This Poem was Submitted By: Mark D. Kilburn On Date: 2012-04-18 21:48:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Skeeter's Poem

Oh Harry where'd you go so young? Your voice made many a warrior cry could break the girls' love puppy hearts Why'd that crazy party ever need to start? Your words skipping over the ocean like a storm A whole generation could've been lost Without You We watched you when you'd Jump into the Fire when you couldn't fly higher, your Good Old Desk threw you a curve. The father had a son, in 1941 In 1944 the dad walked out the door another did the same, in 1972 then wrote about those troubles in words both black and blue. Unscrupulous agents robbed him blind they took the lime in the  Coconut and left poor Harry the rind Some called him a  Spaceman but in his day he'd get Everyone Talking. Oh Skeeter you're missed by me but your voice is still operatic so dolorously pealing a canticle there could only be  One Harry, there'll never be another...

Copyright © April 2012 Mark D. Kilburn

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-05-02 12:51:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mark, This is a marvelous poem, it is well crafted and creative. I have to admit I wish I knew who Harry and Sketter are. The father had a son, in 1941 In 1944 the dad walked out the door another did the same, in 1972 then wrote about those troubles in words both black and blue. These lines make me think of divorce and a re-marry where someone was abused. Was that Skeeter and is it possible that he is you? Even if I don't quite get it I still think it is a first rate poem and one that begs to be pondered. Hope you are okay. Best wishes, cheyenne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-04-24 00:47:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark! You really need to give us more information! My imagination is realing with the posiblities. I do think you have some really good lines and some good imagery going on. Your first verse delivers a good message: Harry went wrong. Seems like you tried to say that the hard way! Really, the next 9 lines are like that too. Your caps confuse me and its about half of what you need to say, I think. I like 'the Good Old Desk' but havent a clue what it pertains to. I understand that this is a point where life changed, or something changed. I like everything about vs 3. Its simple and choppy, but I have total clarity to add to the meaning. I just laughed and laughed over poor Harry's Coconut/Lime head! I suppose that shows a lack of compassion on my part, but it is cleverly written and humorous! Again I am confused by the Caps but perhaps they are important to you. Still, it is easy to see Harrys predictament here. Now could Skeeter be of the third generation? And 'me' isnt very clear in that first line of the last verse. Instead of tieing things together you've woven a new thread! There is an irony here. The stages of abuse and the reaction is an underlying theme for something not mentioned. And your words make me think that perhaps all is well after all. Like a whole lot of mixed-up feelings being expressed one at a time. I'm glad you found the middle! Try a rewrite? ~smiles~ Ellen
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