This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2004-10-28 05:19:03 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Because you’re at the coalface of the act and have words, the expectation’s that       you can make me understand. You can’t. I saw you dip your hand under a little lake of flame, in wonder       compelled by a burning bauble. That first was years ago, the baubles change or maybe all they do, like tastes, is age       and expand your vocabulary of the true. Vast and growing, it listlessly sprawls like speechless lichen over concrete walls       making rocks look less the rabble they randomly are, flung here and there by your surprised hand’s reflex, its hair       your flesh, burning, burning out. Now look back. Toss your wisdom rock your medicine ball through the fluid clock       of memory, see if you can teach your steps to a pup. To this pup. When I sent you out to lift me up       all speech and stance I didn’t know was there for your taking. And you took it  all, and learned, and when you finally looked       back, I was gone, and far beyond your reach.

Copyright © October 2004 Mark Andrew Hislop

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-11-05 14:26:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37288
Mark, I'm impressed by your wonderfull rhymes.act/that change/age took it/looked. They work wonderfully. I liked the bauble theme. I liked truth..... Vast and growing, it listlessly sprawls like speechless lichen over concrete walls making rocks look less the rabble I just feel bad the duet ended. Outgrew the other. You express yourself so well, that seems it should have kept you a couplet. Great ability to communicate! ciao, dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-11-03 11:27:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.18310
I really liked reading this one, lots of metaphors and visuals to engage the imagination. Thats something I always enjoy . Well done!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2004-10-29 14:03:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MAH, Interesting work from one of our pre-eminent stylists and craftsmen. Some sort of mentoring relationship you describe, and it doesn't really matter what is being mentored - it is the relationship and the exchange that is the point. Keep 'em coming. MSS
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