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Reality's Promise Freedom beckons to my soul Taunting the chains that hold it still If only I could hold on to Reality’s unrelenting promise to feel The sense that comes from letting go Releasing the fear that binds me To those who wish to keep the soul down Commanding allegience and loyalty Guilt is their weapon of choice to use Fear is only a secondary gain For when manipulation’s at play The soul then suffers only pain Emotional toll consuming the heart Mental exhaustion as the mind does rage Physical drain as the body betrays And the soul begins to rattle it’s cage Thirsting for freedom once felt long ago Before life was tainted by living in fear Consumed by shame and guilt misplaced Of all the lies told by everyone near Becoming an automaton in the world Numbing itself the soul settled down Shutting off senses within and without To never feel love from other’s around The world became a dark place to live But now a promise from reality shines Hope into the darkest corners of the mind Where the soul has been locked in time The soul awakens and opens its eyes Seeing reality for the first time in years The lies exposed for truth is free Sight now clear even through tears Now Freedom beckons to my soul To speak truth and destroy the seal The chains that held my soul in place Break free to finally reveal There is more to life than fear and pain Guilt and shame kept me concealed So now I must hold on to Reality’s unrelenting promise to feel |
Additional Notes:
Posted this one in December, but had no reviews. I noticed quite a bit that needed revising, so have reposted it this month with some changes.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-02-13 21:00:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Often with your pieces, as the reread and absorption take place, I have to begin from the end.
It is such with this piece. “There is more to life than fear and painâ€. Having just read your Persephone, I consider that the portion of the metaphor that remains with me in that story.
I wonder here, what the “new freedom†is about. I believe you reveal that to delve into those feelings is more than a narcissistic event, rather a necessary moment to resolve self love, rather than loathing. I wonder what the distraction is, but I hear it loud and clear.
“guilt is a weapon of choice†– this brings so much to the table. I think, read “The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever†(Stephen R Donaldson). By the third book, the revelation of self and instruments of decision more than make the time of reading worth it. I have always considered the 1st three books and the 2nd three books should be required reading for the human race.
This was an extreme look into the soul. I could hear the consternation and need.