This Poem was Submitted By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2014-01-06 14:22:00 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Cheryl Said This was ok

When the winds tell me To turn around Take notice now To the smoke signals that still seek you To the rainbows that still hold such promise To the bird speak that you seem to underestand To the perfect mistakes To the impossible faith Daring the dreams that only you can dream

Copyright © January 2014 Joe Gustin

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2014-01-24 11:26:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Joe, don't know about Cheryl; I do know the simple poem is cogent- and look at what has been lost, regardless, or what one has- in perpetuity. This is the sort of poem that makes its way into compilations, and is read a thousand times over for those in love or the heartbroken. It is a rare poem that speaks succinctly to both subsets of love. I enjoyed the piece, read it several times, and will read it again. It made me feel good. The only earthshattering images are of the heart and soul. That suites me fine. I wouldn’t change a word.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2014-01-16 14:44:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This is a very good poem but I wonder why you chose to use the word "To" when eliminating them would make just as well a good piece if not better? I'm not sure who Cheryl is - but the title is catchy. This is just my personal opinion but I would make the following changes - to tighten up your poem - and not use the word dream twice in the ending. When the winds tell me to turn around take notice now; smoke signals that still seek you rainbows that still hold such promise the birds speak and you seem to understand the perfect mistakes impossible faith Daring the dreams that only you can see...? In any case I hope that you didn't mind me playing with it a little - You have more words for poems right now than I do - blessings, Deni
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