This Poem was Submitted By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2004-10-12 16:47:28 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!
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Copyright © October 2004 Debbie Spicer
The villain of seasons ago,
you required my flesh.
Welcoming me so that you could
seize me unprepared.
Using your defiled grasp,
invading me, into my abundance,
each time more scorching than the previous.
Piercing your mortality into my domain.
Torture was not enough. Sowing your being
for my disgrace was your intent.
It was I who encountered the aftermath
...hid the secret
......even from myself.
Any even despite my fight,
you would not cease.
You allowed the another to pierce the
very breath of my soul.
The venom that suffocated my gasp,
almost took my spirit.
The pain that was unwrapped
and pulled at my entire being,
probing for years after.
The mortality grew within
but that which you intended
The journey has been extended,
The remembrance of torment
in of itself devastating.
Again, your defiled grasp strived
to take my soul.
As I remember the anguish
of so many years ago,
when I was seized so unprepared.
I know now that I will prevail.
Copyright © July 2001 Debbie Spicer
This was my first poem written and submitted on TPL. It makes me realize how far I have come, how much you all have helped me heal, and thank you for the idea Marilyn so I can see the freedom I am gaining in my life. :) (I even saved the critiques, which were the essence of my healing!)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2004-10-15 11:44:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
This brings tears, once more, as I realize along with you that you have come
so far in your healing, and that you have allowed us to be part of that holy
process. It's always been an honor to call you friend and colleague; we are
'soul sisters' in our poetic view of things, in our need for healing of our
wounds (though different ones) and in our seeking this connection with those
of like mind. I am so proud of your courage, and uplifted by your strength
of spirit. I hope to read a new poem of yours soon.
All my best!
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-10-15 11:40:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.89286
I certainly would never underestimate the therapeutic power of writing poetry, its the laying on of hands ineffable that frees our voice. Thanks for letting me read and give a little comment, July of 2001 thats when I think I was here the first time, I wonder if I critiqued it Then?
This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2004-10-12 20:44:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I did not know you then, but have had the pleasure of knowing you since. We bumped in the TPL night to find a kindship so endearing that I treasure it. I am aware of some milestones in your healing journey and have shared memories. Your inital poem speaks of the poisonous past rearing its ugly head. Your strenght to endure and passion to live free again grew with this first "I know...prevail" statement. Our meeting is a testimony of the true success.
Nice to see your name in the ring again, friend.
Love and God bless, Andrea
This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2004-10-12 20:38:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.42857
I hope I'm not being too personal here, but this poem seems to be about being raped. Though I truly hope this is not the case, this piece could definately be used to help rape victims find release. "you required my flesh", "seize me unprepared." "Using your defiled grasp, invading me", "It was I who encountered the aftermath ...hid the secret.....intensely......even from myself." in the first stanza seem to scream of the personal horror, shame, and isolation that must accompany such an atrocious act of violence. You describe the ongoing process of pain, the relentless weight carried with the memory here-"Any even despite my fight, you would not cease." in the second stanza, but by the end, you begin to show the first steps on the road to personal redemption -"but that which you intended ever endured." And the third stanza ends with the proud defiance of one who has overcome great obstacles to be where you are-"As I remember the anguish of so many years ago, when I was seized so unprepared. I know now that I will prevail." Regardless of theme, this poem stands as a beacon, lighting the way for all who have struggled against great odds. Very brave to open yourself this way, and hopefully, very redeeming.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-12 17:10:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.36364
I only found a few typos in this one, I think:
Any even despite my fight, (And vs. Any?)
You allowed the another to pierce the (other vs. another)
Now, on to the poem . . .
This is a very interesting poem, and it seems to contend with the idea that we all face from time to time - dealing with the alter egos that we have (smile) that sometime fall to the dark side or bad decisions or simply doing bad things every now and then. Well, let's hope it's only every now and then (smile).
I think the title is above average for a first poem, and so is what follows. I can't believe this was one of your first poems. Anyway, it just shows that your creative talent was strong even then.
I know that you have blossomed and bloomed since this very poem, but this one is special also. It is filled with profound phrases and thoughts. You speak of season's and the underlining theme of the devil invading your space, your mind, is evident throughout the poem. You illustrate the struggle well, and you command the poem well.
Thanks for sharing, and I look forward to reading more. Again, this was a great first poem.
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