This Poem was Submitted By: Mark D. Kilburn On Date: 2005-01-25 12:36:06 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Nature's Angel

Enigmatically perfect  In an imperfect world Possessing sprinters’ speed And distant endurance Melding with visual intensity Magnetically sateen Perfection within motion Reflecting rainbows of mirrored prisms Lucent miniatures transferred Onto infinitesimal feathers Bounced and glanced One to another Shimmering transmissions Infinite eternity Interrupted when stolen By invading eyes Blessed and breathing art Creating awe and envy Stirring thought and  Seducing the senses With absolute iridescence A simple mission And unpredictable beauty Reflecting solar rays Of exploding hues Fearless in flight Determined in life Hymns humming With each winged flap Inhaling color From floral nectar A thought from God Angelically flawless Titles of  Magnificent, Lucifer and Ruby Throated Yet breakable fragility Bleeding red like man Each droplet universally  More important  than ours… Impeccable Hummingbird

Copyright © January 2005 Mark D. Kilburn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Kelly Denise LaBeff On Date: 2005-02-02 23:09:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.97500
Impeccable Hummingbird-Oh my goodness, Mark, how absolutely beautiful, breathtaking, I was shocked! I knew you were leading up to something remarkable, but with great talent you detailed with artsy review each line, adding suspense! Then your end - I had no idea what the last line would reveal and when I saw Impeccable Hummingbird my head nodded in approval and everything fit together perfectly. I especially loved the descriptive lines used to illustrate its image when you said: Titles of Magnificent, Lucifer and Ruby Throated [[[[That's Beautiful!!!!]]]] Your language throughout is resounding, creative, rousing and rich, wonderfully descriptive and crafted! Your rhythm is impeccable and in perfect cue you used alliteration of perfect sonic sense that reflected that effect of the word used in text and sound alike,,,,amazing! A perfect read and an enjoyment to behold as I watched your words unfold an Impeccable Hummingbird! Thanks, Mark, I loved it! Kelly

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-01-31 19:20:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Mark: It's a joy to see this poem again, and I love the slight revision you've given it. It has all of the things that I loved about it a few year's ago, but is smoother and, IMO, has a perfection that makes it one of the most outstanding pieces to be contributed to this site. You know of my intense devotion to nature -- and especially my interest in birds, and I hope you also know how much I enjoy your poems. This is an unbeatable combination for me. So thank you, for this great gift of appreciation for one nature's enigma's -- but then, you have said it best! Enigmatically perfect In an imperfect world Possessing sprinters’ speed -- I see the added apostrophe, great! And distant endurance Melding with visual intensity *Ah! "Melding" is a much more exciting word than "combining." And I think that the way you have reformatted this makes it even more compelling. Magnetically sateen Perfection within motion Reflecting rainbows of mirrored prisms Lucent miniatures transferred Onto infinitesimal feathers -- Separating this line really showcases it! Bounced and glanced One to another Shimmering transmissions Infinite eternity -- I like this much better than "eternal infinity" Mark Interrupted when stolen --here you've combined two lines into one, and intensified the effects deftly. It's easier to comprehend your intent, IMO. By invading eyes -- I like that you've made this plural, and separated it Blessed and breathing art -- Here the changes are magnificent! Creating awe and envy Stirring thought and Seducing the senses With absolute iridescence -- Yes! A simple mission --very smooth And unpredictable beauty -- omitting the "its" really streamlines these lines Reflecting solar rays -- I love "solar" in place of "sun" Of exploding hues Fearless in flight Determined in life Hymns humming --fabulous alliteration here and smoother flow With each winged flap The poem emulates the unbelievable feat of the hummingbird's flight with this streamlined revision, Mark. Incredible! Inhaling color From floral nectar A thought from God --- I like this much better than "merely God's thoughts" Angelically flawless Titles of Magnificent, ---WONDERFUL!! Lucifer and Ruby Throated Yet breakable fragility Bleeding red like man Each droplet universally *brilliantly stated More important than ours… (more universal than "mine") Impeccable Hummingbird Sigh! I never would have dreamed that I could enjoy this one more. You have done a magnificent job with it, fitting for its subject. Bravo! This is a winner, without doubt! All my best wishes, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-01-29 12:47:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.97059
Nature's Angel – Mark, what a perfect moniker for a hummingbird. It is also a preamble to your verse that presents a view of hummingbirds that, I believe, most of us carry, unbeknownst, within us, on observing their beauty. “Enigmatically perfect” Compared to other flighted animals, “enigma” suits well the idiosyncrasies of the humming bird!! Possessing sprinters’ speed And distant endurance – Both qualities that impress the observer, and the endurance cost the hummingbird the need to eat constantly to sustain it’s life. Excellent. Melding with visual intensity – The perfect description, “visual intensity” leaves one with the feeling “unmatched”. Perfection within motion Reflecting rainbows of mirrored prisms Lucent miniatures transferred – How beautiful a description, and the colors, I have never seen a hummingbird not decked out, to amaze, and always a translucent, affective coloration, in miniature, a rainbow transcendent. Infinite eternity Interrupted when stolen – Within these words, there is a sort of prophetic dealing with the “invention” of such a beast as the hummingbird, and the uniqueness to all other creation. Seducing the senses – With the hum, the beauty, the very colorations, “seduction” is an apt description of my wonder and desire to watch, and watch again. Hymns humming With each winged flap – I find it interesting you chose “hymns” as a tribute to a higher creative power, or the creativity that granted it’s most potent conception into the smallest of revelations. Excellent. Angelically flawless – Angels, I shall evermore see them as angels, won’t be able to stop the urge. So prosperous a description. Lucifer and Ruby Throated Yet breakable fragility – The power, and the fragility, it almost describes the necessity of a relationship, destroy the intimacy, and the power is lost. Beautiful!! Mark, a fine piece, an improbable piece, a perfect piece. Thanks.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-01-26 04:58:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83871
Nice Mark, very nice and from this viewpoint it needs not be changed for it stands on its own.....great word flow bringing forth many wonderful images of the to look and search for them, they do visit my yard, and the humming sound their wings make is flight they quickly pass by and leave you in awe of their speed, so tiny they are jet majestically they stand in beauty......thanks for posting, sharing this lovely one with us.......I love angels and I certainly love God's 'special angels' of which is mentioned within these lines. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-01-25 16:27:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.78947
Mark, You said so much about the humingbird! And theres even more to say. Blessed and breathing art Creating awe and envy Stirring thought and Seducing the senses With absolute iridescence I love you show to. They are immpeccable. They are more 'perfect' than man. With more integrity too, I'll wager. I like your idea of them as angels. It fits greatly. interesting note; Hummingbirds have the fastest metabolism in the animal kingdom - more than 100 times as fast as an elephant! These small birds can eat three times their body weight per day, visiting hundreds of flowers to take care of their insatiable appetite. A thought from God Angelically flawless A WONDERFUL thought god and through you to us. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-01-25 14:54:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76000
You have set this out so well. We have two hummingbird feeders here, and I rejoice at their return in the spring. It's amazing to know that they fly thousands of miles to get here, and back, each year. We get all the varieties you wrote of. I have one feeder on my window, and just sit back and enjoy them. I like the way you presented this...bwetween four and five line stanzas, and intersected with a one line jewel.Thanks for reminding me that they will return soon...I'd better clean up their feeders. Thanks for the post.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2005-01-25 14:52:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
You know Mark as I began reading this I automatically thought of a Hummingbird, and to find out my concensus was right on pleased me, for I have never seen anyone write this winged angel as apting as you have here. If anyone has ever sat and just watched they would reale what a great parrarel you've written here. I'm quite smitten with this poem, and reading it's flawless is beyond my descriptive abilities, I don't even feel I need to dissect each line, for each line speaks for itsel. In order words in my book flawless and beyond reproach. It's a wonderful poem, and I love the comparison to an Angel, for Angels to me are flawless and all the descriptive this poem entales. Great job, no suggestions from me, I just plain love the poem, and admire your artistic ability with this one, it's absolutely wonderful. Best regards and good luck this poem definately will be on my list for the month. Best always, Jo Morgan oh! by the way the style and linguistics, and the intent maintains make this a strong projection.
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