This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-05-26 09:34:28 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Hush, a Young Bard Sings Once More

You recall long ago, but yesterday, Today and even now is already gone, Skipping off down the long haul. Standing on the rim of my glass  I feel like driving into this watercolor. I pause between paints, wondering If I have imagined you scrubbing time And history from your mind, then Remember you again, most audaciously. I drop the hint I've meant to heed, Release the pent-up blossom-seed, And love, yes, even your drab daisies. If you could remember to drop in - What with the Alzheimer’s and all - It’s always a Liberace they wait for, And you were a maestro,  Even in the mourning, Playing it pianissimo. I will remember for both of us. And so the glass, and so the frame, And so the end of a life gone tame.

Copyright © May 2004 Thomas Edward Wright

Additional Notes:
This is a 2004 BMW convertible, refashioned, here with the top down and new decals.

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-06-06 09:04:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62963
Hi Tom, A BMW? You could have fooled me! I was reading all kinds of things between your lines as the entire piece seemed sensual to me and I was loving it....I have lived alone too long! Anyway I was really into the words and occasional rhymes with gusto and then....a Car! Well...I suppose men are passionate about their cars...what a bummer. But having said that I must admit I like this poem for it is clever and inventive. Peace....Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-05-31 20:29:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.39024
I bet she's a beauty, just like this poem. A fun and enjoyable read. Thanks. Nice occasional rhymes, just the right touch for the "Beamer". I kind of wonder why a 2004 BMW needs re-fashioning, though. Thanks. peace. wrl
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Morales On Date: 2004-05-26 22:33:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
"This is a 2004 BMW convertible, refashioned, here with the top down and new decals." And all this time I thought you had pigeons in the attic. Best, Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-05-26 19:20:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94737
Tom: I am sincerely flattered. Not one, but two parodies in the same day! It would look confusing on the Winner's List if all three of them were voted there: Hush, The Young Bard Sings Once More For Whom the Young Bird Sings Hush, The Young Bird Sings Once More I can't say whether I am more amused or perplexed at this duplicitous turn of the worm. You recall long ago, but yesterday, Today and even now is already gone, Skipping off down the long haul. Quite funny, I suppose, though my father's dementia (Alzheimer's wasn't conclusively diagnosed) wasn't at all amusing at the time. He did tend to live in the "long ago" since short term memory was greatly impaired. Standing on the rim of my glass I feel like driving into this watercolor. I pause between paints, wondering It's an odd coincidence - and I am certain that it is nothing but that - but my father was an artist -- a painter. Not watercolors, but acrylic and oil paint. He continued until his tremor prevented him. If you could remember to drop in - What with the Alzheimer’s and all - It’s always a Liberace they wait for, Ahh, do you think senility may be setting in? And why did I put the bananas in the freezer! And you were a maestro, Even in the mourning, Playing it pianissimo. So, you think *I* am getting repetitious? No new themes? I will remember for both of us. And so the glass, and so the frame, And so the end of a life gone tame. Such a sad ending for this light-hearted poem! I think that a slight revision may improve the closing line: "But not the end of this touché game!" As ever, Jo
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Anne Korb On Date: 2004-05-26 14:46:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Beautiful and bitter sweet....a love poem for one who is aging. Absolutely beautiful..."I will remember for both of us." There must be a great deal of love there and it shows in your words.
This Poem was Critiqued By: G. Donald Cribbs On Date: 2004-05-26 14:31:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84375
TEW, I'm not a real car afficianado myself, but I quite like the tender tone with which you voice this elegant piece. Nice form, rhyme, and metered word throughout. At first I saw you in the side yard with an easel and paint set, scrubbing out a watercolor on a blank canvas against the backdrop of nature you have tucked next door. Then, your notes section suggests you're out joy riding, or preparing to go out joyriding in your beamer. Either way, the mood you evoke in the lines and manner of putting words to paper is quite wonderful. Thank you for sharing this one with us. I love, "Skipping off down the long haul," and "even in the mourning," where your double meaning comes through quite clear. Masterful, maestro! pianissimo... Warm Regards, Don
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-05-26 12:04:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
love the new decals Hush, a Young Bard Sings Once More And so softly and lovingly that we will be quiet, yes You recall long ago, but yesterday, Today and even now is already gone, Skipping off down the long haul. Yes. Sadly so, "great pun in long haul” Standing on the rim of my glass I feel like driving into this watercolor. I pause between paints, wondering Amazing and poignant perspective If I have imagined you scrubbing time And history from your mind, then Remember you again, most audaciously. To remember audaciously” is magical and [sustaining] I drop the hint I've meant to heed, Release the pent-up blossom-seed, And love, yes, even your drab daisies. Yes. wonderful in descriptive power and pathos If you could remember to drop in - What with the Alzheimer’s and all - It’s always a Liberace they wait for, Yes…something sparkling and impossibly alive and in the moment. Life with chandeliers and candles con pianissimo And you were a maestro, Even in the mourning, [another amazing hearty pun] Playing it pianissimo. I will remember for both of us. [ah, yes] And so the glass, and so the frame, And so the end of a life gone tame. A life gone tame. That is it exactly. Sometimes I think perhaps harder in the observing, as the disease progresses. My mother was quite content at the end – perhaps more so than she had ever been and I got To lose her a little at a time – not all at once – which would have been harder I think. Wonderful poem Tom.
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