This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2004-05-18 21:43:20 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Apology to my readers

You know who you are All you stricken ones How dare I teach you? You don’t ask too much Just to read and leave In peace, as you came But I have bitten Scratched and chewed your hands One massive ego Masquerading, egg With a rotten yolk, Like a virtuous Turd.

Copyright © May 2004 Mark Andrew Hislop

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-06-06 08:38:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.49057
Apology accepted - if necessaary. I think not, for all who visit here contribute something, if only anger, sadness, time. This from my "bloodied hands". All minds are different, thanks to whomever or whatever determined it would be so. Poetic contributions are different, as well, thanks to those who determine that. I'd say your contribution[s] are worthy of acceptance, if not by all, then at least, by some of us. So, for what it's worth, write on in... peace. wrl

This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-06-03 12:24:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Well, critiquing this work seems superfluous somehow, but here goes. It's hard to know whose massive ego we are discussing here- mine, yours, or the collective poised to read your work at TPL? Someone else entirely? Since you describe yourself in your profile as a lunatic, maybe we are talking about some imaginary friend...? It's hard to know if you are flipping us all off, flipping yourself off, or you imaginary friends here, but the anger and rankness of the thing comes across more or less purely. If that was you aim then you achieved it excellently, but maybe you were talking about your breakfast, I don't know. Thanks, REEG!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Anne Korb On Date: 2004-05-29 00:09:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.28571
I hardly know how to critique this. It seems so silly to compare oneself to a "virtuous Turd" when the entire point of coming to this place is to learn from one another. How dare I critique when I'm only just really learning to write....but I find myself seeking answers in research in order to at least begin to appear to have a bit of knowledge...does that make me a turd? If so, then I hope everyone forgives me as well, for the arrogance of my having dared critique anyone else, when I have yet so much to learn. :) I think you're poem is lovely, and you are quite forgiven, if forgiveness is needed.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-05-25 11:19:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82609
You know who you are All you stricken ones How dare I teach you? "You can and must teach us 'cause what we are stricken with is "awe" of your work and you can can cut through awe with a butterknife You don’t ask too much Just to read and leave In peace, as you came that may be true for some of your readers but this one is looking fur blood rhetoric and bitting phrases and and comes armed to slash and burn to the core of meaning But I have bitten Scratched and chewed your hands One massive ego Nah.... pussy cat bites and then little licks to make it all better Masquerading, egg With a rotten yolk, Like a virtuous Turd. Love it! Virtuous Turd made out of rotten egg! What an amazingly rich and pungent mixed metaphor! I love this piece! R
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-05-18 22:47:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.56522
This is much better than the last one. If you leave the eggs on the countertop they tend to rot. We're all familiar with defecation, And find the virtuous ones quite likable. Perhaps Ken P will notice your theft and comment upon it. Perhaps is a euphemism. Or an escape clause. Or a turd. If you're referring to yourself, I don't know what you're talking about. If you're referring to someone else, I don't know what you're talking about. Either.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-05-18 21:59:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
Dear Mark, You have quite a sense of humor, as exposed in this poem. It's really very good, and thank you because I needed a laugh tonight. I'm not sure why you have to apologize, guess I missed the true content of what your intentions are, but I'm glad I read this. The ending is perfect, "Turd", the writer is accepting the opinion of what others think he is by simply stating so. Whatever you did to warrant the label, I think you've come back brilliantly and suffice to say, wrote a very unique piece. Sincerely, DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2004-05-18 21:59:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MAH, As to the e-mail, I liked the first version better. I think. I must go back and check. As to the best thing you've done, maybe. If i ever remove the fence from my ass, i'll give you a more definitive opinion. Have you been a bad boy again? Three Hundred Hail Marys. Then . . . shut up - even in print - for one month. You may write poetry and submit it, however. And enjoy a nice glass of wine. And a smoke. But you must abstain from sex. Imagine you're a priest. Well, imagine you're a priest in 1956. Good luck. Armpit
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