This Poem was Submitted By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-08 21:26:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Sam obscuring and impeding these very words
the heater fan
that is what we call Sam
purring the only sounds
that are now heard
whether newly awake or as current, bed-bound
patient in ways that are often reserved
for none of her kind
we have another, a far distant relation
as different as can be, of color and mind
that one black, as the curse she can be
as soft as her fur is, a rare sensation
she decides
the when and the where
like a reckless, noisy tide
with claws on skin bare
but it's not of her I would now speak
It's Sam, with a name as plain
as a sailor or tailor, or drunk on the street
it's Sam, Sammers, and Sammy to some
Sam on her back looking cute
Sam on your chest
Sam under covers will come
Sam makes my wife jealous
with her strangely intimate ways
Sammy purrs when between us
but paw stretched out to both greet
or face right...up...in the huddle
when we cuddle
every morning for days |
|
Copyright © January 2004 Regis L Chapman
Additional Notes:
This is a poem for my cat, Sam. This cat is something else. He's so affectionate, it borders on the bizarre.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2004-02-04 17:14:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69231
Hi Regis,
Again a poem I really like! The description of Sam is well done. The personality of the cat comes through clearly in the poem. One this I particularly like about this poem is that it tells us something very nice about the poet himself. This is a softer, more human side of your writing, and the ease with which Sam is presented to us shows good usage of language.
"but it's not of her I would now speak
It's Sam, with a name as plain
as a sailor or tailor, or drunk on the street
it's Sam, Sammers, and Sammy to some
Sam on her back looking cute
Sam on your chest
Sam under covers will come"
The lilting rhythm of this stanza made it my favorite. The variations on Sam's name sets a loving tone to the lines. We also had a Sam, (only she was Samantha) who was alternately called Sammy, Sam and Sammers, so I know the tone of voice and heart those sounds incorporate. I also detected a sort of "Seuss" feel to this poem. Was it purposefull? This is a poem that will appeal to a wide variety of readers, and I really enjoyed reading it.
Rene
This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2004-02-01 01:00:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.61538
Hi Reeg,
What a delightful read this is. Yes, they said “cats” are a true replica of women. Their stand and elegance is just like a lady. The “purring” and frequent courting at our feet shows their sweet and affectionate nature.
“This is a poem for my cat, Sam. This cat is something else. He's so affectionate, it borders on the bizarre.”
--- When you said that Sam is a “he” but uses “she” in the entire poem, I suspect that the “she” thing is only to add more on the feminine side of cats. And I find it very effective especially when you said:
“Sam makes my wife jealous
with her strangely intimate ways
Sammy purrs when between us”
--- Overall, this is very clever!
I also like how you explain his/her name as plain in your line:
“as a sailor or tailor, or drunk on the street
it's Sam, Sammers, and Sammy to some”
--- I was entertained by the rhyming “sailor” and “tailor”.
--- Quite true here, our Dachshund dog “Mojo” is sometimes called “Mojomojo” and “Mojako”. I like “Sammy” the best. Funny…
This is a simple but a very heart-warming poem. You have captured the essence and beauty of simple life in the fullest. Thanks for taking us to tour in the world of your beloved pet Sam and some comedies of your days with him together with your wife. Yes, this is such a cute piece! More of this please!
As always,
Erzahl :)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-01-22 09:06:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.77778
Hi Reeg...
Sam...that pervasive comfort-provoking purveyor of happiness. A rascal, a friend and may even a confidante, but don't get her too excited with your relationship or she'll scratch a message in your forearm.
OK...why wouldn't your wife be jealous of another pussy?
Ty for sharing this entertaining and fun comfort piece. I very much enjoyed it.
Mick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-01-12 09:15:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.45455
Your tribute to Sam reminds me of Mecho who left five years ago on a cold snowy night.......this cat would come to me in the morning light and put its paws on my face and if I was under the covers she would jump on the bed and nose her way in to make sure I was breathing.......this was a routine of hers every morning and to this day I miss her still. She was a tiger colored cat and I am afraid the Fisher cats got her in the woods of Tully.......Sam sounds wonderfully attentive, affectionate to say the least, nicely structured poem with good word flow allowing the reader to see and fee and hear the purring , loving sounds of Sam. Thanks for posting, I bet if Sam could read he would love it too. Be safe and God Bless, Claire
Love the term heater fan for they certainly are warm in the winter months with all that extra fur.....my present cat, Snowball lives outside, a stray that wandered into the yard, still a loving cat once he got used to us.....my mom is 92 and the cat sits on her lap all the time she is on the deck reading her books, talking to each other they do......a nice picture to behold.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-01-11 16:59:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi Regis,
I love poems written about our pets as most are loving and some sad
as they are about the death of a pet. I wrote one and posted it here
about Pepper who was my dog that passed away...in fact she died in my
arms as I was begging her not to. When our children were young we had
cats off and on..in fact we adopted a 'mamma kitty' so the children
could see birth of her kittens and thereby witness the process which
certainly did answer some of their questions about where babies come
from! I smiled all the way through this piece which is written with
love for Sam in every line. I can tell he is a treasured part of your
family. However, the black one you refer to is much more the norm
for cats...a little offish and they decide "the when and the where"
About three years after Pepper's death my kids brought me a dog as they
were sure I needed one and I could not refuse when I saw how cute she was.
Well they were right I just melted when I saw her and much to my
surprise I was more lonesome than I thought I was! Of course she
sleeps with me, sometimes with her head on my shoulder. They say people
who own pets live longer...so keep on loving Sam!
Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-01-10 18:06:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Five years ago I was endowed with a cat. Never having owned any animal but a dog before, I knew
not what to expect. So, I understand fully what you write about...under the covers (he did that
for the first time last night), on his back, or just plain ignoring. We now have him trained
to walk on a leash! That took some doing. Now, about your poetry. The format could be tightened
up considerably. In some places you rhyme, others don't. Because of this, to me, it doesn't
read well. The subject matter is simple enough and goes along with the title. Thanks for sharing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terrye Godown On Date: 2004-01-09 09:26:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This is such a unique expose of how we connect with our pets.. on a sensory level that is apart, yet strangely parallels that considered to be so innately human.
Love the way you describe the purr... the comparison to that of speaking through a fan is just about as exact as you could get. Writing this in a mode that suggests a present tense and how this cat has (obviously for the millionth time!) captured the moment, is another element that pulls the reader into your observations, distracting them as you have been obviously been distracted by the cat. It's a great way of directly sharing your experience with the reader.
Did get a bit "gender confused" in this one, as your notes describe a "he", whereas in the poem you suggest Sam is a "she" or so it could be taken two ways here:
"Sam on her back looking cute" (on her own back or possibly your wife's?)
As far as the structure, you write in a form of impulse which is in sync with these moments of distraction you are building on here. Thoughts end unpredictably, only to continue on in the next verse. It does lead one to contimplate this more and thus invites a re-read for clarification at times (at least for me it did!),
so you might toy with areas that would make it flow easier, but again, I don't feel this is crucial to the piece, this is just my perspective. For example:
"Sammy purrs when between us
but paw stretched out to both greet
or face right...up...in the huddle"
Perhaps instead something like this, so as to pull this last stanza back into a here and now observation"
which would create a more intimate and cozy thought to end this endearing "distraction" with:
Sammy purrs, content between us
Paws strething out to both...
His face right up in our huddle...
as a threesome we cuddle
each morning" (here, maybe dropping the "for days" as that seems as if you lay that way for a much longer time than I think you intend! lol
Anyway, so much for my so-called critique. Just some suggestions for more clarity, and perspective - but all in all this is a heart warming, and refresing piece that renders a happy and calming feeling! Great job!
Cheerz!
T
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