This Poem was Submitted By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-11-05 01:15:44 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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always with the weather I am rushing down cliff faces and across seas I have no pulse yet it races, bound by a breeze I breathe in and out, hot with flame I run deep and stout, into cracks without fame I am round beyond reckoning except by dust found beyond beckoning except by trust in my hands are rocks and trees in my sands I wear at your knees cupped with care you grow like weeds supped in screams that rattle like reeds rolling on, time settles like fog bells tolling in river's salty bog beginnings and endings blow to and fro a sun breaks into the valley below sun bleak and misted heather heat and frost and biting wind always with the weather do I begin

Copyright © November 2004 Regis L Chapman

Additional Notes:
This is about my memory and understanding of women in my now isolated contemplative place.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2004-12-01 22:45:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Regis, The parallels between women and natural forces are very nicely drawn. I sense a sort of Gaia-principle running through this description. The Earth in all her fulness and tumult stands as metaphor for the feminine principle that links all women. Volcanic passion and pregnant serenity are two sides of the physical aspect of womanhood. The speaker's view of this Woman-Force is tinged with puzzled wonder at the combination of inertia and chaotic energy. I breathe in and out, hot with flame I run deep and stout, into cracks without fame I am round beyond reckoning except by dust There's a certain sensuality implied in words like "deep and stout" or "cracks". Only the dust measures our ultimate importance (which really doesn't account for much, does it?). Even the most fecund, desirable female must fall victim to the passage of time. Even the most promising relationship seems doomed to failure. in my hands are rocks and trees in my sands I wear at your knees cupped with care you grow like weeds supped in screams that rattle like reeds .... wow, what terrific use of alliteration in these lines! Your use of rhyme really enhances this poem. It gives a chant-like effect. The internal rhyme, like round/reckong/found/beckoning, hands/sands, is also well done. The woman herself - and her relationships with the man in her life - incorporates the barrenness of rocks and sand and the rank growth of weeds and reeds. There seems to be neither control nor peace. The speaker's experiences end starkly. Wintry despair kills all the older emotions and leaves the lanscape scoured and empty. But then something new can appear, can't it? The poet has chosen a detached perspective but is not denying the influence that women have had on his existence. He's surveying the past from his clear vantage point and acknowledging that, at the moment, he's in an end phase. Since all is cyclic, the next beginning may not be far off. This is an imaginative, unusual exploration of the theme. I very much like what you've done here. Brenda

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2004-11-23 09:41:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
On first reading I certainly didn't think of women so I had to reread with your note in mind. I can only really see it in the line: found beyond beckoning except by trust Thanks for letting me read and comment.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Stormy D Morris On Date: 2004-11-18 16:52:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hey Reeg- It's funny that even in our present situation your poetry still moves me like it did when were what we were. I'm sitting at my desk now, heart racing and tears coming to my eyes. You are such a talented writer and this poem is proof positive of this. "I have no pulse yet it races, bound by a breeze" for some reason this line moved me so much. I sometimes feel that even though we are moving so quickly through our lives, that we are numb and can't feel it. Sometimes things are happening around us and we just don't realize it. In any case, don't know how this is helpful or that it even makes any sense but I very much loved this poem. Stormy
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-11-09 15:05:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Regis, This is soooooo very good. Every word flows off the tongue like sweetness. I'd love to write as you. Not only flowing but also filling. It's wonderfull to show your 'heart'and self. I breathe in and out, hot with flame [shows such passion] I run deep and stout, into cracks without fame [depth of character] I am round beyond reckoning except by dust [visually great!] found beyond beckoning except by trust [enjoyed the rhyming] most enjoyable. Thanks Regis.[started my day nice] dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-11-05 23:00:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Regis, My first thought is that this poem runs "deeper" than my imagination dares to go. Sometimes, when that happens the writers intent escapes me - but I take that as the message going over my head, not the writers lack in any way. The emotions this piece brought up in me were - anxious - almost unrequited love/rejection but I could be way off here. Let's see if I can work this one out - visuals create a wonderful image - especially with "I breath in and out, hot with flame" - "into cracks without fame", into others lives without meaning? (Just guessing here). "Rolling on, time settles like fog", great line - very fresh idea! I've always admired your poetry here, you are among one of my favorites - since I've been working with this site off and on for almost 4 years now. There is nothing to change - or disturb in your poem - I did enjoy it. Sincerely, DeniMari
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