This Poem was Submitted By: Robert Wyma On Date: 2004-10-11 15:02:58 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

Evolutionary Fractals

Spinning lives upon the narrow branch of nearly falling dangling seeds of good and right honour and grace often unseen discovery is hidden until leafy fractals enriched through purpose seek the sun of selfless true blooming in the smallest gifts daily demonstrated as each seeks to serve unnoticed one child’s hunger one outstretched hand one elderly tear compassionately aware of hidden limits embraced by all as the first pledge to rise beyond loss and isolating pain is demonstrated through singular choices that emerge that enshrine that ensoul the spiral course.

Copyright © October 2004 Robert Wyma

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-11-03 09:34:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.77778
Hi Robert, I really enjoyed this one. As I read, I realized that you've created a multilayered meaning here in these lines. In fact, as I finished reading I had a picture of the double helix of DNA spiraling around my mind which expanded to strand of different people and the course of their lives and choices that they make and all of it spiraling around inside my head. I've seen alot of fractals and have always enjoyed looking at them, but the fractals referred to in this poem look really awesome! Wow, did someone slip me some LSD? lol jk. But seriously this is the kind of evolution I find extremely intersting and I find this vivid imagry very well done. I find the creative structure you fashoined by your free style very pleasing to the eye and flowing very naturally. Thanks for sharing this on TPL. Blessings, JEnnifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-10-15 20:02:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.14286
Hi Robert, You are so deep, I only hope I 'got' it. The seeds are full of good, right, honor, grace. Each planting and blooming showing it's true self. As do us.We are born and bloom to show our true self. Our goodness shows in our compassion to help others and thus evolve ourselves. [the spiral choice] You've written well and very meaningfull. Powerful thought. My best to you my friend, Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-10-11 16:56:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Robert: Whew! I did one small task after first viewing this, and it's already slipped down on my list, which shows it's being read and critiqued quickly. Always a good sign. <smile> There is so much depth to this piece, that I think I shall have to save some of my comments for an email. Time is a bit limited today, as I am trying to make some train reservations. But I will work in as much of my thoughts and reflections to this piece as possible as time allows. It seems a distillation of a lifetime's reflections, and parts of it will simmer in my consciousness until I can extract the full flavor. I absolutely drooled at the word "fractals" in your title, as they are one of my favorite concepts (discoveries). Spinning lives upon the narrow branch of nearly falling --you show the risk of living as spirits embodied in clay dangling seeds of good and right honour and grace often unseen discovery is hidden until leafy fractals enriched ---WONDERFUL! through purpose seek the sun of selfless true (ah, the key, which is embedded in the word 'selfless') blooming Your formatting of the work allows the reader's eye to flow effortlessly down the page, absorbing the sense of motion, the energy of gentle seeking, and strong curiosity. I think the essence of a good poem for me is freshness, excitement about its theme and the thrill of discovery of another's POV: you provide all of these, and more. Your poetics, for example, the soft fricative f's in "leafy/fractals" bespeaks a gentle, lyrical awareness of nature and what lies beyond/beneath it. "spinning lives/dangling seeds" is ecstatic imagery, and appeals to my every sense -- subtle and sensual at once. in the smallest gifts daily demonstrated as each seeks to serve unnoticed The modest way that these gifts are illustrated belies the greatness of their return to giver, in participation, "daily" and "unnoticed"! one child’s hunger one outstretched hand ---sublime message, so needed now one elderly tear compassionately aware of hidden limits embraced by all as the first pledge to rise beyond loss and isolating pain is demonstrated through singular choices that emerge that enshrine that ensoul the spiral course. The repeated "that" emphasizes the unfoldment, the developmental rhythm of fractals. "ensoul the spiral course" sends shivers up and down my spine, dear author. I am encouraged with your compassionate words to "rise beyond loss" which could otherwise deflect me from my course. And then, I realize, that we are on this course together. Reading this for me has been (and will be again, and again) an unitive experience. Thank you for the incredible insights and most of all, for the music behind the words. The soulfulness of this piece lights the way for a lonely traveler today. How graceful you are, and how grateful is this reader. All my best, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-10-11 16:30:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.68750
the replication of simple shapes grow into astounding surprises and you've captured in many images of this poem. Thanks for letting me read and comment.
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to Database Page!