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This Poem was Submitted By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2003-09-13 00:08:15 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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When Small Frogs Seem to Disappear

After this morning's splash of water on my sleepy face, I spy a gold-green tree frog perched atop my folded towel. (Blink!) As I dare to grasp his damp, wriggling body in my bare hand, he stabs a small insistent snout between my clasped fingers. Once outside, I settle him safely in tender undergrowth; but thus freed he turns to me, poised as if to leap my way. Is this sticky gent a Prince I ought to kiss, perhaps still spellbound? How did this slight, grass-green guy find his way into my bath today? Perhaps he's a silent scout, sent to announce Autumn's approach, the somber season when small frogs seem to disappear at first signs of chill, and wait 'til time to wake in spring and sing. Though summer’s soon at its end, tree frogs will come to croon again.

Additional Notes:
With special thanks to Sandra K.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-07 23:12:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.46154
Joanne outstanding you made me blink, what a perfect spot for you to make the reader pause. It is like a splash in the face. Now he stays for you have given him attention and he looks forward for another encounter. Nice way to end summer. Again thanks for another outstanding poem. Tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-10-06 19:10:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.93939
What a wonderful poem and what a magical moment! I have a hidden cache of children's stories and in one of them, I have the girl who kisses the frog really pissed because she loved the little frog and wanted to be its friend and had no use whatsoever for a prince and all that posturing. But, that's my story - let me get back to yours. After this morning's splash [splash is such a great onomatopoetic word] of water on my sleepy face, I spy a gold-green tree frog perched atop my folded towel. in the bathroom! How cool! (Blink!) {GREAT} As I dare to grasp his damp, [damp/grasp =nice] wriggling body in my bare hand, he stabs a small insistent snout between [two of my][that makes it awkward - I know - but it is that old among/between conundrum which inserts its little snout in the poem for me. . Once outside, I settle him safely in tender undergrowth; but thus freed he turns to me, poised as if to leap my way. [great] Is this sticky gent a Prince I ought to kiss, perhaps still spellbound? How did this slight, grass-green guy find his way into my bath today? How indeed!!! Perhaps he's a silent scout, sent to announce Autumn's approach, the somber season when small frogs seem to disappear at first signs of chill, and wait 'til time to wake in spring and sing. lovely! Though summer’s soon at its end, tree frogs will come to croon again It would be funnier to say "croak": again but yours is much lovelier so leave it an pay me no mind. I shouldn’t be doing this right now anyway. Most amusing and lilting piece.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-10-04 12:14:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.31250
Oh Joanne , how cleaver to tie this one with with "When Trees in Fall Begin to Spill Their Colors" What a nice surprise. I didn't realize that is what you meant in your critique reply. This morning's splash of water has two meanings then. The splash of water color from Trees in Fall and the splash of water when you washed your face. Your frog must have hopped along for the ride from the trees to the towel. lol And too, the last word of Trees in Fall was green and now here we are with a gold-green tree frog on your towel. Then BLICK. I love that. This has a bounce to it. This is such a FUN piece as well as heartwarming. "As I dare to grasp his damp, wriggling body in my bare hand, he stabs a small insistent snout---nice alit and great attention getting phrase between my clasped fingers."---he want to be your pet since it's getting too chilly outside for him! and a nice warm bath is just what he would love! lol " Once outside, I settle him safely in tender undergrowth;----You obviously live in a place of much beauty. In other words NOT IN CITY! but thus freed he turns to me, poised as if to leap my way"--------This prooves even more he wants to be your pet or as s3 suggests maybe prince. "Perhaps he's a silent scout, sent to announce" Oh and I love where you are going with this. But of course! IT's fall! "Autumn's approach, the somber season --nice A aliteration followed by S alit when small frogs seem to disappear----and nice S repitition too with Autumn'S/somber/season/small/frogs/ at first signs of chill, and wait-----sign/spring/sing 'til time to wake in spring and sing."----this stanza istself sings! Nice ending rhyme with: "Though summer’s soon at its end, tree frogs will come to croon again."----this ending sticks in the readers mind The imagry again is wonderful and thats one of the things I love about your poetry. Especially your nature poetry. It puts the reader there in the situation. It is also easy to tell that you are in tune with nature. I think I'm turning into a groupy of yours. lol. Thanks for a wonderfully enjoyable read, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jane A Day On Date: 2003-10-02 14:10:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.38095
Dear Joanne, I know this great short story by who I can't remember of these two frogs living in the sinks of a campground bathroom. Your poem puts instantly back inside that story with them peeping up from the drains. I love the physical movements captured in this poem. Anyone who has ever held a frog (I have held my share) can really feel the bop bop of the frog's snout and legs. While the prince reference brings a levity to the poem, I wonder if that allusion is so much a part of our cultural that you don't have to directly call it out but simply infer it with something like-- Should I kiss him? That would seem to give you more room for language play and keep the levity. Wondering in a poem is always a great move--it poems it up-- I wonder if there is a third thing he could be after the prince and before the announcer--something uniquely from your voice. Then to autumn. I think would really turn the poem and make it glimmer fully like the jewel it is. Thanks you so much, Jane

This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-09-26 00:15:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.20000
Hi Joanne, Wow, I really like reading this Joanne! Again, another playfulness with nature…aside from the informative type of your poem here, you just never disappoint your audience with the simple truth and beauty of your surroundings. You deliver your poetry in a very simple, gentle and unique way that is very much enjoyable and readers can feel warm, light, smiling and satisfied after reading it. I don’t how you do it what I know is that your approach is very effective. Your inspiring messages are given justice by your choice of words. “After this morning's splash of water on my sleepy face, I spy a gold-green tree frog perched atop my folded towel.” --- In this simple stanza, I like the word “morning’s splash” as your ritual wash. I also enjoy the witty description of “sleepy face”. “(Blink!)” --- You probably don’t know but this simple, single, apostrophe-ed, and double-quoted word “Blink” brings a thousand visualization on that captured moment. Again, you are good on these additional imageries. I enjoyed this a lot! “As I dare to grasp his damp, wriggling body in my bare hand, he stabs a small insistent snout between my clasped fingers.” --- This made me feel uncomfortable because I’m not into slimy or rough frogs. When I read that you use your “bare hand”, this made me more uneasy. But what I like is how you present it in a very comical way, even the “snout” thing adds a simply humor. I can vividly visualize your bit clumsy situation here…still with your bath rob. :) “Once outside, I settle him safely in tender undergrowth; but thus freed he turns to me, poised as if to leap my way.” --- I like how you grant his freedom in a tender way...it is the word “settle” that calms the imageries. With your sequence storytelling, readers are also into anticipation in every surprise you bring. For me, the frog “leaping back your way” is a scary surprise! I ask myself, what will happen next? :) “Is this sticky gent a Prince I ought to kiss, perhaps still spellbound? How did this slight, grass-green guy find his way into my bath today?” --- I like how you add the “fairy tale” concept of the frog as the Prince in this stanza. But to kiss the “guy” is unbearable to witness! :) I like how you support your attempt with the line “perhaps still spellbound”. “Perhaps he's a silent scout, sent to announce” --- Here you focus your reader to adjust and be prepared on the new message you want to deliver – which I believe is now a bit serious, nostalgic and pondering. “Autumn's approach, the somber season when small frogs seem to disappear at first signs of chill, and wait 'til time to wake in spring and sing.” --- Which is about the unique and mysterious character and effects of season to nature and to our lives in general. On how the phasing of the “autumn” and “spring” are uniquely explained. On how “autumn” is perceived as the “somber season” while the “spring” as the “anticipated season of music and joy”. I also like how you get your lovely title from this stanza. Just perfect! “Though summer’s soon at its end, tree frogs will come to croon again. “ --- What a light way to end your wonderful poem. You just complete it all! Again, kudos on your fine work here Joanne! Another display of your talent here Joanne! I enjoy commenting this! I know it is not hard for you to create such a fine piece because you write with your heart and passion in poetry. It really reveals within the lines. Again, thank you for posting this for our entertainment! For me, another winner! As always, Erzahl :)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-09-21 12:41:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.10526
Joanne, I find this an amusing little piece with great visual lines. I really smiled with the "Is this sticky..." stanza. A great thought. My only stumbling was at the "but thus freed..." line. Perhaps a comma at freed or maybe, but when freed, he... Just sharing my thinking on this. Thank you for sharing this experience. It seems so real with its ending promise that life goes on. Andrea

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2003-09-17 18:48:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Joanne: I could not resist this title...as unique as your poem. I love autumn best and enjoy tree frogs altho there are not as many here as there are tree lizards. I allow them to come inside the house and live with us; they are very tiny and never grow to any notable size. I cannot begin to point to every delectable linguistic twist herein. It reminds me of a Celtic song with its internal rhymes, unforced meter, and heavier-than-usual consonant sounds. My cuppa! "After this morning's splash of water on my sleepy face, I spy a gold-green tree frog ...a wondrous line for my ears.... perched atop my folded towel. ...ditto... (Blink!) The interjection is marvelous: I picture both of you in blinks of synchronicity. The enjambment from line one to two is effective. "As I dare to grasp his damp, wriggling body in my bare hand, he stabs a small insistent snout between my clasped fingers. Once outside, I settle him safely in tender undergrowth; but thus freed, he turns to me, poised as if to leap my way." Magical imagery. I'm surprised he allowed you to pick him up so easily...obviously you can communicate with animals the way you do with humans. "Stabs an insistent snout" is a line so appealing, then you give the jump-stanza rhyme with "out". Multiple rhymes: grasp/clasp and free/me. You repeat the rhyme of snout/out with "scout" in your single line soon after. This entire poem is a symphony playing in my head...tender undergrowth...all those T sounds. "Is this sticky gent a Prince I ought to kiss, perhaps still spellbound? .....more miraculous harmony..... How did this slight, grass-green guy ...great allits... find his way into my bath today? Perhaps he's a silent scout sent to announce ....ah, the sweet whispers of sibilance.... Autumn's approach, the somber season ...allits of brilliance.... when small frogs seem to disappear at first signs of chill and wait till time to wake in spring and sing. Though summer's soon at its end, tree frogs will come to croon again." Lovely ending in keeping with a lovely poem. I love nature which you capture with your frog but being a sound person, this poem sings to me like your frog sings to you. Is/this/kiss and way/way/today and chill/till and spring/sing and croon/soon. (And two hard K's at the end!) And those are merely a few examples. I think this is a "deceptive" poem in that it appears as a simple little story about a tree frog but it represents so much more...nature always keeps her promises...little Prince will be back, same time, same place, next year. It is also synonymous with optimism, a metaphor of life itself in many ways. But the most spectacular charms here are the SOUNDS. I will go back to bed to rest but you have given me a lovely lullaby to swirl thru my brain. Thank you. Brava! Best, Nekk

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2003-09-15 15:33:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Joanne, First the title. How can someone NOT read this? It is as much a question as a statememnt. Both are beautifully expressed by the way in your prose. We,(because I travel with you in your poems), start off, hmmm... a suggestion already... damn...oh well, here goes. The writing is so gestault, here and now, happening as I read it. So-o-o-o...I was wondering if the beginning would be as much fun if read: As I slash this morning's water Upon my sleep filled face no-o-o-o-o...oh well, you get the idea. I love the narrative as happening now. Wait a sec. Let me read it again... "After this morning's splash of water on my sleepy face, I spy a gold-green tree frog perched atop my folded towel." Never mind. "(Blink!)" I LOVE THIS! Was it you or Mell or Brenda that asked about the appropriatness of parenthesis in poetry? Here is an appropriate and charming example of it's power. "As I dare to grasp his damp, wriggling body in my bare hand, he stabs a small insistent snout between my clasped fingers." His peeking out into the world from inside your gently clasped fingers is so endearing. It is as if he didn't feel you were so much intruding as it was that he just wanted to look around from this womb like enclosure. "Once outside, I settle him safely in tender undergrowth; but thus freed he turns to me, poised as if to leap my way." How like a child going forth, or one season leaving to make room for another. You never leave your theme in your writing. You weave with such flexive thread. "Is this sticky gent a Prince I ought to kiss, perhaps still spellbound? How did this slight, grass-green guy find his way into my bath today?" Ahhh..the question surfaces. To find significance in the seemingly insignificant. To know that nature is a series of succeeding clues in a circular causation where one effect leads to the next cause. "Perhaps he's a silent scout, sent to announce" This line, standing out here on it's own is a stroke of brilliance! It has that "A-HA" feel that binds the previous and the following verse together so perfectly. "Autumn's approach, the somber season when small frogs seem to disappear at first signs of chill, and wait 'til time to wake in spring and sing." Our answer, or your answer, or an answer, or...a statement about a question not asked. An observation shared. You are amazing. "Though summer’s soon at its end, tree frogs will come to croon again." And so the frog came to say "see ya next spring". And we and the frog are off again on another venture gathering strength. I'd love to illustrate this. Thanks Joanne, you give the arrival of fall such a grand introduction. Rick

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-09-15 00:26:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
How jaunty this is written Joanne, I've reread it a number of times, and that humor of presenting is still strong etched in this brain. I love the introduction, with the dramatic (bink), I would have done exactly the same thing, and wondered out loud (to the frog), and just how did you manage to be here sitting on my neatly folded towel. How many times have I gently taken part of the snimqal life that surrounds us, and gently placed him out doors also, but I love the fantasy phrasing of the prince, this is pure humor, and got a big chuckled out of me. Then the lesson, Little Green grogs come when the season is right, then hibernate until the season changes again. So you have managed to include much in this charming ditty, and quite strongly pointed out that Autumn, means hibernation through the winter (alittle taste of the reality of seasonal change), so this is really multifaceted, and really warms the cockles of my heart. Another great example of how your writing has grown, how wide the expanse of your topics, and a great way of projecting. When I read the poem, I thought about the pigeon who flew through my screenless window (I live on the third floor), he walk through the living room where he entered, stopped and seemed drawn by the TV screen, then continued around through the kitcen coming the full cyle of the layout of the arartment. Now it was important to me that he exit safely, so I shooed him back to the open wundow, at which point he did fly to the winow sill, but refused to exit, and he needed the safety of his rooftop, so taking a soft cotten cloth I was able to capture him between my two hand, as I ben out I released the cloth and gently threw him into the air, safely gone, once again safe in his family and circle of friend. The irony the screen has been replaced on the window, but he now flies to the outside window sill, and sits there and cooes at me, guess he considers me a friend who'll luisten, it's quite lovely to him him sernade me, and I feel special indeed. Yerars ago in Florida I took the children outself after a summer down por, and Joanne there were thousand of tree frogs all over the paved road the sidewalk, the sides of the house, I had never seen anything like that before, you couldn't evn take a step out of fear you would squash one. Guess that rainclose was just waaiting full of tree frod eggs that had matured, it was quite amazing (of course I didn't have a loaded camera to get pictures), I have never forgotten that experience, shortly after the moisture dissipated all the tree frogs had disappeared, strange things all in the rehlm of unbelieveable, but they happened, from that day on I had a read high regard for Mother Nauure..Amazing!! I digressed, anyway once again a joyous poem to take in all the flavors, very entertaining, and a real artistic humorous submission. My best aways, keep up writing, and I'll keep reading, putting my two cents worth in, Love always, Jo

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-13 19:16:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
This is filled with joy even the finding of the frog on your towel and BLINK...indeed I would have rubbed the old eyes over and over again......though I am not sure about taking the little darling within my hands and allowing him to roam free outside again......though the thought of a kiss in case he was my prince charming might have worked just as well...........hehehe.....your words bring to mind so many wonderful images.....and as you say the little frogs are all but gone at this time of the year and I do not even hear the grandfather bull frog late at night ......and he certainly did his fair share of crooning this summer past......I do notice the crickets are slower then molasses and I have caught quite a few this week alone and when I ask for molasses I must say they do make a mess within the palm of my hand....I kept one for a day in a jar and watched him try his best to reach the outter layer and that night I was good and let him go.......the hornets and bees are slower too so I might agree the early morning dew might bring cooler weather sooner then naught.....nicely structure poem with a great story line that keeps you wanting more and more....so perhaps you might be good to us and bring a sequel in the very near future..... Your heart must be filled with joy to find such lovely things to bring forth for us to enjoy.....be safe my friend and God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Karen Ragan On Date: 2003-09-13 12:09:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Joanne, I'm not very active at the TPL anymore, but I still stop by and read, even though I seldom comment. You give so much to me in your crits that I feel guilty not giving something back. I'm just so slow at writing crits (perfectionist in me) that I don't take the time. I've noticed that some of your best work centers around nature and her many wonders! You have a way with words in describing her beauty and her many creatures. You've taken a seemingly simple event and turned it into a wondrous adventure...taking the reader on the adventure with you. As I dare to grasp his damp, wriggling body in my bare hand, he stabs a small insistent snout between my clasped fingers...."stabs a small insistent snout" what a perfectly delightful phrase and full of wonderful 's' sounds. Is this sticky gent a Prince I ought to kiss, perhaps still spellbound? How did this slight, (grass-green guy)love this phrase and the sounds. find his way into my bath today?....your imagination takes over here and you take the reader into your daydream in a fairytale fashion. Perhaps he's a silent scout, sent to announce Autumn's approach, the somber season when small frogs seem to disappear....it's a bit sad to see summer end and its creatures disappear in the chill, but autumn has a beauty and grace all its own. The 's' sounds scattered throughout this piece give it a soft kind of hush and wonder. The circle of life is seen so perfectly in the cycle of seasons...so the frogs will come again in spring to sing of its perfection!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2003-09-13 06:41:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
It could be a prince. Or an emir. Or - I sense the disappearance of summer more than the arrival of autumn for some reason. My drive to work at 6am is now in darkness. With little respite from the heat, it don't feel like autumn yet. I like the piece. Brings one to the transitions nature keeps track of, transitions that help us count, tell the time, relate to the inner self. Later. T.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2003-09-13 04:00:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Joanne! I have never truly been able to appreciate the beauty of nature through poetry and all my poems have always been confined to love, politics and religion. Thankfully, poets like me are able to see this appreciation through the poems of others. So it isn’t a rainbow, a waterfall or a stretch of desert sand but a golden – green tree frog. It’s amazing how, even the smaller and taken for granted creations of nature add to its diversity and of course, beauty. Pigs are up there in my top five list of favorite animals and we still call them pigs. Yet, try finding an animal with a cute baby face and a plump body with the cutest tail and we end up finding nothing but pigs. They are unique and so are frogs. I love the use of very simple language in this poem. But for me the magnets in this one are the first couple of lines in verse 4. It gives the piece humor and weaves the instance of the ‘frog prince’ into the flow very well. As always, a job well done Joanne! Coming from a concrete jungle like Calcutta, I do need to be reminded of these things. I sometimes forget Nature even exists! Take care, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Darlene A Moore On Date: 2003-09-13 03:57:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.42857
I seem to remember reading an earlier version a few hours ago...this is better, more put together. I would like a little more imaginary flair...ie prince, frog...be daring...the first part just begs for more spunk and humor to follow...I find the ending disappointing compared to the beginning...I still want to know what that frog was doing in the bathroom...I want more action/reaction...did you take this that calmly in stride? I haven't even seen a tree frog in years!! I don't mean to sound hard on you...I worked on one poem this week for days tearing off and rewriting an ending several times for some of the same reasons...the ending was bland compared to the early part of the poem.

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