This Poem was Submitted By: Amour Stakwi'a Dresbach On Date: 2004-10-05 10:39:33 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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A Child One of the greatest things
By far
Is a child
And yet man still sits back
And wonders
At machines
And makes more devices
And builds
More buildings
While a small, growing child
Is beyond
Comprehension
And can do so many things
Wonderfully
In this world
That no invention ever can
In this world
Of deception
Wherein the life of a child
Defies all else
By way of awe. |
|
Copyright © October 2004 Amour Stakwi'a Dresbach
This Poem was Critiqued By: Karen Ann Jacobs On Date: 2004-11-02 14:48:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
As I read this poem, my mind played out the lives of my sons. I’m all warm and fuzzy. Part of my favorite things about Halloween was all the adorable little children having fun and looking so cute!
I caught a yearning in your poem for a simpler time, when family and not things sat at the top of the list of importance. The pendulum swings both ways and I hope we, as a culture, will start swinging back towards family and away from things, soon.
Thank you for sharing this thought provoking poem.
Kay-Ren
This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2004-10-12 20:24:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.38462
Thanks for replying to my critique of The Dawn of a New Thought. It really cleared things up for me and I stopped feeling so inadequate. Now that I know the reasons behind your word choices, it makes your composition all the more extraordinary.
To contemplate the complexities of the fallibility of man's logic is one of the most enjoyable, satisfying targets for poetry in my opinion. Nothing lends itself so easily to scrutiny and critique than the haphazard, often ridiculous ways of man. You could really give this poem a spark by comparing something as simple as a child's hand as it grows from the impractical instrument of destruction, into the pragmatic tool of grasper/manipulator (then back into destructive instrument for a real twist), with the stationary machine, redundant in its limited capacities etc., etc.....or some other examples to bring your comparisons to life.. Nice write in its simplicity
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-11 18:17:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Amour,
This is a very thought provoking and profound poem on something that we, as people, take for granted daily. We take for granted the gifts and talents that are hidden within our children.
It makes you wonder why a man or woman would sit and fiddle with a machine or computer all day when that same time or at least some of it could be invested in releasing what's inside a child's mind.
The world over is filled with children in need of guidance, stimulation and encouragement, and I just wish that it was more our natural instinct to not overlook them.
Thanks for writing this poem and sharing it at TPL this month. It read like a charm. The lines move swiftly, and it's clear and succinct. The meaning has value, and it possesses a rhythm so appropriate. Again, thanks for sharing, and I'll take these words to heart.
Latorial
www.latorial.com
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-10-05 15:48:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Who can not be charmed by a poem of the little wonders who wander into our world, changing everything and challenging everything, seeing through their eyes, hearing through their ears with a perspective we cannot dream of.they are little marvels.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Gerard A Geiger On Date: 2004-10-05 12:55:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Amour;
This poem in free verse with the repitition
of in this world...brings home to the reader
the concept that nothing is more awesome than
a child. Throughout the world the most impoverished
under medicated,malnutritioned people on this planet
are children....many of whom carry the scars and deformities
of simple vitamin deficiency throughout
their lives. This poem is simple in its
concept but profound in its ability to look past all
the celebrated modern mechanical marvels and home in
on the basic miracle of a child...and how this
primary building block of civilization is overlooked
by a world population programmed to create bigger and better
mechanical (and automated) commodities.
Thanks for writing about something which really counts...
the future leadership of the world...our children
truly nothing is more awesome and profound.
Thanks for sharing this piece, Amour.
Gerard
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