Regis L Chapman's E-Mail Address: bikecoach@mac.com
Regis's Personal Web Page or Favorite Web Page: http://www.silentmotionyoga.org


Regis L Chapman's Profile:
Hi, I am a complex person with many different things I do regularly. Some of these include: I was once a devoted yoga student, at an ashram, and still hang about there a fair bit. Being a vegan has helped me poetry wise as well, since I feel clearer in my thinking. I am an elite cycling coach with 5 National Team members and a couple of pros I coach. I play table tennis competitively in my area, and have been fairly challenged by this sport. I work at Apple Computer, and listen to lots of progressive metal music- in which there is a fair bit of good poetry, IMHO. I have been scammed by Poetry.com, although ironically, it was with the sugar candy coated emails I received from them really boosted my confidence, and I even bought a book from them. It was after I recieved the book that I realized what was going on, and when I asked about being nominated for Poet Of The Year- they said I could only win if I went to the convention and paid all that money. I was a dummy about it, but still I kept posting on there, as I didn't know other sites that didn't seem to have super-specific criteria for poems- like a site that don't accept poems that rhyme is one good example of this. I WAS a devotee at an "ashram" in Orangevale, CA and a real ashram with a insane leader in Grass Valley in the Sivananda tradition. It's a hard and rewarding life, but inspiring, and much of my work comes from things I have learned while I was there. There ended up being far too many restrictions and eventually mental and physical abuse from the teacher there. Having said that, I am still quite convinced that the teachings themselves are far beyond the selfish and distorted ideals of Swami Sitaramananda. I consider my guru to be Swami Vishnu-devananda and not her. I now live at the Shinneyboo Creek Cabin Resort near Truckee, CA, about an hour's drive from the Sivananda Ashram Yoga Farm where I lived for three years.

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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Regis L Chapman has given on The Poetic Link.
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Displaying Critiques 1 to 50 out of 153 Total Critiques.
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Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by Regis L ChapmanCritique Date
WhistleKenneth R. PattonWhat a throwback sort of 1950's black and white feeling little poem. I felt somehow that I was on the set with Jimmy Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life. I am not sure why, but this sort of poem is so endearing and wonderful. I have no critique to match the light heart I have after reading it. Thanks, Regis2009-01-18 20:36:32
Days of grey...Lynda G SmithAh what a gorgeous celebration of the English tradition of tea and toddy. I think your expression of it is the quintessence of the practice and I imagine you somehow in a dress with endless ruffles and lace with a white frilly tablecloth and doilies everywhere! The natural aspects you speak of are woven so nicely throughout, they seem to be just a part of the ingestion of the food and the spacious atmosphere, and where one begins the next ends. Very well done poet! Om, Regis2008-07-28 15:59:07
UnderstandingThomas H. SmihulaWhat an opposite of your previous poem I critiqued, which was so in the moment, and yet uses the same structure. Since it's not for critique, I will merely praise it for it's wistful and hopeful message, which is comforting for me also in the way I think you meant it. Om, Regis2008-07-28 15:55:43
The Beauty Of ExistenceDellena RovitoHard not to smile at this poem. How very sunny and happy of you to share this impulse of words with us. Again, you strike me with your ability to be brief- alas, I am far too wordy! It's like a little piece of candy in words for a spring and summer's day. You ask many questions here, yet the answers are brightly implied also in my mind. In fact, when I first read this, I didn't even see the questions (like in the movie The Matrix: "I don't even see the code anymore, I see blonde brunette, redhead"), I only saw the answers they implied. Surpassingly beautiful work. Om, Regis2008-07-28 15:53:29
Blood Melts Like IceDeniMari Z.Unfortunately, this experience you detail is all to familiar (funny, that word) to this poet. It's interesting to read this now, as I have entered into an experience which after so many years is shifting my awareness of these hurts into something much more useful to me now. I have written about my hurts in some poems about my father and mother posted here, and the aching expressed there has always been open for a solution, a way out of the polarization of thought that leads us to what you are saying now (and Phil Collins says nicely in his song "I Don't Care Anymore", which I listen to when I am pissed off at someone). Still the anger and apathy needed and expressed here I have felt for too too long, so this poem hits me squarely on an emotional level also. Very raw and vulnerable thing to post here, and I appreciate that. I have recently gotten three books that have helped me to gain perspective on family dynamics I grew up with, and I noted that the source of many family ills is the use of control behaviors to mold the behavior of a family member. Understanding this now, I find it easier to grasp what is alive in the person doing the controlling and even the "punishing" behaviors when one doesn't succumb to the control placed upon you. These books are, if you are interested: Compelled to Control, The Control Freak, and If You Had Controlling Parents. Maybe I am reading too much into this, but this was helpful for me, and I wished I had read them a LONG time ago. Om, Regis2008-07-28 15:46:57
SculpturedThomas H. SmihulaAh to be present and here now. Ever we poets seek to capture such an occasion. Indeed, I wonder if we do anything else? You have done so with an excellent physical structure, that breaks off the phases of your awareness of this moment of summation in time, reaching out in a glimmer of the arc of life expressed in a very concrete and immediate fashion. The mode of expression itself lends to this feeling of ever present-ness and I LOVE to see this in poems. Well done! Om, Regis2008-07-28 15:34:40
Wanderingmarilyn terwillegerI related to this poem in a visual manner, in the way one can use Photoshop to make the experience of a photo into a sepia tone. However this tone seemed more bluish gray to me (because I am a man I don't know what color taupe is, might be brown in which case I am wrong about the color) in it's expression. I was dropped into the sea of this poem and the smells long remembered too of gulls and the quiet of pre/post-dawn on the beach. I find the restlessness of the waves of beaches an ointment for my own restlessness as well, as there is a regularity to the restlessness of waves which is like an osmotic empathy that only the sea seems to possess. Even lakes have this to some extent, yet the impact of it seems more subdued in it's effect. Om, Regis2008-07-28 15:31:19
SurgesDellena RovitoAh, even the brevity of this speaks to the title and point. Reading your work I am struck by these devices you you so well in this way. Reading this, I remembered a story about an old man who would dive into the crashing pool below a waterfall, and not be harmed. A youth saw this man and asked him how it was possible, and he said that one must relax completely and go with the flow, even such an apparently immediate and even violent flow as that of a waterfall. I think that because of the urgency and amplitude of the experience demands a presentness implied by the title, and the fact that I am an action person and like to interpret poems in terms of movement on earth too. Well done. Om, Regis2008-07-28 15:26:10
Spring Mendingsmarilyn terwillegerAs lush in word as spring is in unfoldment. I like the humanization of the trees, flowers, wind, breeze and their clothing, activities, and expressions as a mechanism to relate to them in this most precious of times. Especially the vision I had of the clouds tipping themselves like a serving of tea. Very beautiful and heartfelt work. Om, Regis2008-07-28 15:16:28
In SummaryDellena RovitoInitially, a very left brained (to this reader) opening stanzas melting by the last line of the second into the brightness of the middle described. The point of the seasons illustrated very nicely through the detachment then growth and feeling type words. And felt through the choice of words, finally fading into sadness again with a silent end lilting. Well done and described, and has a nicer subtext and feel to it that really carries the words themselves into feeling. Well done, poet. Om, Regis2008-07-28 15:12:12
Bluemarilyn terwillegerI love this poem. So bright and the colors are all what I see when I read it. Excellent internal rhymes and things like "lambent light" lilt off the tongue nicely! Palms, pallid; blue bells brushed; all good examples. I also like the reference to hands and brushes, as a way of illustrating the work on the painter himself. Also, as I read it I found I could substitute "...Vincent's sky." with "Vincent's eye." and it would also work as a way of visioning the work of the painter himself. Om, Regis2008-07-28 15:07:10
RightnessDellena RovitoVery nice and short. Yet packing a lot in a small package. Anyone who knows me knows it's my lot in life to quote "The Prophet" as my personal Oracle. I think of two parts of this mystical poem that apply here. The section on Crime and Punishment, about laying the axe to the evil tree, and the section on Giving. I hope that referring to this oft-overemphasized work doesn't diminish the impact this poem had on me. It's impact on me was enough to make me refer to my Oracle... It's interesting to me that your title and first word are polarizing, but the sentiment you echo here is anything but, therefore implying a complicity in what is being obviously protested, which is of course is true, and so this is why I find your poem quite subtle and sly in this regard. Stating the obvious up front, and then showing us how it's done as well, but subtly so you ALMOST don't notice. Well done. I find the best poetry implies what it says as well as says it. I prefer implication myself, yet that's fairly obvious from my work. Om, Regis2008-07-01 01:16:39
I'll Die Alonemarilyn terwillegerVery interesting prospect and discipline. I get fragility from this poem most of all. Interesting math, too. Most of the lines are 8 syllables and stanzas four lines each. This is violated only twice, but to interesting effect, because the first is the introduction to the death, and the second is the most hopeful line in the poem, with an extra syllable, both mentioning death, and the only lines mentioning death directly. Oddly, this struck out to me more than everything else about the poem, except the profound loneliness of it. All in all, a very disciplined, Saturnian poem, strict, sad, dark and unyielding. 8 is also the number of Saturn. It reminds me in this way to one of the greatest books on Vedic Astrology I have ever read, and the introduction to the book is one of the best statements on the value of myth I have ever read. it's called "The Greatness of Saturn". Interesting and amazing metaphysical implications to this poem, Marilyn, to my Vedic eyes and ears. Om, DurgaDas (Regis)2008-07-01 01:08:22
Fairy Springmarilyn terwillegerLike a metronome, the beat, just like I remembered your work from years past. Reading this poem, I am reminded of my hike yesterday and the butterflies flitting this way and that in the joy that is spring. I am reminded of how universal this feeling is for everyone and the energy is everywhere. One minor nit- They coax the bulbs eternal oath of blooms has a possessive voice, there for "bulb's eternal oath of blooms" would seem more appropriate here, but who is to say if you meant multiple bulbs or bulb's eternal oath. I guess it depends how you mean it. What I like to call a "full-color" poem! Beautiful. Thanks, Regis2008-06-08 17:35:53
Assume LoveKenneth R. PattonJust a perfect poem, really. Very hard for me to critique anything here. The subject is presented also maybe more poignant for me because I am dealing with learning to love someone in a long-distance relationship, and all the fears of this person who I am involved with. Sorry it's not a 'real' critique, but more commentary. Thanks, Regis2008-03-03 23:19:23
In TimeThomas H. SmihulaExcellent use of words to create the feeling of space. By the end, the feeling of time passed is palpable, yet it's fragility is maintained in the perspective. The tension and release of growing older is nicely summarized in an un-obvious manner in the last stanzas. Well done. Thanks, Regis2008-03-03 23:15:41
JOHN ISMark D. KilburnExtremely nice in tone and form. Profound and boundary-crossing also. It is a real man-love which is being expressed here, and in that it is very, very rare. To have it done so revealingly and honestly, with nary a hesitation in the love being expressed is just beautiful. In that sense it is to these kinds of proclamations almost gay in expression. I mean this in both ways one could take that- both the homosexual way, and the happy, light meaning also. By this I mean to say that homosexuals parade their love in ways which offend many because of their thoughtlessness (or brashness, depending) in stepping across the boundaries had by the common. This poem does boundary crossing, but you get no sense of sexuality whatsoever, and so clearly is it just loving admiration and gratitude, pure and simple. Still, the effect of stepping over this boundary for me is the defining characteristic of this poem. Only really mature friendship could so clearly and fearlessly proclaim such a beautiful thing. Indeed I would say that this poem is the essence felt by all men with their brothers, be them genetic or otherwise- but as stated here, it is not possible to say such a thing in any manner but the most oblique possible. I would go so far as to say that another 'gay' aspect of this poem would be only stated in terms of my observances of women's interactions with each other. The first part of the poem is filled with observances that feel like those of young girls with their favorite movie actresses. To know that this feeling is hiding under the man you are and layers of the years, is for me another touching aspect of this poem.2007-12-28 22:35:40
DamnJohn DeanExcellent rhyming and tibre here. It's a vibrant poem, full of the emotion and tension between soul and ego as well as the constant constrictions of trying to describe the indescribable, which is every poet's curse. Well done. REEG!2005-03-08 20:57:16
A Captive Birdmarilyn terwillegerPlaintive is the word I think of most here. I felt this way before I devoted myself to the spiritual life- and it was only then I saw it was myself holding down myself. My hopes spring as eternal for this poet's object (themselves?) as they do for myself and everyone. Good luck to you- right next to that beating heart lay your hope. REEG!2005-03-08 20:55:44
For Heroes Who Now Lie AsleepSean DonaghyThis brought up for me the fact of war and also the fact of transactional thinking. What I mean is the idea that a life is supposed to have bought the writer or reader or citizen something. This was in fact a choice that individual made, with the knowledge of what they were doing. Sure, they are brainwashed- but we all are. Some of this means death, but this was a life and death they chose. I have respect for that, if nothing else, of that madness- which you very aptly named here. It's good to remember their lives, if only to make a difference for ourselves and the ones we know. Thanks, REEG!2005-03-08 20:53:27
Paper ScattersJacob W RobertsThis seems like a journalist/poet's personal diary to me. I like the confluence of the two different viewpoints, as it's done so well, taking a bit from one and then the other. It's like test flights around fancy and back to press pen to paper as an analogue for reality itself. The crafting of this tale is quite subtle, but nonethless effective. I just love it. I also like the trips outside to see the direction one is heading in, like a mini-narrative, keeping both us the reader and the character on track. I couldn't imagine a better way of describing the creative process itself. Great work. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-10 15:30:08
MY BESTMichael N. FallisWhat an interesting and paradoxical work this is. Extremely sad right until the end, I find it a representation of most hard bike rides I have done, and nearly every bike race I ever did also. I found much in myself through these apparent failures, so in the end, as with this work, it was my best. Super good work. I have no critique of this work, as it's great as it is. I just noticed your poetry.com note, and I am glad you are here instead of there now. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-09 19:42:36
The Desert Windsheryl ann minterI like this very visual poem. It's so visual in fact, it feels almost like a word painting. I found myself imagining colors and so forth. Much of this is due to the excellent references like cows being blankets, painted ponies, and clay painted sand. It's almost like the poem was written from the perspective of a passing breeze blowing through and deigned to notice the items below it. I have no reason for this, but the ghostly writer seems complete disconnected from the scene, like someone watching something from a train they've been on too long- yet longing for the connection they no longer feel. There is also a very large variety of imagery and that seems to set the tone for the piece, and where the poet wants our attention to be- up close (the candle line) or slipping through mountains. Wonderfully done. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-09 15:27:06
EternalThomas H. SmihulaI have always said that poems on TPL come in sections. It's clear that the topic du month is how cyclical life is. It's a spring and summer topic, I think. That said, I would look for mystery here. It's not clear to me that the poet found any mystery in the observed. It's a very dispassionate look at this, and quite simple in it's unfolding. I would like to hear more how the poet connected to these observations in the work. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-08 16:11:41
Prima materiaMark Andrew HislopI really like this work, and have put it in my voting list. I like the perspective given on parenthood. It's all the emotions that you would expect from parenthood- all the anxiety and hopefulness about the child and their capabilities. The title is a bit of an abstraction for me. As I read more through it, I realized that the whole thing really is also. As such, it's excellently done. I imagine it's hard to gain this sort of distance enough to say these things. I wonder about the first word of this poem though. Inferior. If you put onto the kid, that doesn't make sense except from a military perspective, and even that's appropriate in some ways for parenting. If you put it onto the parent, then I can make more sense of the ending, and therefore I see the brilliance of this work supported on both ends. There are so many unique turns of phrase here, I am just speechless about it. Truly wonderful stuff. I like it better than I can say in a critique. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-04 13:39:34
The Scar the Wing LeavesG. Donald CribbsThis is a rare work which really contains some astonishingly profound lines throughout. In a way it feels both cohesive and disjointed at once. It's hard for me to break down this poem, as the whole thing blows me away. Super good job. Too good really for me to express any critique at all. One of my favorites all time on TPL. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-03 18:38:58
AshesRick BarnesAgain I have a reason to think of poems running together one after the other on a similar topic. The last poem I critiqued was also about a death theme. This is one which keep the reader apart from the actual aspect of death- realting to it more like and treats the very real physicality described like a concept piece, quite abstract in it's description. Maybe that was the author's intent- to describe the events unfolding in a cold way to emphasize the conclusion. Great work. Still there is a mention of a first person once to let you know the author is relating a subject somehow close to him, but maybe afraid of? Thanks, REEG!2004-06-03 18:30:05
The Death of a PoetG. Donald CribbsAn emotional wrenching work is presented here with some courage apparent. It's a high compliment to you the author that you can make such a nice work from something you were so close to. All the deaths in my family have been kept from me really addressing them in any real way, much less attempting to save the person there. It's an utter amazement to me that you can even tap into that and produce such a quality work from it. While clearly inspired by the previous work, it's got it's own very tactile life to make. I like also the reference to sleep- I have heard it referred to as "the little death". This fits nicely in this work. I wonder if the desperation aspect of this poem was not really on the part of the dying, but rather on the part of the living trying to save her life. Great work. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-03 18:07:59
The Defining MomentThomas Edward WrightThis is a thesaurus tour de force! Well done, and frankly I am pretty much in awe. I like that you incorporated some sentiments of your odd juxtaposition in a different language. It's also a super descriptive of the main heavy character in this, and tells you a bit more about her with each line. The word fuliginous is a very visceral word for some reason to me. It makes sense in the context of the Hawaiian people, as I know everything I owned was tinged with red after I came back from Kauai with the soil. I don't know if the other islands are like that. For me, cigarette smoking is the most vile thing in existence, and the description of this person doesn't jibe with my experience of those people, but I have met people like this woman you describe right in my own apartment complex. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-03 17:25:07
For Whom The Young Bird SingsThomas Edward WrightI have a place like this I used to go to for this sort of retreat into nature. I would feel surrounded and encompassed, surpassed even by these natural things. It's too bad that's such a change for us. I remember when I was riding across America I felt much more at home with it, at one with it. My place was a large stand of enormous oak trees near a river by where I used to live. There were also lots of squirrels there, and I would meditate there. Once a huge hawk came and walked around right in front of me for about 10 minutes during this quiet time- not eating, just staring and sharing it with me, as you have shared this work with me. Great stuff. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-03 13:40:38
HidingNancy Anne KorbI like it a lot, and I see that it's powerful and compact and quite profound in it's simple direct meanings. As for the hidden meanings I can only guess. It's almost like an instruction manual for a large overview of life, or a mission statement for a student at the end. It's hopeful near the end, which is almost a proverb for fiction of any kind, but nonetheless feels good to resolve whatever secrets are brought up at the end. At the same time, some hints about secrets are always tantalizing, so I am not sure what is meant from those, but hopefully the reply will point some of this out for me. Thanks, REEG! 2004-06-03 13:15:58
Apology to my readersMark Andrew HislopWell, critiquing this work seems superfluous somehow, but here goes. It's hard to know whose massive ego we are discussing here- mine, yours, or the collective poised to read your work at TPL? Someone else entirely? Since you describe yourself in your profile as a lunatic, maybe we are talking about some imaginary friend...? It's hard to know if you are flipping us all off, flipping yourself off, or you imaginary friends here, but the anger and rankness of the thing comes across more or less purely. If that was you aim then you achieved it excellently, but maybe you were talking about your breakfast, I don't know. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-03 12:24:20
Song of PraiseMark Andrew HislopI haven't read (or even heard of) Charles Churchill until I read this work- I will have to look into it a bit. Thanks for that. It's an odd poem, that's for sure. I have never seen one which spent so much time on only 2 words. Clearly everything rhymes with everything else, making this the single most excessively rhyming poem I have ever read! There are internal, line-ending and everything in between! Heh. On the flip side of my levity about this, it seems a serious subject, but the paradoxical negatives are quite a head full, and for me make this poem a bit confusing, even upon successive reads. The poem itself is also an antidote to any critique I might make, so I have been careful to be as neutral as possible in my estimation of it to avoid offending. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-02 19:30:05
Ocean City WeekendEdwin John KrizekWow. Superlative snapshots in each of the three sections. Taken together they make a good amount of sense, especially just after the long weekend, as the three days make sense to me in that way also, but I understand this was written not about the Memorial Day weekend. The first section hit me the most. Really ingenious turns of phrase. Even though I understand the physical aspect of seeing vague shapes in the fog, the fog in this case seems both physical and metaphorical at once, and it's in the metaphorical sense that it's so poignant. The second section I missed the point of completely, leaving me guessing about what game- football or what? Still the echoes of it for are sort of a guys game in which you all got full of testoterone moxie and went too far with it. That's the best I can gather from it. I like the 3rd section, as it makes clear the other 2 parts as well. So I feel this poem a Part 1=Past, Part 2= Shared Pain, Part 3=Hope. A nice cycle and one that's appropriate for spring and renewal. Also for some reason I think of the NorthEast, and the relationship that the men had in Good Will Hunting. Great job. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-02 18:16:48
Freeway LemonsJillian K SorensonWow. That's eerie. I felt like while I was reading this poem that all my old girlfriends had gotten together and written a poem about me. Eek! it's a portrait that really shines for me on the other side of the wall of distance I tend to erect for myself. I think it's the thing that's my worst trait, and one I have to constantly monitor to stay in a caring mode, but yet have enough distance to be rational. Super good work in the emotional department, and the physical references really touch on the stinging touch of lemon juice in the wounds of the heart that are clear from this work. It's written in a very present tense for the most part and then only at the end do we know it's a memory. Interesting that my last reviewed poem was also about loss. I have commented in other recently critiqued works how these often come in 2's and 3's as I go along. I never fail to be amazed about this. Great job. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-02 18:09:19
The deep divideMark Andrew HislopI like the wandering physical characterization given by the spacing. It lends itself to the subject quite well. Loss cuts deep when we are attached to things. This poem has brought up for me thoughts of my own relationships past and present, along with my own attitude towards them. I also see in this poem the extreme feelings that come with attachments to things and people. It's seen in the laughter pointed out at the beginning of the work that I am sure you don't feel, but something must stem the tide of negative feelings which I am sure are overwhelming. I am always cautioned against these attachments by my wisest counselors, and yet manage to ignore consistently to my peril. I don't mean not caring, but not having expectations of things and people- not be attached to circumstances. I certainly am not trying to be insensitive, but rather to show a way out of this. This could have been written years before now, and all I am saying could be old news, but it's what it brought up for me, and clearly that's a good poem that can do this. I also grieve a bit for the loss of my spiritual emphasis in my life, so I guess that's an interesting thing to think about in the context of someone else's loss. This line is excellent: Rub the panel                off this                      dull suburban lottery of love gold Great emotional work. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-02 18:03:39
LOVEhousam majid jarrarIt's a beautiful poem with much to offer the reader. The several mispellings I am sure you will have pointed out to you on every other critique, so I won't go into that. Love is a big topic, and several rather large categories of things which can be pointed out within it. You choose some rather excellent points within that. Above all the work seems to resonate with the largeness and timelessness of the subject. This is as it should be. The last stanza is meant to be the climax of the tone of the poem, but I disagree with it's premise in that I know that each individual CAN comprehend their own loving nature. I think that this is more important to love everyone than to love just someone. Loving someone can result in many bad roads along with the good. I think that loving everyone and most of all yourself truly is the most important. Still, it's your poem and you can saw whatever you want, just telling you what came up for me during the work. The poem is a bit stop and start for me, without really finding a rhythm after the first few lines. The last stanza catches back the rhythm that was lost, but it seems like this could be done a bit better. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-02 17:56:27
Summer RainEdwin John KrizekAnother spring poem that brings with it the hope of life and renewal for the character in the poem or the poet themselves. It's nice to read about these seasonal wishes, as we all can relate to them in these days. Don't you wish that every day could be a spring day? I know it hanged for us here on Memorial Day and began getting unbearably hot like it does here in the summer right on time. This reminds me of some of the passages from Lord of The Rings books about Fangorn forest. Not the part in the movie, as that didn't describe it properly. Great job with the very tactile aspect of the descriptions. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-02 17:46:54
To my unborn motherMark Andrew HislopWow, this one packs a lot of punch in a small rhyming package. Well done! The structure suits the ending especially well with it's exception and highly emotional paradox complete. Besides the ending, which is great, my favorite line is: "In freshest swaddling clothes of our regard". I like the idea of concepts clothing us in some physical sense. Not many use this device as effectively as you do here. It seems every line is replete with a paradoxical anthem or replacing a positive where a negative is usually found. Super good work. All this works so well with the topic, but then it's not easy to see the topic through this- on it's face could be talking about a newborn child, or oneself, or the mother and intimate partner. You can get any of those out of this- or even metaphorical mothers- like the Earth or physical space itself. Great job to pack all in there. Wish I wrote it. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-02 14:28:57
PhotographEdwin John KrizekFor me, this touches a spot in me from the other side of the mirror. In my relationships, I tend to retreat away like the woman in this work is clearly doing. This is my coping mechanism, developed at a young age to protect me from the slings and arrows of my mother's capriciousness. So in that I feel the opposite you present here considerably. Do we really ever know anyone that well? I think so, but then not. To each of us there are so many unexplained depths, it's hard to fathom them all. Great emotional work. Plainly, even starkly written, it makes it point simply and without fanfare, but it's most effective through that device. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-02 12:00:26
The Language of the AngelsValene L JohnsonI find it an interesting work. The work has this very long line- the longest in it- to present a very human feeling. This is interesting for it's contrast to the baseness of the emotion, along with the physical contrasts inherent. So it's called out as clearly as a clarion and it's something I heard quite a bit when I was moving into the spiritual life. A call from all and sundry who were threatened by the fact that I might be leaving them behind- when in fact all I wanted to do was realize the reality that I encompassed them, and they me. There are many aspects of this separation anxiety had by the sky in this work that I think of. This is what for me makes the work- really brilliant. Everything else is as it should be- all purity and light. The sky contains all this, and yet it's the one which is asking the question. This sort of paradox is typical of the demands asked of you by such a life. You display an intuition about the spirituality which I realize we all possess, but few can really come up with such an evolved sense of it as you have done. Super job. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-02 00:07:08
Sisyphus' Epistle or The Humanist's PunishmentEdwin John KrizekAn interesting and quite lyrical poem, quite contrasted with the general topic at hand. I hadn't know anything about Albert Camus- I looked him up, so it's clear that many of the points you may make in reference to him I won't follow, but clearly the existentialist viewpoint is evident here, as the paradox of existential and referential moralities are evident here. No more so in the last lines of the work. It's interesting that this movement was so very French in it's flavor. While later it would be refined by the Viktor Frankl's of the world- your work reminded me a bit of France or a European's balanced way of seeing their social responsibilities. This is echoed in the middle portion of your work, now that I look at it. I will need to take a look at this Nobel prize winner more in the future. Thanks for the heads up. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-01 23:57:14
there was another treezen sutherlandThis is a great work in simply the premise. All other profundity found here is rooted in this, and springs out like an epiphany moderated. I would like to think that many Christians could look at this and have a perspective change. I am not sure about your use of "able" here. It would not be beyond any of us to use this as poetic license, but it sounds rather like you meant "Abel" in the biblical context. The title really sets the stage nicely, and summarizes both the beginning and the end of the classic tale, as well as providing the context change for the view you seek to point out. Super well done, REEG!2004-06-01 23:47:59
untitled - from Nov 2003Cara-Mae D. HackettIt's not entirely unhopeful piece, but sure reeks with the challenges of the modern life. I think of Pink Elephants in Disney cartoons and Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4. I like to think of work like this as a bit of a bitter pill I needed to get up before it rotted me inside. I don't know if you would agree, but that's what I think of. I agree with the sentiments in here, although I feel more hopeful mostly than the tone of this work. Still, I am not free of it without some effort. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-01 23:37:43
MorningMark Andrew HislopIt's a terse view presented by the author here. I am reminded of a Frank Miller portrait of Gotham with Batman swinging between gargoyles high above the city. I am not sure why this is, but it's sure within me. I guess it's the apparent reluctance of the character walking through these thoughts to address the morning without some chemical assistance, and the pigeons. Pigeons and cities go together for me, and even though I think of Gotham, it could be any big city, and it's denizens. With the pigeons comes the smells, sounds and characters that populate the scene for me. This is why I felt this work to be so terse. I am sure it was mainly about the morning life of you in the city, but for some reason, it seems expansive in a way that belies the perspective- until the last line. Well done, REEG!2004-06-01 23:33:14
Rainbow BluesDeniMari Z.I like the idealistic bent of this work. I also like the slightly changed emphasis in where the point of power is when compared to many works. Most work focuses on the heart or the head, and not in the hands, and this emphasis implies work, and that's a good thing. Like much of the work I read about here at TPL, it's about passing by the obvious internal compass time and time again, and being led down a different path than the one we know to be the right one. Yes, it's invisible, but as real as blood circulation. I also like the rainbow being portrayed as black and white, which is an interesting and visual way of putting the good and evil theme into there, and to display what a interesting thing it is to have the impulse, which in so many ways is quite didactic and habitual, and is not so tolerant in one sense, but quite in another. There's a lot that's said just in that simple phrase. I wish I had wrote it. Great job, especially in the closing stanza, which really ties the whole thing together. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-01 23:26:53
DawningNancy Anne KorbI like the lyrical nature of this work, and then it's not so obvious conclusion from the desperate plight of those inflicted with the negative aspects shown in the middle of the work. It reminds me much of the fantasy work "The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant" series by Stephen R. Donaldson. Much of the same wrenching emotion is contained in there, but dragged out over six 500 page books. A tough pill to swallow I can tell you, but it ends with some hope at the end of the day. Before I found TPL, I had a similar experience. I actually found TPL as I looked for scams involving Poetry.com. Hah! It's too bad they are preying on people who are generally trusting folks. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-01 22:45:24
Upon Making the Acquaintance of DeathEdwin John KrizekIt's a spiritual month here at TPL. I have never been more impressed poem to poem about how that sentiment is carried from one poet to the next as I critique along. I like the setup here with this poem. It seems quite serious and even deliberately misdirecting you to the negative. Clearly this is a represenation of temptation itself, and as such is both subtle and obvious. A nice touch. The whole of the thing is well done and has a great and punchy line at the end. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-01 22:40:08
The GuruMark Andrew HislopWow. Two excellent poems in a row, both reminding me of my foray into the spiritual life as a monk. This is exceptionally well done and thought out. It reminds me of a book by Sri Chinmoy (not my personal guru, but a great man nonetheless) which discusses the Master/Apprentice relationship as it relates to said life. Touches on all the key aspects of criticality that the guru plays for the student/aspirant. Super good job with rhyming structure, as it suits the topic quite well. Among my TPL all time favorites. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-01 22:25:28
CaprioDeniMari Z.I am very interested in where you got the term caprio from, and what inspired your use of it. I couldn't find this word anywhere on the internet that didn't have anything to do with Leonardo Di Caprio including dictionary.com. It's a pretty word and title, and seems somehow to fit the whole work, so that' what intrigues me about it. Maybe the word capricious? I was just using this in another critique, oddly enough about someone who was writing about the wind. Must be windy everywhere in the world lately... An excellent summary of the spiritual life impulse as I remember it. Great job. Thanks, REEG!2004-06-01 22:21:00
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