This Poem was Submitted By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-06-11 12:03:09 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Plane Perspective

We were sitting at the airport gate  after golfing in South Carolina while Mikey read his paperback  I felt sick with my angina. Thinking of the courses we had played trying to forget the pains in my chest I was fidgeting like a child without toy Mike had no idea I was stressed. After entering the huge Airbus   we quickly found our seats friendly smiles flew all around the plane yet my face was white as a sheet. Five minutes later the engines roared then we taxied along the tarmac saying bye to Charlotte I felt my heart sink or it could’ve been a heart attack. At take-off we saw a woman in distress sitting across the aisle in 
C curly hair dangling from her hanging head wiping sweaty palms on her jeans                                                                                                          She was clearly uncomfortable with the light bumps and as we climbed to cruise she became worse  Mike shook his head and laughed quietly at her and I was thinking I needed a nurse.  As the big bird flew my friend said to me  “it’s just like driving over potholes you ride out the bounces and simply relax” and I was praying God "save our souls". It didn’t matter how well the plane was maintained  with experienced pilot or clear sky I didn’t care we’d soon be home                                                                               all I wanted was a big glass of rye. I ordered a triple Crown Royal on the rocks hoping for the quickest affect but when Mikey saw the drink I was handed he told me something I’ll never forget. He said “I thought you traveled all the time and I didn’t know that you hated flying” embarrassed as I was I answered honestly I still hate it but much less than dying. He said “If you are thinking that the plane will crash I can assure that won’t happen at all and if you really think about the chances of dying you’re more likely to be killed by a golf ball”. My perspective changed at that very moment  oh how dangerous golf can be  though I still tremble when I have to fly  I also worry about death on the tee.  

Copyright © June 2004 Mick Fraser

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-07-03 12:45:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hey stranger, Glad to see your presence here. This one reads like a log entry in a journal with it's poignant perspective and very personal comments seasoned with humor and fear all at the same time. I LOVE IT! It's like being able to look right into your wonderfully wry personality. LOL. But that's you, so transparent, and I mean that in the best of ways! I enjoyed quite a bit about this poem. Here are a few of my favs: The alliterative title adds a nice touch and zeroes right in on the subject matter. The rhymes are absolutely over the top! The comparison of playing golf and the fidgity child without a toy work well in s2. The use of the word "airbus" is great! The mix of humor and fear in s4 with the nonchalant way you now allude to having a heart attack. I'm sure at the time you didn't think it was funny at all. Actually you may have been having an anxiety attack, as the symptoms can make you think you're having an MI. The addition of alliterative words in clearly/umcomfortable/climbed/cruise, and other phrases as well, like taxied/tarmac and big/bird add immensely to the sound when read aloud. The last two stanzas are an absolute brilliant ending to the story. I laughed myself silly reading it the first time. Thanks for being able to share this with others. I admire and respect you for that. And you know I think lots of others feel as you do about flying and can really relate to this piece. Take care, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-06-22 09:21:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 5.00000
I love the ending.......makes me chuckle to myself for I was so worried about you from the beginning with perhaps a heart attack but it is the fear of flying that brought you the distress.....that too I can associate with for I won't go up in the air and I would rather give up those offers of Aruba and such..... but now my friend to worry about death on the tee.....too much....true as it might be......too much. Great structure, love the word flow and the thoughts it brings forth along with the images you have created.....thanks for posting and sharing, be safe now and God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wayne R. Leach On Date: 2004-06-17 20:48:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.33333
Nicely formed and rhymed quatrains, Mick. Really interesting read, a nice story, keeping the reader hanging [pun intended] until the end. and I was praying God "save our souls". - [Should the quote begin: "...praying 'God, save our souls.'"?] My only suggestion. Though not a golfer, I like the images, and the relationships you've connected between it and flying. Neat. Good title and some slant rhymes that work well, too. Write on, and thanks for posting this one. Peace. wrl
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-06-12 04:42:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mick, I'm glad to know you are back, we missed your presence here in TPL. I read your story with remembrance to my own story in the perspective of the plane. There seems to be always a fear when going to flight. It's innate for a numan person to be afraid to die. Hehe. In this piece, I can see some stufs that you were doing while you were absent from the link. You have put it in clear and detailed way and I don't have no suggestions to give you. Your presentation is good that way. Thanks for sharing, Mick. Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Gerard A Geiger On Date: 2004-06-11 15:32:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.16667
Hey Mick; I have to let you know that I really enjoyed this poem. I love the last line. ...I walk near a golf course and am always conscious of the danger of those white spheroids... Plane perspective is an appropriate title for this entertaining and enlightening piece. Thanks for sharing it with us Mick.. Gerard
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