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Promise of Love
Lend me your heart my darling, And I will whisper softly the breezes Of the magical words I'd kept langsyne. I will give to you the roses that bring The perfume of sweet embrace, Hidden in Shakespeare's promises. Out of the darkness of the night, I will let the moon of my solar system Shine and illuminate your perfect beauty, And you will become my only star, Glistening in my constellation. Verses I will write for you, So that when you read the glowing words, I could smell the scent of the lilacs Coming out from your mouth. Eros will then wake up from his deific repose, And I will bestow to you the amulet of love That would cling us to the horizon of forever. Let me embrace you... And kiss you... Amid this Elysian daylight As I give you this promise of love.
Hope you get the pattern, L O V E
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-29 17:40:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hey, it's an acrostic poem! I like this new thing I have discovered, and yours is well done as a variation on the form. I am seeing again a pattern of favorite references- Eros, Elysium, and dieties of all sorts. It's almost expected now. Hoaving said that, I am sure I have similar repeated phrases, and certainly I can see where your focus is. It's excellent to see such creative idealism. I am also an idealist at heart, and find even repetitive references to this sort of thing fascinating. Especially when it's so well done as you show here, and throughout your work. The way the devotion is phrased in this work is quite striking and imaginative. I apologize if this poem's critique isn't as specific to this poem as it might be, but I am reviewing all of your poetry at almost one sitting, so patterns I am bound to pick up on. Thanks, REEG!
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