This Poem was Submitted By: Robert Wyma On Date: 2004-10-08 14:52:04 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Incubating The Dream (Arthurian Ode Part II)

Arthur called for wisdoms guiding light to weigh Merlin’s claim of custodial good by soulful flight, through heavens height to a dream unveiled and understood. The mists of slumber subdued his mind bringing sleep to an unwitting king seeking sublime, through vision divine vetting a choice the angels would bring. Ethereal dreams descended to clear daunting doubts that humble the great holding him dear, the angels drew near painting the promise in Camelot’s fate. Arthur wove through visions, invested in stone quarried by masons who chiseled the gift that balanced Rome, his castle was home to sources and secrets chaliced in myth. Across the water, he saw the vine bright in a bride history would veil nurtured in signs, for a far distant time the grafted branch of an Arthurian Grail. Arthur saw the cause in high intent as righteous minds burnished the true through calamity sent, and good men bent knights would fight for a future he knew. And the leavening light from a heavenly fire scorched the hordes that plagued the way while he groomed the higher, in the right to aspire through destiny invested in earthly displays. Then emptiness fell like eternities edge leaving him wrapped in darkest dark weeping in pledge, his promise would hedge the future that Merlin was set to start. Rising in courage, and tearful regret he lifted exhausted to his morning quest upon this was set, the vows to be met with destinies’ bride on shores to the west. “With Merlin and bride, my forces shall combine the vision and purpose refined in my dreams I shall become fit, as my soul shall permit To protect the purpose of the Grail and her stream.”

Copyright © October 2004 Robert Wyma

Additional Notes:
And so it continues....... Thanks all. Robert

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-10-18 16:53:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Robert, I'm really out of my element with King Arthur and The Holy Grail/Knights of the Roundtable. This keeps popping up on my list so I thought I'd at least try. I like the, rhyming in third line of each stanza.Which carried the rhyme in the 1st/3rd line And then also rhyme every other line all're a genius. and to do it so it's almost unnoticed. You are the real magician as I see it! You've put alot of work into this great piece. King Arthur/the epitome of good against evil/ was told in a dream that he should wed Gwenevere, combining their vision and purpose.[for good!] Your wording is almost of that era.Wisdom/veils/quest/destiny/dreams I just visited your Arthurian land and it was wonderful. A goblet of wine lifted to you, Always your friend, Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-10-15 12:49:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Dear Robert: This is an ambitious work, rich with symbolism, and mystery. There are so many layers of this story included in part II -- it is a feast for those who are interested in the mythology/history of Kind Arthur, and one that won't end soon, thankfully. My own background on Arthur is rather sketchy, and I appreciate your series of poems for weaving the thread of this story with such finesse and with allegories as to the underlying meanings. I am in agreement with thinkers who believe that historical figures can also be mythological, and the obverse. There is one school of thought that assigns Arthur to Arcturus. Not only was Arcturus identified with Arthur, but the constellation known as the 'Plough' has been identified as Arthur's (wain) wagon. As Sir Walter Scott expressed it the early nineteenth century: Arthur's slow wain his course doth roll, In utter darkness round the pole; The Northern Bear lowers black and grim; Orion's studded belt is dim; Twinkling faint, and distant far, Shimmers through mist each planet star, Ill may I read their high decree! Sir Walter Scott, 1805, 'The Lay of the Last Minstrel', Canto First, Verse XVII. I love what you are doing with this series, and can only assist in a tiny way in your effort which seems inspired. I have some tiny edits to suggest, but please know that I admire this work, and your intent for the work, far beyond concern for minutiae. Suggestions within parentheses are for additions, within brackets, omissions. Arthur called for (wisdom's) guiding light to weigh Merlin’s claim of custodial good by soulful flight, through (heaven's) height -- sublime to a dream unveiled and understood. The mists of slumber subdued his mind bringing sleep to an unwitting king(,) seeking sublime[,] through vision divine vetting a choice the angels would bring. Ethereal dreams descended to clear daunting doubts that humble the great(;) holding him dear, the angels drew near painting the promise in Camelot’s fate. Arthur wove through visions, invested in stone quarried by masons who chiseled the gift --esoteric mystery suggested here? that balanced Rome, his castle was home to sources and secrets chaliced in myth. ('chaliced' as a verb is wonderful) Across the water, he saw the vine bright in a bride history would veil nurtured in signs, for a far distant time the grafted branch of [an] Arthurian Grail. -- only a suggestion Arthur saw the cause in high intent as righteous minds burnished the true through calamity sent, and good men bent(.) (K)nights would fight for a future he knew. And the leavening light from a heavenly fire --WONDERFUL! scorched the hordes that plagued the way while he groomed the higher, in the right to aspire through destiny invested in earthly displays. Then emptiness fell like (eternity's) edge leaving him wrapped in darkest dark weeping in pledge, his promise would hedge the future that Merlin was set to start. Rising in courage, and tearful regret he lifted exhausted to his morning quest(:) upon this was set, the vows to be met with (destiny's) bride on shores to the west. “With Merlin and bride, my forces shall combine the vision and purpose refined in my dreams(;) I shall become fit, as my soul shall permit (to) protect the purpose of the Grail and her stream.” Robert, I can't wait to read the next part. This is well-written and exciting. It is fresh and new again to me and no doubt to other readers. One can be exposed many times to something before it begins to 'take' if you will. Bravo! Good luck to you in this splendid endeavor. My best always, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2004-10-12 10:13:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I love the rhyme scheme here. Almost "limerickal". Is this about the "Sword and the Stone" sort of? I am grossly ignorant of the medieval genre, but this poem definately has a noble, valiant air to it. "Ethereal dreams", "quarried by masons", and "chaliced in myth" are all wonderfully descriptive phrases that really pique the imagination, and your use of alliteration is sometimes subtle (emptiness fell like eternities edge) and sometimes blatant (dreams descended to clear daunting doubts). Very nice.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-10-10 17:34:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Do I have anything to add to what I said of the first, not really except that once again its a pleasure to read, I can't say I'm real objective when it comes to anything about merlin and authur. I'm always a sucker for a round table tale.
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