiful Lora, You always manage to perfect your imagery that pulls the reader in to the moment and essence of each poem you write - It's dreamlike but at the same time realistic because there are some so fortunate to engage this way - The tone is pure passion yet delicate as well - Love this - on my list, blessings, Deni||2016-04-18 19:18:44|
|Lords of the Realm||Mark Steven Scheffer||The tone of this poem had me feeling one particular way - back to the days of Romeo & Juliet - until I saw Twitterized and I laughed out loud - because I wasn't expecting it - Good poem- I hope Mark appreciates this piece as much as I did, blessings, Deni||2016-04-05 21:20:00|
|Of the Resurrection of the Dead||Mark Steven Scheffer||There is so much in this poem; no one can dispute your lines and chosen words are always near perfect in place and that I for one am always pulled in deeper to your poems - and this has so many messages within it - it's hard to point out exactly one message of all - your verses - As technology blossoms and is ahead of itself at midnight every night - this world has dug deep in to being plugged in continuously for fear of missing something else - that surrounds them - it's an addiction to most - yet some still are ready and willing to pull away and get back out - This stanza really caught my eye; please enlighten me- the imagery is the finest I've seen. She counted the rings on her straitjacket. She imagined hanging ribbons to them, so she did, with her ghostly hands. Then she spit out her pills in the toilet, stuck her tongue out in the mirror, and went off looking for home. I have always been a fan of your poetry - and you always always - write the most beautiful poems - blessings, Deni||2016-04-05 21:17:45|
|I so miss the tone nation||Joe Gustin||The title made me hesitate - Tone Nation - could be interpreted in different ways - i.e. - general tone of connection and how the yin and yang flowed between two people - sufficiently enough to include that black dress - and every woman has one of those - Lovely poem - last verse is my favorite - blessings, Deni||2016-03-28 22:11:56|
|Please||Joe Gustin||Your love poems are so softly written with a very nice rhyme scheme; I so appreciate your imagery as well - it's a honed talent only men with beautiful spirits can achieve - Any woman would love this piece - Very nicely written Joe, blessings Deni||2016-03-28 22:09:13|
|For Me||Joe Gustin||Your poem has such a sad tone about it - and that sadness comes out within each of your verses - You're living for today but are holding on to something that needs to be let go of - and it's difficult to say what it could be - The ending is very mysterious in my opinion - You have some very rich imagery and testaments to the Seasons - the only thing I would change would be the choice of the word "Fluffy" to describe Morris Code - I'd go with "tapping" or "Clicking" because using "Clouds" doesn't mean you have to have a common word that goes with clouds for the description - otherwise I love this Joe -I really do - blessings, Deni||2016-03-17 16:08:06|
|New Years||Joe Gustin||Joe, this is more dark than any of your other poems I've read - you've given the reader fine written lines that bring out the emotions in this piece - changes cause gaps in life - I don't believe you've been forgotten - I do believe the higher power cares - and this home is only temporary - Within you lies the answer - and I believe if you work at it daily - the answer will come - bringing a more positive path for you - to save your soul and allow you to see the colors in life again. Good read- blessings, Deni '||2016-03-01 23:58:22|
|Cyberstation||Mark Steven Scheffer||Mark, Thank you so much for this write - and the audio was most enjoyable to listen to. My instincts tell me that you have noted some progress of my true passion; and your words have brought a smile to my face for my attempts to hone poetry skills with life events over the past 16 years (the length of my time with TPL)and that I've stayed and given it my best - and will continue to do so. Blessings and peace, Deni||2016-01-20 00:43:39|
|I Can't Believe||Joe Gustin||Amazing how simple words put together in just the right fashion bring out the soul of a writer with such beautiful imagery which makes a great poem. Passion fuels this piece and your choice of words, i.e. sheet lighting eyes, rum colored hair, simply flow in the crux of this - the reason thus your second verse - Truly poetic and unique ending - "burn my old world down to exhausted wicks" One of your finest works, blessings, Deni||2016-01-03 08:46:44|
|Sweet Mysteries||Wanda S. Thibodeaux||I love the title you chose Wanda - very catchy yet simplistic - Love poems are one of my favorite reads - and you've captured it so well within each verse - Pure love and not love lost -stands out with all of the words you chose to include in it - "rain drenched lips" - beautiful - eyes to the soul with stars dancing and sparkling - such a happy feel - and always a mystery to those who are fortunate to find, live and greet a day blessed to be in love - It is a safety net - a place of refuge from the rest of the world - to know someone cares for us so much - to love us - to balance out our lives - and bring so much good in to it - I completely enjoyed this poem - blessings, Deni||2015-12-02 09:17:45|
|If I were the wind||Joe Gustin||I love the imagery and tone set in this poem Joe. Just enough but not too much - that leans on loving care with a very different approach - it's really good - I love the last verse- you would give your all - it stands out knowing the snowflake would melt - Loved this one - blessings, Deni||2015-12-02 09:05:18|
|STUTTERING JIM HEDGEHOG OF WW2.||kevin Dunn||Quite a poetic story Kevin- almost written in a fairy tale style - so full of imagery and candor - Wow - I read this twice to make sure I had the whole gist of your poem - Nothing to say against this - enchanting yet the undertone of a serious event - stood out - to the reader, blessings, Deni||2015-12-02 09:02:30|
|haiku 32||Wanda S. Thibodeaux||Love this Wanda -this would actually be a great start to a children's story - You are well skilled with Haiku - a talent I lack - very nice poem, blessings, Deni||2015-11-24 19:32:55|
|haiku 31||Wanda S. Thibodeaux||Name the place and time and I'll be there - Actually this is a beautiful picture of what a quaint moment would bring - Love how you ended it with powdered sugar kisses as it ends with love - Very nicely done, Deni||2015-11-24 19:31:22|
|Masquerade||Joe Gustin||So true, cowards at heart - trying to feel some self-importance in our world by their evil acts of violence and destruction. Your message is so clear and validated by recent events - They are not soldiers and if they are they are guided by cold hearts, cold thoughts, and "evil" minds - Very good poem, blessings Deni||2015-11-24 19:29:34|
|In A War Of Flowers||Joe Gustin||I agree; and love the way you painted these particular flowers - Too many are dying for a cause they have no burden to bear - This world has changed for the worst - I pray for a better outcome than we have now. simply beautiful, Deni||2015-11-18 19:03:33|
|The Color of Joy||Wanda S. Thibodeaux||You definitely achieved all specifics with this wonderful light poem - Very airy and makes me want to jump in and soak up some sun - read a book - or just breathe in the wonderful atmosphere - Very nicely written - my only opinion would be to X out some of the "and"s you've added but none the less it - doesn't take away the feel of this piece and the imagery made with your words - blessings, Deni||2015-11-18 18:43:31|
|EXCUSE ME SIR.||kevin Dunn||Kevin amazing- A huge wake up call for anyone feeling despair,forgotten or misused - I would hope you look to publish this poem - because it is that good - With few words you have shown us who did care enough to lay down their lives so that we could live really live, not live vicariously through others either - for our own selves - On my list and not a bit to pick at - blessings, Deni||2015-11-18 18:39:12|
|Ladeé’s Beat Goes||Lora Silvey||Surprised at the ending of this poem Lora - it has a tone of sadness and isolation i.e. - only quiet rooms can hear clocks ticking loudly -but in the beginning- I feel the metaphors are relating to the tiring process of aging and how it slowly takes a toll - Very unique with words and imagery - You are always a writer - and a very good one - blessings, Deni||2015-11-02 23:35:10|
|My Father's Hand (Words of an unborn child)||Wanda S. Thibodeaux||Love the message in the poem that flows gently creating your imagery very nicely. Beautiful and unique - truly inspiring read - blessings, Deni||2015-11-02 23:31:14|
|Calista Catherine||Wanda S. Thibodeaux||Beautiful poetic tribute to your Mother; Calista Catherine - Her spirit is fully recognized through your loving words and how she made the world a better place for her family - I imagine she was a free spirit living life to the fullest while tending to not only herself (which most mother's let slip by) but also being a wonderful role model for you - blessings, Deni||2015-10-31 19:26:25|
|Miranda||Wanda S. Thibodeaux||Great Halloween poem; the imagery and rhyme scheme perfected - Miranda was certainly repaid for her dirty deeds - Loved this one Wanda, Deni||2015-10-31 19:20:46|
|full-grown baby||charles r pitts||I detect a strong hint of sarcasm in your words - Sometimes adults never really outgrow their childish ways - the are molded and set then throw it all out to unsuspecting people- This is humorous as well, noted in the words you've chosen to write this - Good read, blessings, Deni||2015-10-30 19:05:06|
|Home||Joe Gustin||Joe; this is your very best this month - I can't say all that I feel good about in this write. Every verse is felt, seen and I stepped in to this just wanting to stay and feel comfortable. Poignant love filled emotions written with a heart that understands love in ways others may never know. "If we are what we wish then let it be a soul that runs the moon out - (Excellent) out lasts the sun (intense) to finely find it's way home - As a homeless romantic I applaud your work - All we really seek is love - beautiful poem Deni||2015-10-30 19:02:00|
|Dear Anonymous||Lora Silvey||This reinvent is a seductive play on words which provide the most beautiful imagery; where the writers heart touches the readers soul you have some stand out lines; always Lora style- nothing but breathtaking verses; Easing the reader in the second verse captures the spirit in this piece - while anticipation builds - every human sense is lit up as you continue to gently flow on with one of the most unique endings I've read to date - Anonymous Fan - Bravo!! On my list - I've read this at least five times just to enjoy your talented poetic style - blessings, Deni||2015-10-30 18:56:10|
|holocaust||Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.||The stark message with you verses is felt - no - only God judges and when evil prevails even God can't control such horrific manifestations- Surely we all know what God wanted for us in our lifetime was nothing like this - We; all humans live through stories of the horror- recants of devastation - yes there is a lot of good in life - but equal to the good is the very bad - we must brave the tales - watch the news -and try to make sense of what some humans are capable of - good write, blessings, Deni||2015-10-20 18:17:18|
|DEATH RIDES A PALE HORSE.||kevin Dunn||This is amazing. I love the story written within each verse. Flawless lines and structure. I felt like I was watching this unfold back in the wild west where life was so risky and dangers towns faced too often. I love the way you put this together and the title stands out - The stranger rode in victoriously took care of what needed to be done - and left. Every verse was captivating and on point in conveying the substance you instilled in to this write - Very nicely done, blessings, Deni||2015-10-17 21:43:40|
|For Mum||Joe Gustin||Beautiful tribute to your Mum Joe - Mothers hearts are warmed by every small gesture a child brings to her world - Love comes first in to a heart of a Mother; and so many other things follow - The end of this piece captured me; it is new and refreshing - and I always love when I read something that comes straight from the writers heart - Simply amazing, as amazing as I imagine her to be - Blessings, Deni||2015-10-17 11:02:52|
|Excerpt From a War||Wanda S. Thibodeaux||Thank you so much for sharing this with us. From start to finish it captures the readers attention, with such vivid imagery and emotion with the depiction of what life was like in these times. I would never imagined this to be a letter and think how sad a time in history where men, women and children were exposed to things that had never imagined in their lifetime - Very well written and left an impact on me - a personal impact because my own father was career Army; joining at the age of 17 who went on to become a medic helping to heal the injured in Korea - I am humbled by your poetic touch, as there by the grace of God go I, and anyone whose life has been impacted by War. on my list, blessings, Deni||2015-10-17 10:58:43|
|Don't Think You Know||Milton Robertson||I love your natural rhyme scheme; I also believe we are given a gift - the gift from above to be able to express such beautiful words in poetic form - Keep writing - you have defined your style -which is wonderful - Amen, blessings, Deni||2015-10-17 10:36:12|
|Give GOD The Glory||Milton Robertson||Wonderful poem on the awakening of what matters most in life -but go gentle on yourself - No one gets through this life without scars from our pasts - I enjoyed reading this - it's a fresh style that made me feel happy - blessings, Deni||2015-10-15 23:50:44|
|By The Grace Of GOD||Milton Robertson||Very nicely faith based poem - "there by the Grace go I" - Your rhyme scheme is very good - my only suggestion to you is to work on structure - which I learned here by very patient poets who helped me along my 10 plus years here - I would also put quotation marks with certain words i.e. - "Lord", "Father", "Jesus", "Christ", "Heavenly" for the respect you have found during your times of trials and tribulations. You have good writing skills - now to hone them and make them sharper and more concise - The Title is good but I was taught not to title my poems with words found within the body of the poem. You could change this - easily - as well as working on structure - instead of writing in paragraph form - write it in lines descending down in even form and break when you want to space and allow the piece to flow. These are only my personal suggestions - to you as the author of this poem. I believe you possess a very thankful heart for what "God" has done in your life. Blessings, Deni||2015-10-15 00:35:54|
|THE DEAD.||kevin Dunn||The one thing that truly stands out is yes; the dead are freed from earthly burdens which touch every life while alive - and within the realm of living we all have to face the issue of our own mortality -no one ever really knows - Your lines and structure do stand out with stark lines which are impressive to read - this subject is not the first choice with poets but it should always be written about in poetic fashion - after all it is the end of life - I'm glad to see you have challenged this subject here - and wrote a very nice piece that allows a reader to pause and think about this - really think and wonder - It takes a certain talent to accomplish a poem on a topic many would prefer not to think about - You gave me a lot to think about and I applaud you for that- very nicely done, Deni||2015-10-15 00:26:02|
|The legend of All Dragon's Day||kevin Dunn||This is so meticulously written; full of imagery where the reader is taken away and put in this story -with anticipation of what will be for the maiden. The characters in this poem are well described to feel and see though the whole read itself - I was relieved at the end that the dragon won -and loved the words "Harmless ashes" - so new and fresh words - Victory was the dragons in this tale - very good job - I was taken back to mid-evil times and to a feast as well, blessings, Deni||2015-10-03 07:20:25|
|My line||Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.||Oh - this is great Medard - I'm not sure where to start my critique - (smile) - The depth of this poem touches the reader - in so many different ways - 3rd verse is outstanding - the art of your talent has defined this piece - the 6th verse makes me wake up and think - he has perfected a poem - and I am loving it so much - My Line- is your own individuality - stark, expressive, leaving this reader wanting to read more - I don't see one thing wrong in this poem - I just love it - Kudos to you - for submitting such a wonderful write - Deni||2015-09-29 07:49:28|
|As Summer Exhales||Joe Gustin||Nice short poem Joe - imagery takes the reader from Summer to Fall - with concise lines that bring your poem to life - On to Fall one of the nicest seasons to enjoy as a gift from above, Deni||2015-09-29 07:44:10|
|ONE BY THE NAME.||kevin Dunn||I really enjoyed the style this was written in - perhaps old verbiage but written with vivid imagery that clearly shows how anyone can go from rags to nothing - This world runs on money - lack of brings indigent and a clear loss of dignity as what was once familiar and comfortable is taken away leaving those that need - to find another way to live - It's economics - it's not even about being on a budget- nothing in employment is secured anymore - any bad turn will result in poverty and poverty is gaining ground - by millions - Very nicely written, Blessings, Deni||2015-09-27 12:45:06|
|In the Wake||James C. Horak||I love your poetry JC; your specific talent is to take words and phrase them in such a poetic style - What you're saying is comprehended in the way all poets should strive to be able to do. On my list- as you write and make this reader wanting more - Blessings, Deni||2015-09-27 12:39:17|
|Do We Not Ponder||James C. Horak||Absolutely beautiful - I honestly have nothing to add to this poetic piece - It flows naturally in with the scheme of content and I salute your talent - on my list - Deni||2015-09-06 19:53:34|
|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by DeniMari Z.||Critique Date|
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