This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-10-30 02:35:10 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Between Now And Then

Between now and then A million raindrops can fall A million minutes while I wait for your call As if the air would vanish into itself Holding me hostage - not breathing Not loving - till then. Between now and then A few laughs will be heard A few tears will spoil the day As if the night would have no end Losing the day - not feeling Not loving - till when? Between now and then A little death will overcome me A little hurt will drain my smile As if time would absorb the pain Leaving my heart - abandoned Not loving - till then. Between now and then The devil could steel the dream The desires could go unfulfilled As if my moments weren't precious Sinking in sorrow - not wanting Not loving - till then.

Copyright © October 2004 DeniMari Z.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Brandon Gene Petit On Date: 2004-11-05 15:58:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Another winne ron this site. I enjoy the subtle imagery and hitned-at meanings within this poem. I'm not sure exactly what you would call this type of poem, but the meter is strangely catchy despite its oddness. The title is creative and fits well with the theme of the poem. Some favorite lines....."..hurt would drain my smile" "a million raindrops fall...wait for your call" "..devil could steel (steal) the dream." Great work ; I'll put it on my list. - Brandon

This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2004-11-02 11:41:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
Dear DeniMarie, With the fact you just critiqued my poem “Good-bye”, I seem to be able to read “into” this beautiful poem. The title is wonderful and strikes me hard, for there is always a “Between Now and Then”. Great choice of titles. The fact so much can happen between the now and the future, possibly yet unknown, you are so right that millions of raindrops can fall (along with many tears) while you wait to see if he calls. You are in the process of holding your breath as you are not sure he will call or come to you. Your love, though, will hold on until that day, at least this is the only way it can seem. A loving relationship that ends yet one still loves the other, and possibly they love you as much, is the unknown to each other. I love the way you begin each stanza with “Between now and then”, for it reinforces the “wait” you are in, the uncertainty of what will come, and yet the hopes it will be the way you dream. Life will go on all around you, you will have tears and yet you may laugh, you maybe numb, and yet you might find a new vivaciousness you have never experienced before, are all in the unknown factors. The entire poem sums up your vision that this is all in the mysterious ways of life here on this earth and you don’t have the answer, yet. You are definitely in love with this man and I pray he will come back and the two of you can communicate the feelings you have between each other. A well written poem of the waiting, the hoping, and of love. Very well done. My very best to you, Debbie
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2004-10-31 22:22:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
Dear DeniMari Nice structure maintained throughout. Reflects the tension matined throughout, the tension of ... what? Awaiting your lover's next embrace? Wondering whether you still exist for him? Both seem to apply. Being forced to put yourself on hold you put us on hold, because who knows what happens next? One query: did you actually mean "devil steel the dream" rather than "steal" it? If he did "steel" it, it strikes me he might actually be doing you a favour. Not bad if you can co-opt the devil to your plan. Regards Mark.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-10-31 10:41:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.73333
Hi DeniMari, To me this is a wonderfully melancholy love song. The rhythmatatic repetitions are like a heartbeat of the Lover waiting and wanting to know the touch of her dreamed beloved. If this isn''t set to music yet it should be, because it pretty much makes it's own music. These lines are my favorites: As if the air would vanish into itself Holding me hostage - not breathing As if the night would have no end Losing the day - not feeling In these two expressions of love lives all anyone would ever dream to feel. Ahhh, now that's romantic love. Thank you for sharing this poem. Blessings, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-10-30 15:57:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.28000
DeniMari, I certainly could have written this poem! The secret is to not care......ha ha! If you realized the presciousness of one moment you could work at living in the now. But in the interim a tear or so might slip out. It's as if they had died/but death would be easier. Your poem took me right into 'the pain'. So that's a pretty powerful piece. As if the night would have no end Losing the day - not feeling Not loving - till when? And it all seems endless...............and it is. My best to you Dellena
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