This Poem was Submitted By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2004-12-12 19:45:37 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Letting the Me Out

I can't let you in that would be a sin and I'd have to confess it all over again tainting your smile with my two lips' denial that's a trip nobody will call worthwhile so often I keep me bottled up inside where layers of life are a great place to hide my fears, my foes my hurts and the woes of common place, everyday stompings and blows it's no mystery just a history of some things that ain't and people who can't . . . understand letting the me out

Copyright © December 2004 Latorial D. Faison

This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2005-01-03 14:42:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.18750
From reading your poetry I never thought You- so often I keep me bottled up inside But I guess thats just my impression, it seems to me nothing would interfer with you letting yourself out, but maybe your poems more about not letting yourself being smothered by someone else. Thanks for letting me read and comment.

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-01-01 13:17:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
I think you know that I am a (retired Psychiatric Nurse), and you speak here so eloquently of keeping your feelings bottled up. You don't mention the walls (so called) that one builds to keep others out and learning the "true you." You mention "stompings and blows." I trust that you are or have received the help you need to rid yourself of this burden. Thanks for giving us a look into your psyche (which undoubtedly) is difficult to do. Best of the NY to you. This is a well constructed poem with an endearing title.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-12-21 11:59:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Latorial.... My first reading of this I said out loud "WOW." My second reading of this I said out loud "WOW." I have heard some of my closest friends (mostly female) describe how they feel about maintaining their privacy and how they keep many out except the most trusted confidants. You have explained this state in a short, sweet, yet forceful poem that rationizes the why you won't let someone know your most intimate thoughts, while at the same time giving the reader in the end, hope that maybe they can find that hidden key to unlock your cage. Loved the "it's no mystery, just history." If someone can't accept that, then they will never accept you....or if they can't understand that, then they'll never understand you. This is truly an amazing poem that speaks to me better than most because you have found a way to explain something so difficult to comprehend by others in a few words. This is at the top of my list for this month and is one of my favs this year. Mick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Monica ONeill On Date: 2004-12-18 20:09:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
HI there, I find it hard to "let the me out" as well. Isn't it funny that sometimes to survive in a relationship, or in a society, one is forced to change who we are, and keep the real me to ourselves. I can identify with this...more than ever...and appreciate the words. I like the free form as well, but more than that just the simple message. In a way, in the poem, you are "letting the me out" if even for just a little while. Have a great holiday. Moni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2004-12-15 18:21:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Latorial, Nice poem... Again your on the right track. By letting 'it' out it lets 'you' in....... You seem to be a strong young women. You go girl! Happy holidays, Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-12-13 13:03:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Latorial, What a heart-rendering piece this is. It really speaks to me as sometimes I have a tendancy to keep my emotions bottled up which I know is very hard on ones physcial and emotional health. I never want to worry anyone and it just seems easier to wait until things work out before I voice whatever is bothering me. I love the title of your poem...'Letting the me out' is so telling. I think sometimes the hurt is worse when you don't let the 'me' outside the silent wall we build around the 'me' It always helps to talk about it...but I am the last person to advise that since I don't take my own advice! Also you have done a magnificent job of rhyming here with no paticular scheme...instead it is random sometimes internal and sometimes not. I am partial to this type of rhyme as it lets the poet free to write how he/she feels without attempting to rhyme every line. To me that is a more natural way to compose as you are not locked into a certain style which can become rigid and forced. You have expressed yourself very well...thanks for sharing these inner-most thoughts. Blessings...Marilyn
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