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In my mind's eye. The sun has just gone down on a truly glorious day, the dusk has drawn a curtain across the gold kissed bay, the visions are all gone now but my memories still stay, on the deepest magic ledges of my mind's eye. From the dawning of the day as I walked along the beach, I saw the treasures of the tide stretch as far as I could reach, and I stored them in the only place that had a spot for each, on the deepest magic ledges of my mind's eye. The sun had risen in the sky and made the sea a silver lane, that reached across the waves until it met the sandy plain, I picture it a thousand times in the place where it is lain, on the deepest magic ledges of my mind's eye. The lighthouse blinked a last goodnight as I made my way back home, with haunting luminescent light on the wavelets crowning foam, and I locked it in my soul and placed my never-ending poem, on the deepest magic ledges of my mind's eye... |
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-11-30 19:30:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.94444
Dear Keith,
The magic of words, artfully arranged have created a breathtaking read. I can't find anything wrong in this poem. It stands on it's own - and I enjoyed it immensely. Such vivid images, my favorite, (the sa a silver lane), and a good rhyming scheme all pull together a mellow and serene piece.
If you can envision such beauty and then with this feeling put in down on paper you have achieved a talent
that only some wish for.
Good luck with this.
Sincerely,
DeniMari