This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2010-11-09 21:22:07 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Golden Leaves in Crimson Hands (Part I)

I. Golden leaves crumble  Like shattered glass tumbles From jagged mirrors Edges tear Life apart from inside out Millions of pieces scattered about Within a frozen well of mind Icicles standing in time Melting slowly drip by drip Coming alive sharing their bit Of horror scenes And nightmare screams Till once more the dawn it comes And wipes away the fearsome ones Frozen again and timeless still In raging burning fire’s grill How can fire freeze in time? How can ice burn a line? Of blood stained hands  And guilty lands The timeless pieces They do stand

Copyright © November 2010 Mandie J Overocker


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-11-27 17:30:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mandie, I am not sure of your target; the analogy to autumn/winter and living/death is obvious. I respond to this piece by assuming you speak of the beauty of living, and the ill that some in humanity bring to the vision. An in that metaphor is the third metaphor; that of the internal struggles which emulate the loss and/or rebirth, the ills and the fears; creating a "freeze" (hiding within) and a "burning" with "screams" of the internal conflict and rage (raging). Lastly these images remain "timeless", of living and the world, no matter- it is not enough to erase or overcome the damage. I do want to read the next two; finding a resolution and constitution are tantamount to victory. A passionate piece.


This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-11-11 01:11:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mandie, This poem reeks of sadness that tugs at the heart strings of this critquer. I can feel the sorrow and melancholy that limns the lines. Your last verse is especially powerful. Your word selection is excellent and the flow is even and fluid...not always easy to do in free verse. A profound and evocative poem. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne
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