This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-10-17 16:03:16 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Innocent

softly innocent awash in tangled sheets sleepy sighs await longing lips stroking her inner warmth with midnight whispers stars casually caress smiles bathed in silver halos that scatter on skin like dewdrops in lavender scent love awakes in moist cascades where passion sweeps melting her innocence like ice of early spring

Copyright © October 2011 cheyenne smyth


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-10-20 11:07:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
cheyenne; what a wonderful view. There is too little romance and sensuality in the postings. Let me say, first of all; your piece melds dreams and actuals into a wonderful image. One is never sure if the dream exists, or if the response is waking to a person or illusion. It really doesn’t matter, such feelings exist as they do- at times it is nice to hear a first person image without ever knowing the quality of the inspiration/person inspiring the moment. Superb piece. Your title, “Innocent”, after reading the piece reminded me instantly of the Song of Solomon and in particular the verse Song of Solomon 5:2 I sleep, but my heart waketh: it is the voice of my beloved that knocketh, saying, Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled: for my head is filled with dew, and my locks with the drops of the night. This is about as sweet and subtly hot as a verse can be. One might grasp the metaphor of waking to life and the beauty of it all. Mostly, it makes me glad to view a part of the writer, most will never know on a personal basis.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2011-10-18 15:53:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Cheyenne, Wow! The very first couple of lines of the poem gave me images of the virginal bed, some young, beautiful, inexperienced, innocence, and the mood and tone are set so well. The poem has a very light and delicate feeling to it. It reads softly because you choose the right words. The very first line /softly innocent/ alludes to what is to come. You drive the poem along and end it with, not a bang, but with a beauty. Love is beautiful and love making is just as beautiful, if not more (smile). I'm not sure if this is what your intent for the end of this poem was, but you paint a picture of this youthful beauty, yet you lead it into love, a lovely experience. So often we here of sex, and the thoughts are distasteful or perverted or bashful, shameful even. I like that you have written about such a private matter in a way that can publicly be adored. All of the words are sensual and sacred. I like it very much. This poem is nice to read as well as internalize. Good job.
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