This Poem was Submitted By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-09-13 09:25:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Big Catch
After the rain last night
I snuck out of bed
With flashlight in hand
I walked through the grass
Flashing here, flashing there
Just looking and hoping
You should have seen the worms
Gathered in one big spot
Like a revival they were
Just calling out to me
Dad, its going to be
A great night
Boat is all packed
Poles, buckets, worms
Even put in a snack
Just in case we get hungry
I can see the fish
As they break water
In the cove ahead
As I held both oars
Turning the boat around
Finding just the right spot
To put the anchor down
Seaweeds plenty here
What do you think?
Should be plenty of fish
So over the side
I lowered the rope
Which held the stone
Which held the boat
Then I cast out my line
It bobbed red and white and then.........
WOW.....its gone
Oh, there it is but look at it go
Hold on, dad yelled
I will help you reel it in
Heavy is not a word
I would use for this big fish
I tugged and pulled
I am just a little kid
What do you expect
The bucket was ready
To hold my fish
As soon as I pulled it in
But what to my wondering eyes
Should appear but two big eyes
An over sized head
All starring back at me
No way could I bring
This thing into our boat
But dad was well prepared
He gathered his hook
And scooped the neck
Of the head starring back at me
Its shell was wider then I have ever seen
Its legs they scrambled all around
The tail, though small was big enough
To cause my legs to go over the side
Safety is my motto at all cost
Dad yelled ...grab an oar...
Make sure to jab it in its mouth
Next time he opens it up
My hearts a pounding
The fear she is a popping
But I did as I was told
With this one catch we had to leave
No fish were to be caught that night
copyright Claire H. Currier |
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Copyright © September 2004 Claire H. Currier
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-07 17:17:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82500
Claire,
This was a very interesting poem, and of course it became more interesting near the end. I wanted to actually read more (smile).
You did a really good job of tricking me. I thought this would be just about another father/son fishing trip where lots of fish were caught.
So, I was surprised about the big head and big eyes. I'm just curious . . . but I think I missed out on that point. Was it a huge fish or a human head? I think I may have misread or just inherently missed something.
On one hand, I thought that you were writing a Halloween poem (smile), but then again I was not sure.
This poem reads well, smoothly and keeps the reader's interest. Thanks for sharing it at TPL this month. It was a joy to read.
Latorial
www.latorial.com
This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2004-10-04 18:32:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Wow, Claire, this is a fun fish story! It has so many small details that it must be true, right? You've nicely adopted the youthful diction of your childhood self, and I like the way the sequence of events is unfolded, from gathering worms to the final decision that brings the pair back to shore.
I can easily imagine the whole scene, because you've given so many visual images. I get a chuckle out of the excerpt from The Night before Christmas: "when what to my wondering eyes should appear", which any child would find familiar. When the eyes and head appear, though, I'm puzzled by what the heck it is!! A sea turtle, I think. I've never really seen one up close, except in captivity, but the shell and the neck are the giveaways. That must have been terrifying for a little girl, face to face with such a "monster" when she's only expecting a fish.
Couple of typos: staring and it's for "it is", as in L11. No biggies.
I enjoyed reading this one. Narrative poetry is a favorite of mine and the story has to be good or I don't get drawn into it. Yours held me till the end.
Take Care,
Brenda
This Poem was Critiqued By: Wanda S. Thibodeaux On Date: 2004-09-15 00:13:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Claire,
Delighted to see your latest, spontaneous and natural makes it fresh and interesting.
A childhood memory well worth the saving. At least you didn't catch an old army boot.
Must have been a huge turtle.
I screamed when you mentioned worms and snack in the same breath, guess I'm not a
fisherwoman. I couldn't hook one, clean one, and then eat one. I'd have to lose
the first two steps or the last one would be impossible.
Sounds like you had a fine time with your dad, you write it so naturally like it was
just yesterday. It has such warmth, really gives us a feel of what it must have been
like on the boat that night.
I so enjoyed this. You should submit more often. Hope you are well.
Take good care.
Best always,
Wanda
This Poem was Critiqued By: Gerard A Geiger On Date: 2004-09-14 13:06:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Claire;
Thanks for this delightful and frightening
tale about your Big Catch fishing with your father
one night in your youth, when you hooked
a snapping turtle. OI especially like the
realism displayed in the following stanza:
Its shell was wider then I have ever seen
Its legs they scrambled all around
The tail, though small was big enough
To cause my legs to go over the side
Safety is my motto at all cost.
How a very young Claire dealt with the
wild interloper in her boat...
sometimes bailing out is the only thing to do!!!
Thanks for this sharing this delightful memory.
Gerard
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-09-13 14:56:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Hi Claire,
What a treat to see a poem from you on my list! And what a fish story this is...
was this person you as a child? I never fished as a child but my husband and I spent
many a day fishing from a boat and sometimes from the bank and sometimes in a Beaver
dam...so I can relate to this amusing and wonderful tale. You must have caught a rather
large turtle and I can see the excitment inside the boat as your imagery is so clear
in this story. Stories, such as this one, stay with us for a lifetime and they can far
out weigh the sadder things we remember....'I lowered the rope which held the stone which
held the boat'...I especially like this line and have read it several times to hear the
cadence of the words. I can't imagine a child having to stab an oar into the turtle's
mouth but we do what we have to and when we were raised we always obeyed! I also got a
big grin when I read about the night crawlers! I remember crawling along the lawn with
flashlight in one hand and the other ready to grab those slimy critters before they could
slither back under ground. I remember the first time my husband took me night crawler
hunting he was amazed as well as amused that I was not frightened and picked them up with
no hesitation. This is such a memorable tale...thanks for posting it and I hope you will
write us another adventure...you have been away too long. Hope you are well.
Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jana Buck Hanks On Date: 2004-09-13 12:15:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Oh Claire, I set spell bound reading this piece...I am out there in the boat with you two. I feel the rocking of the boat as you fight with the catch...and what a catch! Sounds like New England to me. Your diction is wonderful.
Bright Blessings
Jana
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-09-13 11:44:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.89474
This brings backs memories for me of going out fishing with my dad and four of my brothers, our boat leaked quite a bit so two of us had to bail out all the time, and mostly what we got on our lines were turtles, This poem flows like casual conversation which I'll asume was the intent, Thanks for letting me read and comment.
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