This Poem was Submitted By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2004-09-19 14:52:51 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Bearers of Vision

For we ever journey onward through the darkness, as if we were wearing the very darkness, carrying the very darkness, sharing,  all of us, sharing the very darkness that has defined our vision, combined our vision refined our vision, into a small, thin, dim  blue beam of light. Even so, there are those among us who somehow know,  we have all the light we need.

Copyright © September 2004 Rick Barnes

Additional Notes:
For Roni

This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-06 00:30:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Rick, this is what I call a poem. It's like you were sitting and had a sudden glimpse or recollection or an idea of something profound, and you took a moment to write it down before you lost your great thought. I have moments like this, and the result are poems like the one you have penned here. Poetry is a great way to express the questions and concerns that we have about life. Poetry is also the best avenue for becoming literarily ironic serving up twists and turns in our modes, moods and modulations of thoughts. You spend a great deal of time discussing the darkness throughout this poem, and then you come back in the last line with "we have all the light we need." How oxymoronically stunning! I like the style and breadth of this poem. It pierced my soul, and my spirit bleed for knowledge of why we continue to exist in such a serious time sa this. Thanks for sharing this poem at TPL this month. I enjoyed reading it, and I look forward to reading more. Latorial www.latorial.com

This Poem was Critiqued By: Amour Stakwi'a Dresbach On Date: 2004-09-28 20:03:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Nicely expressed in a short piece. To the point, it shows humanity and it shows those who are exceptions to the rule of common things.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-09-21 17:36:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rick: See what happens when I go away and come back? Rick Barnes writes "light" - more than enough, and exquisite sound. I was immediately spellbound by the rhythm of "darkness/very darkness" and also "vision" repeated three times. And by "wearing/sharing" I was truly hypnotized, so that when I can to "a small, thin, dim/blue beam of light" I could feel and see it; it became not only visionary but palpable. I want to spend a little more time with the specifics: For we ever journey onward through the darkness, as if we were wearing the very darkness, carrying the very darkness, sharing, all of us, sharing the very darkness that has defined our vision, combined our vision refined our vision, into a small, thin, dim blue beam of light. The rhythm of "journey ever onward" is march-like, catching us in mid-moment. You are speaking to me as an individual and to all of us as "we" -- this reminds me of a parade I observed from several standpoints last spring. It was a parade of school children, at the end of the year. I walked with them, beside them, behind them and then somehow, ended up, as they made a complete turn-around, at the front of them. It is much like the effect of this poem -- looking at something in motion from several perspectives there is no escaping the experience that we are *all* experiencing this 'journey' and it is unending, turning on itself, as long as we are "sharing" it. How do we do so? In darkness. As we continue, what changes is ONLY OUR VISION! You speak of definition of this vision, of combining and refining until what we perceive becomes "a small, thin, dim blue beam of light." It is as if combined experiences of millennia are refined into the present moment - or the past - or future - but what emerges is the very dim "blue" beam of light. We become focused on that, in our massed way of perceiving things, and follow it because it leads (or seems to do so) us out of darkness. In the repetitive cycles of experience, we catch a 'dim' light and, though we have created it, we zero in on it as if our continued existence depends upon it. That light could be a world religion, a prophetic figure, an idée fixe, perhaps. But then, you show us without a doubt the illusionary nature of what we believe we must 'follow' at all costs: Even so, there are those among us who somehow know, we have all the light we need. Indeed, Rachel gives us her knowledge without stint, leading the way, always. And you, Rick, are one of those. One who helps us 'remember' what it was that was lost, that which resides within, and is indestructible. As always your poetics are refined, economical, and --- more than appears at first reading. The assonance of "so/those/know" for example. The poem is like the point at which I found myself, seemingly by accident, at the head of the parade I was originally following. In our connection, we are encircling something. You show us what that might be. At the moment we all 'wake up' even poetry and music will not describe what it was that we sought. But for now, this is a sublime foretaste of things to come. Thank you for your generous ways with poetry and light and. . . Awesome-ness, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2004-09-20 11:17:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Rick This poem is amazing Brechtian in its play of light and darkness – profound in its implications and written with the skill of a master poet. If I thought for a minute that I was the Roni to whom it is dedicated I would pleased beyond measure. The Bearers of Vision For we ever journey onward through the darkness, as if we were wearing the very darkness, carrying the very darkness, sharing, all of us, sharing the very darkness that has defined our vision, combined our vision refined our vision, into a small, thin, dim blue beam of light. Even so, there are those among us who somehow know, we have all the light we need.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2004-09-19 20:16:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ricko: An intriguing trek you delineate for your readers, one that challenges to proceed to fumble along in the dark with others, a darkness shared with other travelers in a unique manner that poet seems scarcely able to name. If these enlightened ones who travel in darkness, cannot name the blue light ahead....what of us? So there you are, uniting in an intimacy in the dark among these felt-more-than-seen- people. And you have a same experience that would bond or bind you beyond two or three hours in the dark. It feels timeless here but I have no vocabulary for measures of time other than our own: minutes, hours, days, etc. And from this unique experience of bonding to others to comprehend the light "...refined our vision into a small, thin, dim blue of light." You end your poem with the observation that there are likely some among us who somehow know, we have all the light we need. Now for that closer look at blue, I chose several dictionaries and was most amazed at the myriad definitions of blue. I candidly state I do not know what your blue beam may mean. It reminds me of a laser light since it's a beam, a blue-nose, a flickering tv at night. But your juxtaposition here seems to tell me that in life's reality, we humans stumble along but while that is occuring, there are among us those who have all the light they need and are aware or perhaps wonder at the need for light searching. And I agree we are given what is needed to live a meaningful life. I really love this but the basic metaphor can be so many things when you write in a less-constrained manner. I so enjoy wading the shores of your poems. Here rolls in a big wave that gets my feet wet but it feels a life-giving experience ...like the entirety of your entire pond, lake, etc. Thanks for posting. The water vapor in its effulgience (one blue beam) beckons us to a life of serenity. The structure, pace, and flow are such Barnesisms, I would recognize them among an array of poetry. Those who "bear the vision" such as Roni are lifelines to those of us in need of a boat or lifeline. I know your enchanting salute will put a smile on her beautiful face. Thanks for sharing with all. Mell-0
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-09-19 19:17:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.19512
It seems to me to read better broken into stanzas of; For we ever journey onward through the darkness, as if we were wearing the very darkness, carrying the very darkness sharing, all of us, sharing the very darkness. That has defined our vision, combined our vision refined our vision, into a small, thin, dim blue beam of light. Even so, there are those among us who somehow know, we have all the light we need. It seems like two distinct thoughts, Thanks for letting me read and comment.
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