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This Poem was Submitted By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2004-07-20 17:08:37 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Force That Through My Muse Drives The O

I am smitten with the fifteenth letter of our Alphabet, the lovely O, and no one is more stunned Than I. Always favoring consonant sounds, I Found vowels histrionic, ever moaning, groaning, Overly emotional. But here I am, embracing omicron, imagining Circles, haloes, and breasts. Appetizing O, Filled with zest, a necessary part of love. I Sit and murmur O, my mouth round with Pleasure like a post-coital murgeon, Minus the coitus like roe without a sturgeon. Due to my newly-opened door, my writing Will change and mayhaps it will emerge Masturbatory as Dylan Thomas'...no, I Cannot celebrate onanism at this late date And gentle I will not go into that good Night. Yet with my O, I sense a shadow Flow and hear a distant sound. The melody Of charm would disarm any disbeliever As it expands to a grand resolution. I know it issues out the far berm and floats Above and from the man who loved Fern Hill As I love O until I go with him.

Additional Notes:
Dylan Thomas (1914-1953) "The Force That Through the Green Fuse Drives the Flower" "Fern Hill" "Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night"

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jana Buck Hanks On Date: 2004-07-31 21:20:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.41667
OOOooooooooooo Mell!!! I can just see all the faces of the Morman Tabanapple choir going OOOOOOOOOOO Your words in OOOO spread throughout this piece like a beautiful mosaic I love this line: I Sit and murmur O, my mouth round with Pleasure like a post-coital murgeon, Minus the coitus like roe without a sturgeon. To me this metaphorical image sets the tone of this poem, even though it is not in the first stanza. What would we do without the letter OOOOoooooo? Bright Blessings Jana

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-07-30 16:19:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Smitten with the fifteenth letter of ours, the lovely O, and no one is more stunned Than I. Always favoring consonants, I Find vowels histrionic, ever moaning, Groaning, overly emotional. But here I am, embracing Omicron, imagining Circles, haloes, and breasts, whose appetizing O's Filled with zest, once a necessary part of love. I Sit and murmur O, my mouth round with Pleasure like a post-coital murgeon, Minus the coitus (like roe without a sturgeon). Due to my newly-opened door, my writing Will change and mayhaps it will emerge Masturbatory as Dylan Thomas'...no, I Cannot celebrate onanism at this late date And gentle I will not go into that good Night. Yet with my O, I sense a shadow Flow and hear a distant sound. The melody Of charm would disarm any disbeliever As it expands to a grand resolution. I know it issues out the far berm and floats Above and from the man who loved Fern Hill As I love 'O' till I go with him. this is outstanding. I cannot but smile and wonder from whence this came. so to speak. t.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Edwin John Krizek On Date: 2004-07-25 17:13:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Mell, I'm not familiar with all of Dylan Thomas' work so I don't know if I caught all the allusions but I do like the sensuality and the open embracing of your O. If I may be so bold can "O" be orgasm? Ed Krizek

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-07-24 18:32:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mell=O This will n0t be my typical critique. This is n0t 'y0ur' typical p0em. It is a charming divertissement, a slightly er0tic paean t0 a certain v0wel. A bit 0n the daring side and why n0t! That it is a very h0t day here -- O, whew! -- n0t in the realm 0f Texas nights, or Calif0rnia nights, but Pacific NW evenings. Still 97. With0ut air-c0nditioning. Sweat is dripping d0wn my f0rehead as I think h0w t0 resp0nd t0 such thoughts as you've generously shared. Nobody is wittier than th0u, IM "O"! And I want y0u t0 kn0w that I think I have underst00d at least 50% 0f the d0uble entendres in this piece. I can't claim m0re as that w0uld be disingenu0us 0f me. ;) But bey0nd the s0aring hum0r, the delightful w0rd-crafting, there is, as in all y0ur p0ems, a seri0us element. I am smitten with the fifteenth letter of our Alphabet, the lovely O, and no one is more stunned Than I. Always favoring consonant sounds, I Found vowels histrionic, ever moaning, groaning, --heee! "Overly emotional" --giggling, Oh my!! See what I mean about humor -- "smitten.fifteenth.letter" Lots of 't', 'e' and 'n' sounds But here I am, embracing omicron, imagining --Glad you embrace the 'small' o as well as the big one! Circles, haloes, and breasts. Appetizing O,--what is there to do but laugh Filled with zest, a necessary part of love. I Sit and murmur O, my "mouth round" with --howling! Pleasure like a post-coital murgeon, [must be Celtic] Minus the coitus like roe without a sturgeon. --very funny rhyme!!! Due to my newly-opened door, my writing Will change and mayhaps it will emerge Masturbatory as Dylan Thomas'...no, I Cannot celebrate onanism at this late date --Latin 'onanismus' from Onan, son of Judah? And now for the serious-- And gentle I will not go into that good --wonderful reference Night. Yet with my O, I sense a shadow --each one's 'O' is unique to oneself Flow and hear a distant sound. The melody Of charm would disarm any disbeliever As it expands to a grand resolution. There must be a connection between the peak physical experience and the peak spiritual ones. You synthesize them beautifully here. And of course, orgasm as 'une petite morte' is well-known. And perhaps death is something unimaginably ecstatic --which "expands to a grand resolution." The hope and charm of these words is unmistakably Mell. I know it issues out the far berm and floats Above and from the man who loved Fern Hill As I love O until I go with him. You know we all hope and pray that it will not be soon. Me, selfishly, not within my lifetime! "Until" can be a very long time - in fact, an infinity. The "nekkody" of the charm of this poem has disarmed me. And I suspect a (w)h-0-le h-0-st of your other admirers. A well deserved prize MUST be in your future for this completely unique take on the subject of the letter "O" here. An "O" is like a zero, perhaps a sign of absolute wholeness and completion. The circle of this letter/number which of course is the universal symbol of unity and infinity. Kudos for this lovely coup de grâce, amiga. Until Oui meet again, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2004-07-23 23:12:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh wOw, got it. O is probably the one letter all would identify with exclaimation, it drives those lyrics that donate senses, and it everything your wonderful poem eludes to, I'm smitten, and for this reader I see the O and one big indicator of wonder, and for me, it can make me chuckle, feel smitten all over with memories, and probably pne voqel used more often then we realize for emphasis. Once again Mell you make this reader chuckle, especially when just last night I saw a commerical and it related to the O, I'm not left with a memprory of what the commerical related, just the impact seeing it related to, for me a pleasure, especially since I read your poem right after, and that brought a great feeling to recognize that in you, our vocabulary is not dead. Every time you write something to resurrect some memory in my physe, and believe it or not I always come come feeling enlightened by your words, you are very knowledgeable, but look at your background, heart and soul into understanding it, a God given talent empowered by book. That my Freind/girl.....Love Ya, take care, Jo Mo (It's in great rememberance of Dylan Thomas, how can you go wrong).

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-07-21 16:24:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mell–The poetics in this are too numerous to go unnoticed: Internal/slant and end rimes; alliterations and assonance (of “O”, esp., lines #3, 4, and 5 of the first stanza. Unmatched analogies and fresh similes, i.e., last line of stanza #2 enjambing into line #1 of stanza #3,tag this as un-mistakenly Mellowish!! I am gonna go way out on a limb and guess that this is a unique, metaphoric, and satirical love story that the speaker has languished over, but penned anyway-smile. I will also state that this piece probably needs some tightening, but I don’t have any suggestions. Though I’m not familiar with Fern Hill, you certainly have to be one of those addressed by Walt Whitman in “Poets to Come”; share the sentiments of Marianne Moore-“I May, I Might, I Must”; or question along with Christina Georgina Rossetti-“Who Has Seen The Wind” (maybe all three-in light of this latest offering). TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2004-07-20 17:45:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mell, Did you just discover Thomas? I would imagine, since i know you think the world of Hart Crane, that Thomas also gets you going. Having just read your poem, I put that mildy. He's one of my favorites, too. That "In My Craft and Sullen Art" is in the top ten of all time, probably - i never got down to listing me top ten: In my craft or sullen art Exercised in the still night When only the moon rages And the lovers lie abed With all their griefs in their arms, I labour by singing light Not for ambition or bread Or the strut and trade of charms On the ivory stages But for the common wages Of their most secret heart. Not for the proud man apart From the raging moon I write On these spindrift pages, Nor for the towering dead With their nightingales and psalms But for the lovers, their arms Round the griefs of the ages, Who pay no praise or wages Nor heed my craft or art. This is a site about poetry, so i thought i'd just paste that here. But damn, i think the site i pasted this from has the punctuation screwy, but it's grandness still comes across. Crane and Thomas. When it comes to the "magic" of words, it doesn't get any more magical than that. Anyway, your O lust has opened . . . I much ever be on guard against pornographic orthographic lexicographic tendencies. To me, the mere shape of an O . . . opens imaginative doors. Speaking of the lascivious nature of O, and the capacities of language to open doors of sexual meaning, have you ever read Partridge's Shakespeare's Bawdy? Those who think the Bard is quaint and classical, archaic and Roman toga'd, don't realize what a horney bugger he was. I love the way you really O-pen yourself up here. This is grandly theatrical, just like your O. I can't help but associate this with Romeo and Juliet, the type of language and theater Shakespeare reached in that effort. Suggestions goodly sexual and allusions to Thomas. Now I'm all riled up. I'm of a mind to finish a Ginsberg poem i'm working on, which is not sexual per se, but . . . now i'm off to see what i can do. "Pleasure like a post-coital murgeon, / Minus the coitus like roe without a sturgeon." Smiles all around. Thanks to you. Mark

This Poem was Critiqued By: G. Donald Cribbs On Date: 2004-07-20 17:40:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mell, This poem truly smacks of the "poetic voice," that clear, undefineable, yet clearly unmistakable voice that a gifted poet has. This poem has such wit and character. I laughed and laughed as I read it over and again. Wow. Wow. Wow. I am amazed at how well you weave the irony of such an odd thing to write a love poem about, and yet, how original all the same...and how easily and seamlessly you weave Dylan Thomas and somewhat TOO much of a confessional nature to you're poem...heh heh, talk about brutally honest!! You may have "mad kudos" from me. Loved it, loved it, loved it!! My only poetical suggestion is to consider a revision with a bit of attention to the internal rhymes you've so beautifully laid down the middle of the page. Loved how the letter m surrounded the letter "o" like a horny lover throughout the poem. Very well done, my friend. Warm regards, Don

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