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His Echo She crawled inside his skin to feel what he felt and knew she must linger there to drink of his sweet song She asked him to do the same before he walked away Inside her ceramic soul his whispers echo still where broken clouds and lilacs dwell She sipped his heady wine an image that haunts her dreams when she seeks to nestle close With heart in tow and suit cased tight she sets his skin aside |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-07-29 21:27:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Cheyenne I feel a great loss with this piece; and subsequent relief.
I am not sure, but echo must ring for memory, and if that memory regards itself within heartbreak or loss, then the skin that remains would follow the melody that was left.
your similes were well done as usual, and the metaphors- and yet it is the straight forward line “haunts her dreams†that stays with me long after numerous readings.
This is a very fine piece, filled with answers and contradictions. I am glad to have read it.