This Poem was Submitted By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2004-10-16 14:46:52 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


I relinquish myself each time I gaze into your eyes,  perceiving feelings recognized only once before. Your spirit pierces my heart completely, with a yearning that refuses to retreat. I have found tranquility, which has come from no other, unrelenting exclusively while you are in my sight.  Confusing emotions and yet powerful they actuate, decided devotion that is held intimately within me. You overflow my spirit with assurance and purpose, with uniqueness which I privately can't deny! Having passion for you may only be an illusion, you are not within my reach; yet the desire will not pass. I am perplexed and intensely bewildered by you, knowing that boundaries are unyielding between us. I have searched so laboriously to find peace and balance, now this discovery takes me totally unprepared. You’ve brought out desperate and profound feelings, more than anyone has touched in an eternity. As intricate as reality is, they arise evident to me, affection for you forbidden, yet desiring for it to ensue.  This commitment is not ordinary in ways expected,  perhaps only requesting that you love me as I am.  For what I yearn for from you is respect untainted, the tenderness of your touch when you are close by. I know it is infeasible to experience all of you, by virtue of who you are and the limitations set before us. You have supplied me with adventures to glance at life anew, I honestly didn’t anticipate this love I have for you.

Copyright © October 2004 Debbie Spicer

Additional Notes:
My only published poem, just wanted comments from my friends at TPL!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2004-11-06 11:03:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Debbie, This piece is extremely honest. The nakedness of the speaker's need is apparent, and quite directly stated. Her ambivalence is equally clear: she doesn't want to give in to this passion, yet she also cannot end it. She is aware it exists, yet believes she can content herself with respect and tenderness rather than taking it to another level. She feels drawn to the other person, but also unsuitable for his romantic attention (or the genders can be reversed; or whatever ... any combination would apply here). This reads almost like a woman in love with her minister/doctor/teacher/lawyer or anyone else in a position of trust. There is a distance between them, necessitated by the other party's relationship to the speaker. Yet the speaker longs to bridge it, realizing she probably never will: Having passion for you may only be an illusion, you are not within my reach; yet the desire will not pass. I am perplexed and intensely bewildered by you, knowing that boundaries are unyielding between us. The other possibility that suggests itself to me is that the speaker is discovering God and feels unworthy to come into His presence, even as she admits that she's already there. The language of the poem is not sexual - it is impassioned but not sensually passionate, if that makes sense. The closest it comes to a physical expression is when it refers to the tenderness of touch, and even that can also apply to Christ, or a parental figure, or a close companion. So the object of her adoration could easily be taken as a divine figure, with very few edits. If You were capitalized, it would certainly be interpreted as the confused self-argument of a soul newly aware of its own existence, and seeking oneness with God. It could readily become a religious poem, although not overtly because there are no specifics as to the individuals involved. It's just "you" and "I/me". I'm not sure about the rhyme in the last two lines. It stands out because you aren't using rhyme elsewhere. However, that is a personal reaction and others may not motice. The overall style is very accessible to the reader and certainly complements this theme. Sorry I can't critique in more depth - we've had one death in the family this week and another seems likely to occur in the near future. I'm finding comfort in reading poetry this morning. I hope you are well. Hard to believe another year is almost finished! ((hugs from NS)) Brenda

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-10-22 10:47:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.93750
I found this poem very compelling and holding up to reeated reading which is something I always like in a poem, sometimes the after a couple of readings a poem or anything experienced just isn't the same but other times like in your poem here it opens up to reveal more.Thanks for letting me read and comment.
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-10-18 11:50:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Hi Debbie, It is easy to see why this poem was is just delicious. It has an air of mystry that is compelling..I have read it several times and each time it makes me feel the same. Sometimes unrequited love can be the most intense and the most passionate. If I had to guess who is/was the target of your affection I would say he is a professional you admire and look up to so intensely that it feels like love. However, you only long for his respect and a touch from him is enough as you know you can never 'experience all of him.' This intensity blind-sided you as it was not your intent to let this happen but it did and you struggle to control your love and admiration of this man. ...'your spirit pierces my heart completely'...this is a lovely line....'you overflow my spirit with assurance and purpose'...not easy to deny feelings for such a person who gives you these feelings....'you have brought out desperate and profound feelings'..again this man has overwhelmed you and I can't help but wonder if he knows or has ever known how profound your affection is for him? It is difficult for any man to resist a woman who loves like this....the last line....'I honestly didn't anticipate this love I have for you'. the desperation comes out in this closing line but more than that there is a fundamental sadness that grips this reader and wants this love to be a reality just to ease your pain. I hope I haven't completely fractured the intent of this piece! Let it suffice to say it is well written and beautiful and I can't help but wish I had written it! Blessings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-10-16 22:32:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.45455
Hi Debbie, You have it bad for one untouchable. But that energy/emotion could be turned to you for something good and helpful. You're expansion in your ability to love so profoundly will carry you to new heights in every realm... and that is good. Never not love because of the risk or the pain. Just love........ I liked the hidden rhyming....emotion/devotion I think you could shorten the poem as you say the same sort of thing repeatedly. But I do get your point, he's completely discombobulated your heart. Good ability to get your feelings and thoughts across. Very sweet, Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-10-16 18:03:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.48485
This is beautiful Debbie. The words ebb and flow throughout the poem very nicely. Aside from the poetics of this poem, the most important, most glaring thing about this poem is the meaning that it encompasses. You tell a great story of a love that you have for this special someone, and I think that it is all said within the right frame of mind. It's a love that seems to not be able to exist. It can be devastating to find yourself in a position like this, because love is such a beautiful thing. It can also be a very dangerous thing. It's also obvious that you know the ground that you are treading on with love in this poem, and I see this as not a threatening poem, but a rendition of letting this other individual know the depths of your feelings. It's a poem that had to be written, feelings that had to be revealed. It's a telling poem, and that's what makes it special. Thanks for sharing it at TPL this month. I certainly enjoyed reading it. Latorial
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to Database Page!