This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2004-10-09 00:56:16 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Night Pacing

Relentlessly restless Fervishly pacing Wearing a path on the floor Heartbeat a-fluttering Nervous palms sweating Drip with worry to the door Mechanisms need checked The door locked tonight One round to go till she soars Aimlessly wandering Shaky knees buckling Under her weight just once more Persistently watching Endlessly waiting The one thought that appeases Vulnerable terrifieds Anxiously ready To fight the diseases Deppression unlifted She reaches for lies Hoping they will remedy But alas she’s alone Nobody is home What a comic tragedy The younger ones inside Peer out from behind Older ones knowingly blind To horror before her That nothing can aid Til she comes out of her mind The terror now passing Hands stop their sweating Heartbeat slows down once again She’s back to her checking Once more awaiting Panic’s next attacking wend

Copyright © October 2004 Mandie J Overocker

Additional Notes:
For anyone who has ever experienced flashbacks and panic attacks. Lack of punctuation intentional.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Amour Stakwi'a Dresbach On Date: 2004-10-17 14:56:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Very well-expressed. The poem flowed throughout. I've never read anything on this subject and you've done well to portray the subject. Although I didn't initially glean that this was about a panic attack, the sense of panic and a frantic state are easy to recognize within the lines. spelling 7.1 depression

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-10-15 19:07:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.89286
This poem reads franticly which I'm sure is the point, it keeps the on edge feeling throughout - in my head I get a ba-boom ba-boom ba- boom sense of urgency and can feel the palms start to persire from the start- Thanks for the good read.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-10-10 23:51:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Dear Amanda, The reader can feel the "anxiety" jumping out from the page on this poem. I'm feeling tense, nervous and alone as I read this. I'm thinking this is exactly the kind of mood you wanted to create - so you definitely have achieved that. I'm happy that the writer understands the "panic" and does not completely loose control. Unfortunately for those that suffer panic attacks - they are much too difficult to explain to someone who has never had one, only those that have experienced them can understand completely how the mind takes control of the body as you describe, sweaty palms, racing heart etc., and that horrible impending doom that slowly subsides as the panic attack wears off. This is a good poem, people need to be aware of this - because so many suffer from panic attacks. Good job. sincerely, DeniMari
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-10-09 16:05:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Amanda, I don't know if this is your own situation or perhaps someone your worked with (I read your bio)...but either way you did a wonderful job of telling the inner most fears of a panic attack. Also I picked up on some OCD behaivor as you mention the constant checking of the door latch. In every stanza you describe the horror of one afflicted with this devastating illness. The pacing, restlessness, fluttering heart beats, sweating, knees shaking, write a plethora of symptoms and I found my own heart beating fast as I read. You have a couple of typos (til & terrifieds) however they do not detract from the theme of the piece at all. Very well done and an enjoyable read. BLessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-10-09 13:59:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Amanda, Believe it or not, I wrote a critique for this realistic piece already and then lost it. So I'll try to remember everything I said the first time.(Ha. As if) I find this to be extremely real. An experience the writter may have had. And actually I can re relate to the panic part of this piece, because I had the pleasure of pacing and worrying a few times when my children missed curfew. But this piece is so much more then that. There is the flashback to a time when the writter was younger. A dread that is carried over with the anxiety and panic. You bring the reader along with you in this well written poem. I know it can't be easy to write such a piece, and you have done an excellent job conveying the feelings that go with it. Thanks for sharing, Blessings, Jennifer
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