This Poem was Submitted By: siddharth Gopalakrishna On Date: 2004-01-07 14:37:05 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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All my life I sought to belong what is it? what it is that people want What is that which fails my mind, lost I was as thoughts went by Every twist'o'fate and time left me more dead than alive The secret I thought I finally understood fortune, however, was not so kind  Each time rejection came, swallowing hard  I hid the shame, Eyes glazed but tears never slipping, steeling myself I waited for the pain tumbling and turning one night Unique, I was not to belong The gods I once knew had smiled realization dawned, It was all in the mind!!

Copyright © January 2004 siddharth Gopalakrishna

This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie L Fischer On Date: 2004-01-25 14:09:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Siddarth, This poem reveals what so many people have experienced. How often we percieve rejection, sure that we are not part of the whole and waste so much time concerned about what we are not (or what we think we are not) until tumbling and turning, we awake with maturity and time and realize it was not as we thought. I like the simplicity of this and yet you tell a great story. Deb:)

This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-20 16:53:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.70000
This seems more like prose broken up into stanzas to me. I do the same sometimes, but I do appreciate the growth theme here. I love to watch this in athletes I work with, and like to see people writing about it also. Makes me think you are a young person, or at least thinking about being young, or are deep in the middle of a growth period. Well done. As an aside, as a former devotee at an ashram, I love your name. It's very like many of the traditional things we focused on in chants and so on. I feel I must have been Indian at some point before, because I feel such a connection with that culture. Thanks, REEG!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-01-17 11:48:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
Dear Siddharth This poem struck a chord with me. I too, always longed to belong, to be loved and accepted for who I am. It took me more than 40 years to finally accept myself. "I am who I am, God made me this way" That is my motto, once I started to like myself and the way that I am, the happier I became. Glad you came to realize this as well. Your style is simple but powerful words, still gets the point across. I like the last stanza as sometimes it comes like a realization, we are unique and each special in our own way. Thanks for sharing this with us. Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-01-13 18:20:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Dear Poet.....Welcome to TPL... This poem is well structured seeking a response to the age old question asked by so many over and over again.....I included..."how do I belong" I think all humans experience this when they try too hard to belong, weather it is in a church, school, even at home within the family structure some feel they will never belong.....Opening line sets the tone for this poem .."I sought to belong".."What is it people want?" Simply stated yet hard to respond to at times. When I was in my teens my Godmother offered me a dollar for every pound I would loose and thus I felt deep within my heart that she thought I was ugly, not worthy of love.....I started to starve myself and within a year I lost one hundred pounds but she paid me not one penney.....that my friend started a pattern for my entire I still weight 85-87 pounds....not good and yes, I am still ugly..... I like the 1st lines in the second stanza...."every twist 'o' fate and time left me more dead than alive." How true this statement is especially to me......Uncertain of the future, not knowing where I was heading not one true friend and then my father died at an early age of 54.....devastated over and over had taken a twist of fate and I fell to the level of victim over and over again........ .."eyes glazed but tears never slipping" a great line and I can easily feel the emotions set within the words......"It was all in my mind!" That might be a good ending but to this reader it was far from the truth for my feelings were real back then as they are still mom who is 92 loves to tell me how ugly my hair might be , how ugly I might as you can tell I hope I did enjoy this read, I associated with most of it from the beginning to end....and I do thank you for posting this .....looking forward to more of your work....Be safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-01-09 18:04:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Ah, you bear a wonderful surname (and Siddhartha one of my favourite books). You bring your philosophy to the fore. Yes, it may be all in the mind, but one has to live and overcome such fears and ideologies... to rise above in a humane way. To say and do as we believe and not be empowered by someone else to do their bidding (if you get my drift). I like the simplicity of this piece, and its honesty. Your title is apt. thanks so much for bringing this to us.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-01-08 16:14:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Siddharth, Welcome to TPL...hope you like us and will stay to write awhile. This is a well written poem that asks an age old question "how do I belong" I think all humans experience trepidation when they strive to belong, weather it is in a school, church, club, or an 'in' crowd. The first line sets the tone of this piece..."I sought to belong".."What is it people want?" This seems a simple question but it is much more profound than it sounds and a question that we all ask ourselves sooner or later. I like the 1st lines in the second stanza...."every twist 'o' fate and time left me more dead than alive." The uncertainty of not knowing where to turn or what to say just to be accepted is overwhelming. ..."swallowing hard I hid the shame"..."eyes glazed but tears never slipping" these are great lines and I can easily feel the pathos in the words. The last stanza lifts the spirits of this reader..."It was all in my mind!" And that, dear poet, is a perfect ending as it is so wise! I enjoyed this and keep writing...I will watch for your work. Peace...Marilyn
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