This Poem was Submitted By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2016-09-05 13:47:32 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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If I were the wind

If I were the wind I would play in your hair  all day If I were the sun I would rise only to illuminate your face. As stars I would dust your shoulders your eyes As a snowflake I would sacrifice myself to the warmth  of your flesh

Copyright © September 2016 Joe Gustin

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2016-09-24 09:23:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Joe- Indeed, I did with this piece; Play in her hair, brighten her face, look with wonder into her eyes, serve the warmth of her skin- This is a poem of candidacy, of the eyes through the soul. I know the feelings and re-felt them in your words. Your so few words fill volumes of romantic poetry. As a snowflake- the ubiquitous definition of singularity, taking on another state, changing, for the love of the woman. Brilliant! Thanks for my morning Joe, you and Lora hit me with your best shots!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ashni Irey On Date: 2016-09-13 11:43:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Is this a resubmission? I still love this poem. I don't see anything that will need to change. The last line is still my favourite!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2016-09-10 12:17:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Joe this is so delicious...wonderful images...a feeling of personification perhaps for the elements and their powers/abilities... I really like what you've done here, the wistfulness, the devotion and depth of feeling, and then your close ties it all up neatly. A very enjoyable read, thank you for sharing. Lora
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