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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Ashni Irey has given on The Poetic Link.
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Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!Displaying Critiques 1 to 50 out of 69 Total Critiques.
|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by Ashni Irey||Critique Date|
|Transending Celebration||DeniMari Z.||I am so sorry to hear of your health issues. Alarmed to hear of the TIA. I pray things get better for you soon. I was waiting for this site to make some format changes to help with the submissions and critique, as I'm sure others were, so apologies for not commenting earlier. Your poem is sad, needless to say. Your note explained everything. The circle is never really broken. Demise .. not now. PS What do you think of President Trump's hair? :P I love you dearly.||2017-03-12 12:22:03|
|Wrong Way on a One Way Street||Michael Bird||You've penned a very heartfelt and touching piece in the memory of someone so loved and dear. I can feel your pain in every verse all the way. I am so sorry for your loss and hope and pray that you find some solace in sharing this beautiful poem with us. God bless!||2016-12-27 10:53:00|
|A Poem||Joe Gustin||Some days are shit days and a poem like this just goes to show how much love and beauty there is in the world. To be cared for by someone who would see every escape route out of that sad moment .. to see through the nothingness, the saddles of the wind.. just like flying away on a magic carpet. And the ultimate satisfaction - a scratch for every itch.. You've captured it perfectly. You put a smile on my face today. Hope your Christmas was wonderful.||2016-12-27 10:49:37|
|All I Know||Joe Gustin||Every time I think you cannot top a love poem, you come up with words put together like this that can really wake a person to the humility in your soul that allows you to express yourself in such an open and honest way. Then I wonder if you're a romantic or a player ..||2016-12-11 04:08:19|
|Quite A Bright Show||DeniMari Z.||Excellently crafted words that gently hold the reader's hand and leads one into a magical winterland of breathtaking colors in the sky and the cool and peace of a more quiet time of year. I love the mention of the deer herd at the very end. There was already happiness in the view around and to see this gathering would have indeed brought a feeling of marvel of something more divine .. great surprise. If you really witnessed this, you are truly blessed. Love you!||2016-11-23 09:46:02|
|Here I AM||Joe Gustin||Joe, this is maybe a simpler poem which provokes little imagination for the reader. Your others are way way better. I think also the entry of words in different lines on the last stanza the way they are take away the depth in the meaning while reading. I feel a melancholy which I think was the point of this write. You are describing the darkness before the light. Somehow, I feel this does not quite reach the standard of your other poems. And your other poems - especially your love poems - are some of the most passionate and soulful descriptions I've read. Please forgive this critique.||2016-11-23 09:40:06|
|Allow Me||Joe Gustin||Nice! A rhyming poem from you is unusual. I love this! Every stanza is so perfectly worded and the imagery is astounding. I think this is one of your more carefully crafted poems and the effort is very much appreciated. Keep 'em coming and "Allow Me" the pleasure of reading more! :)||2016-11-23 09:30:01|
|Come Back.||Joe Gustin||I think you have written enough poems about this woman to have us all go looking for her. The poems like stones/guides to bring her back "home" reminded me of Hansel and Gretel in the woods. Makes me wonder if she on her way to the witch's candy house? What I like most about your poems is that they are so simply worded.. so easy to read that one cannot resist being drifted into a dream.||2016-11-23 09:27:06|
|Autumn Tambourines||DeniMari Z.||Such a lovely peace-inducing poem from you, Deni. I can see and hear the leaves shaking on the trees like the movement of tambourine bells. Really a very lovely and original phrase that is the very essence of this write. The imagery is quite lasting.||2016-11-23 09:19:22|
|While Drinking Asunder||Joe Gustin||Gorgeous descriptions in the third stanza. I'm sure you meant more when you are referring to a woman's pit and pyramid(s). Made me laugh. Why asunder? I had to look up that word. :| Nice poetry.||2016-11-12 09:35:51|
|I Only Have Heaven||Joe Gustin||SO beautiful! Last stanza is gold! This poem is so magical in that every line is surrendering your soul and everything that has mesmerized it all to this one person. Simple words put together to capture this little 30-second movie. Even Time had to yield. I love this!||2016-10-25 22:19:48|
|Her||Joe Gustin||Another very gently flowing poem from you.. I will never cease to tilt my head at the screen when I read some expressions you use to describe your love/appreciation of someone/something. Only one comment - you've said then so often - I believe it's than?||2016-10-23 11:30:57|
|Butterflies||Joe Gustin||All the little things you wish have been momentarily fulfilled through the words in this poem. Every line is meaningful and so beautifully composed. The thought of a butterfly being able to sing is surreal.||2016-09-27 13:58:52|
|holocaust||Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.||Such events are an interesting study on hindsight. I have watched several documentaries on the holocaust where the people giving orders, opening gates, killing, burying have all done so with not much thought (dare I say, some enthusiasm, in some cases). The movie "The Reader" presents such the thoughts of such a person. They live in a grey area - the area of moral ambiguity - after the event. While it was happening, they didn't think that their actions would be scrutinized or judged in this lifetime. It was "just a job" - pushing a button. Comparing with what is happening today - a similar holocaust - the killing of animals in the factory farming setup, the planned murder of the environment, the slow death of rainforests and other habitats.. Do people really think about the consequences of their actions? Do shareholders think much about how their greed and demands affect unemployment and the economy? When we choose to buy or throw out plastic, do we think about where they go afterwards? So easy to sit back and deny responsibility. I love the accusation and shame and guilt that every human will go through upon reading this poem. It certainly made me think about a lot of things. Thanks for sharing!||2016-09-15 10:10:04|
|They Come Back To Visit||DeniMari Z.||Deni, this is one of your best. I'm so sorry for your loss. You've found a very different way to narrate such an incident and the feelings of hurt that one would live with after. why you were chosen to leave and why I was chosen to live.. that question could repeat in one's head forever.||2016-09-14 11:17:07|
|Night's Magic||Lora Silvey||Night's magic lingers only with the help of a poet. The surreal imagery you provoke with your way with words have no comparison.||2016-09-13 23:31:47|
|Behind the Curtain||Mark Steven Scheffer||Really strong and appropriate choice of words for a topic that stirs up much debate everywhere. I don't live in the US, but the US elections are a matter of big discussion wherever one may go. Catholic Kaine, where are your babies? You referring to Tim Kaine? Very deep and poetic expressions in every passage.||2016-09-13 23:18:10|
|Morning Scent||Lora Silvey||On reading this, I am immediately transported to the very moment you describe. I can smell the coffee, the morning air out my window, in my nose, among other things. All the colours you describe are so warm and subtle, and so real. Your choice of words to capture something we all see everyday is commendable. These moments are treasures only if we see them as such. Lovely work.||2016-09-13 12:30:31|
|If I were the wind||Joe Gustin||Is this a resubmission? I still love this poem. I don't see anything that will need to change. The last line is still my favourite!||2016-09-13 11:43:59|
|ENCHANTING SKY||Paul H. Roefs||I'm sure you already know that the last word ended up a typo. Otherwise, gentle descriptions of the usual, but abound with hope of a brighter tomorrow.||2016-09-03 08:41:46|
|Woe Will Not Win||DeniMari Z.||Such a beautifully expressed poem about pain. I think what I liked the most about this is the poet facing every rainy night with an umbrella. I love the clarity of choice in that most people who suffer have gotten used to it, or rather, repeatedly forgive the cause of the pain and go back to it intentionally, often stronger.. and dare I say.. expecting it to stop or change in some way? Love you always, Deni. Ash||2016-09-03 08:36:48|
|I Can't Believe||Joe Gustin||Oh my! So smitten with the caller that you can't help yourself to the "siren". What would the woman you wrote this about say? :) Nothing to add .. simple and easy read that brings a smile to anyone's face.||2016-09-03 08:23:36|
|If I were the wind||Joe Gustin||Every line is beautiful! A woman should be SO lucky to have someone like you write such beautiful words about her. I wonder.. do the ladies you write about ever get to read your poems? The snowflake passage is my favourite. It made me tremble a little.||2015-11-29 03:50:12|
|Sweet Mysteries||Wanda S. Thibodeaux||How lovely to be in the arms of someone who inspires such poetry in you.. Very easy read. I wonder why you chose to write this as a couple instead of a shorter line free-verse structure. Perhaps something to explore?||2015-11-24 05:03:57|
|Masquerade||Joe Gustin||I read this a few days ago and had to think about how much it meant before I could critique. Murderers masquerading as soldiers indeed! I couldn't agree more. That's about all I see in the news. It's become that way, this world we live in. Some people with a different point of view choose to make their voice heard only through some form of aggression, instead of striving for change and setting an example of themselves through perseverance and social conduct. Everyone wants change and they want it immediately. Working hard, waiting.. those things take time.. and who has time, right? p.s. I get the intensity of emotion conveyed, but "dumb ass" is not very poetic! :)||2015-11-24 04:54:37|
|A Soldier.||kevin Dunn||Very simple poem with a strong message that doesn't show till the last line. I don't see that you need the period at the end of "dear" in the third quatrain. With all the goings-on in the world at the moment, I feel this message needs to be in everyone's mind. Truly, so easy for those who enjoy freedom on their living room couch to forget what allows them that luxury.||2015-11-24 04:35:27|
|Inspired Agreement||DeniMari Z.||I see beautiful colours in my mind's eyes upon reading this. Every shade of blue you described would look so beautiful together in a painting.||2015-11-24 04:28:43|
|Where||Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.||Cry, if your God keeps you alone Cry, if your God wants you alone and yet I am here where I am supposed to be.. So many lines here that touch the depths of a soul burdened by grief.. So many actions we can take responsibility for, and still more that are not in our control. How much can one cry? Is that how poets came to be?||2015-11-20 09:11:55|
|haiku 31||Wanda S. Thibodeaux||Simple words to describe a perfect evening.. I read up a little bit to understand haiku structures after you told me they aren't meant to have a title. Looks like they have very specific rules about how many syllables fall on each line, etc. Since this is haiku 31, I went to your poem list to read the other 30.. where are they? Look forward to reading more!||2015-11-20 02:08:03|
|Hummingbird||Joe Gustin||Have you just met someone? Lines are so romantic. A night flower viewing the moon is SO delicately put. Love it. :)||2015-11-19 07:19:45|
|STUTTERING JIM HEDGEHOG OF WW2.||kevin Dunn||Long story short, indeed! You weave interesting tales all the time! Bravo! PS I liked the butterfly joke. :P||2015-11-19 07:11:19|
|Anchored By Old Dirty Chains||DeniMari Z.||There's so much emotion here. Some people can be so hard and cruel and still not know it. They say a few words and get back to their life like nothing happened. If we dare remind them of their words, they'll only tell you to move on .. We can never win. At the same time, we never leave. And that's why the cycle continues. Because they know you won't leave. They've seen your heart. They know you will tirelessly get up and try again.. Lovely write. -Ash||2015-11-19 07:05:30|
|Apply For The Job No One Really Wants||DeniMari Z.||I had to read this over and over. Every line is meaningful and has a strong message. I would think that all of these feelings would apply even if a country was not at war. Being the change you wish to see in the world is a very challenging philosophy to live by. An interesting point - the formal schooling - because I believe this outlook can also exist in sections of society that have had access to and have been recipients of a good education. They refuse to vote, attributing their non-participation in the democratic process to the presence of no viable option (because they are so educated they know the difference!). Some people don't understand the point of embedding themselves in the system. They don't know the influence they can have or the change they can make with little steps. Very thought-provoking.. I'd like to have tea with you someday! :)||2015-11-19 06:49:55|
|haiku 32||Wanda S. Thibodeaux||Very nice.. I giggled myself.. few words to paint a lovely picture of a blue and white night. You could have perhaps had a more intriguing title to this verse? Keep writing!||2015-11-19 06:35:27|
|ONE BY THE NAME.||kevin Dunn||I always love your poems because they rhyme and have a story to tell. I either learn something new or get sucked into a different world for a few minutes and then awaken to reality .. only to find it dull. This poem works its way nicely from good times to bad. I wish there's a sequel to this only because it has a sad ending. Rather, an incomplete one? Because bad times come by and give people a chance to do something to overcome it? Great write.. but I feel left wanting more.. :)||2015-10-01 23:06:28|
|Love Waits||Joe Gustin||There is an honesty about this poem that I cannot express. So simple. The depth you see in little things is so rare. The moment you describe in the third passage is not unfamiliar to me. Keep writing! :)||2015-10-01 23:00:27|
|Nature Class||DeniMari Z.||I've read this over and over.. I love it! I think every moment from the meet to the separation is described beautifully. "imagined in love" indeed! Couldn't agree more. Keep 'em coming! :)||2015-10-01 22:43:54|
|As Summer Exhales||Joe Gustin||Very nice idea and nicely crafted into words that convey colourful thoughts. Brevity is your friend on this poem. I'm having trouble with the line "she takes in the cooler cold" .. I wonder if that could be rephrased? I'm unable to offer an alternative. Cooler and cold seem redundant in the passage. Everything else is beautifully written. Also, I'm sure you mean "palette". :)||2015-10-01 22:18:05|
|less well loved||Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.||Is this for someone you know who suffered a stroke? I remember you mentioned once that you're a doctor. Perhaps one of your patients? My sister is a doctor too, and some stories she tells me are deeply upsetting. Your words simply walk the reader through difficult but honest feelings. No soul to touch, no faith apparent indeed. There is so much more left to give to the world, so much more to love and be loved.. and to live.. less well loved.. i will remember that.||2015-09-05 00:39:40|
|Bubbles||Joe Gustin||I've played with bubbles when I was a kid. Loved making them in all sizes, making two or three stick together and see how they managed to maintain their balance and float through the air until they hit the wall and were no more. I feel this poem is remarkable in that it takes a very ordinary fun activity and puts it in a very spiritual context. So many thoughts provoked in my mind.||2015-08-25 09:28:31|
|You||Joe Gustin||Every time you smile, the sky finds a newer shade of blue.. So delicate and meaningful. Nothing more to say.||2015-08-25 08:52:00|
|I circle no world||Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.||One quatrain after another, I kept thinking boy, this line sure does think a lot of itself. I'd say the line was driveling up until the last two lines. Then somehow, it got smacked hard. Physics was one of my favourite subjects and I loved all the references to it. Very nice concept.||2015-08-25 08:46:05|
|The Wordsmith.||kevin Dunn||Superb poetry! Love the imagery and your dream. Every description was vivid! :)||2015-08-25 08:39:35|
|Jonny Clem Dummer Boy||kevin Dunn||Kevin, Thanks for putting in that note. I'd have been wondering where you got the idea for this poem. Now that I know the historical fact, I'd say that to write a poem about this young soldier, his story must have touched your heart. I actually looked him up on Wikipedia and found a picture of him at a young age. Great story and good read.||2015-08-25 08:33:00|
|Ungracious Creations||DeniMari Z.||Oh Dear Deni, I am sorry you've had to face this. Sadly, I've seen this even in my own family, although not my immediate one. It can be infuriating. However, I have also felt many times that its the greed of these "ungracious creations" that sometimes allows them to respond and survive in a fast-changing world. It's the only coping/adapting mechanism they know. Either to get something material or for a moment of emotional superiority. I too'd be damned before I allow space for this in my life. I love the last lines. I think For growth will come 'round should have been the whole line, "for" being placed alongside the 2nd last line. It took me a second to read it right. Lovely poetry.||2015-08-25 08:26:01|
|Away||Joe Gustin||Very cool and casually distancing words written about someone who knows she can have what she wants, but one you'd rather walk away from for the pain she "sways your way". 4th line really doesn't need the "just to say". Nice write.||2015-08-25 07:55:09|
|A Man Eats Chocolate||Joe Gustin||I was simply looking through the poem list and this title caught my eye and I had to read. Dude, what were you smoking when you wrote this? Fantastic scenery from a wildly imagined world twisted around our pitiful reality. I have to say I think this is one of your best. Keep writing, my friend! :)||2015-08-14 20:10:35|
|When A Lonely Wind Callls||Joe Gustin||Flowers of steel and mountains taller than fear. She understands the long division of your soul And will still be holding on when you want let go These lines and phrases are so powerful and convey so much strength in a force that we don't see or think about everyday. Embedded inbetween these lines are words that describe the soft and gentle side of that same force. Very nicely written. I've been to the mountains a few times. I know her. This poem took me there again. Thank you.||2015-08-14 19:53:21|
|THE ALTERNATIVE THEORY.||kevin Dunn||Kevin, this was very entertaining. Leaves the reader wondering if theories like this are true. The rhyme scheme was great fun and easy to read.||2015-08-14 10:38:52|
|Don't You Know||James C. Horak||James, I imagine my living room at night or a forest with lovely trees. Something eerie but so beautiful about the shadows and how they fall into each other. I love these short words from you that take me elsewhere albeit for only a moment. Wonderful.||2015-08-14 10:31:44|
|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by Ashni Irey||Critique Date|
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