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Above the Well “From time to time an angel of the Lord would come down and stir up the waters. The first one into the pool after each such disturbance would be cured of whatever disease he had.” –John 5:4 Most days I wander thick fields, watching sharp movements of the pine. I cross the fence through waist-deep grass, keep pace in underboughs still wet with rain. When the storm hits cold stones below my feet smell like wind stirring the water. What pinches the switch of my soul? Such marks feed heat like hot scraps of desperation raging the storm. The branch comes crashing down, tangles itself in the fence. My hands hurry to build an earthen ladder from the remains, wrestle God against the open spaces, throw down language from a new Babel. A dry thirst pulls up from the well an ocean, asking why I seek to sustain myself this way? If I spit, I choose faith to wash with. The earth grips cracks near the well in deep rock where mud fills my eyes; I climb an inner rope to sight, yet here I am clinging to the earth. What do I hope for in the depth of the well? Sometimes the ocean stands from its stone valley, stretches, curves up over breakers where I now crouch, watching seaweed curl, spread out like needles around a fire. Here, small crabs angry and clambering stomp back beneath the rocks away from light, new sight. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-06-05 18:19:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.49057
Don, such a lot of fantastic imagery to devour. Great personification work. Alliteration and assonance are good, too. I struggled a little with some of those images, kind of way out there, IMO. [e.g. "wrestle God against the open spaces", and "When the storm hits cold stones below/my feet smell like wind stirring the water."] They are vivid, but quite a stretch for poor little me. The last verse seemed stronger, less vague. I really liked that closing stanza. Maybe it's because I'm from the coast, and therefore, relate better. I can detect the excellence of rhythm and the use of poetic tools is outstanding. Very well constructed and I can see that a lot of time and work must have gone into this piece. Thanks for sharing with us. peace. wrl