This Poem was Submitted By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-02-08 11:22:04 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Perfecting Praise

Children bow, choirs chant Hands lift to the sky Many are thy miraculous Prophetic plans on high Women weep, men meditate For the presence of all fate Divine answers findeth them Thy goodness never late Joseph dreamed, David danced I compose for thee verse Professing love where love abides All because you loved me first

Copyright © February 2005 Latorial D. Faison

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sandee L McMullan On Date: 2005-03-04 12:08:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.52381
Title: Perfecting Praise This title directs attention to praise and I want to read on; there is a sense of joy in this word. I step into the read. Opening line brings the subject of praise to the reader with the image of children and chants. I like the positive euphoric tone of the setting; its rising my spirit up >> “to the sky”. I as the reader go with the poem in its short lines, they help me easily step along with the narrator and the mood of the poem. I see the internal rhyme of sky with thy, however, when I see “thy” in a poem it confuses me as to who/what “thy” relates to. Archaic language thy = you or your? thy = thee ? I always question in my mind if regular word would work better. Just my way of dealing with this nuance. Surely, the use is a preference by the writer. Further my opinion here and it could be way off. Capitals at the beginning of lines shift the focus to the capital for me; this adds a distraction from the message within the line. I as the reader, have no direction by periods or commas, etc. I flounder in this type of format; it’s hard work to glean the message. Alliteration helps the reader pause and adds to the sound and affect here in particular to the lull of meditation/chant mentioned earlier. The personal names of Joseph & David add a biblical reference to this piece, perhaps ties in the use of “thy, thee” a copying of language used in bible. Not sure if its use is totally effective here. I get the “praise” is love within this piece. Ending is suitable and works, even with the many times used in society – I am all that I am, because you loved me. Still it impacts the heart; finalized the feeling of praise. I like, and I enjoyed this. . . . regards

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-03-01 19:11:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.65385
This style of prayer is foreign to me because I am Jewish. However I am quite well versed as to other beliefs. I am glad that you brough Joseph and David into this for it shows that you do know the other side of the coin so to speak. Thanks for posting.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Troy D Skroch On Date: 2005-02-22 23:18:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Latorial, This poem says to me that everyone serves God in their own way and that your way is through writing; it's how you return God's love. This is a beautifully honest piece of writing. I will never question the intent, motivation or sincerity of your poetry. I guess I never have anyway. I myself am sometimes sincere and other times a "screw ball". Isn't there a verse about people like me in the Bible? I like that you address children, men and women in your poem excluding nobody. I also like the two biblical references you make in "Joseph" and "David". Two of my favorite Bible figures. I guess that's all I have to say tonight. Goodnight Latorial, God Bless, Troy
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-02-17 15:28:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Latorial, This is just so beautiful and it would be even more so if it were set to music and sang as a hymn. The rhyming is exquisit and, again, perfect for a hymn. Women weep, men meditate for the presence of all fate. Divine answers findeth them thy goodness never late. These lines are poetically penned but the message is age-old. All we really need to do is pray to Him, just the act of doing so is very healing to the soul. He has answered so many of my prayers and I don't understand when some question His presence...human nature I guess....'I compose for thee a verse professing love where love abides all becuase you loved me first.' There could not be a better last line to this poem. Very well done... I do so enjoy your poetry as it always carries a message and makes me feel good just for having read them. Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-02-08 18:43:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Perfecting Praise nice title Children bow, choirs chant Hands lift to the sky Many are thy miraculous Prophetic plans on high [lovely] Women weep, men meditate [I think it would be more interesting if the men wept and the women meditated ] For the presence of all fate Divine answers findeth them Thy goodness never late Joseph dreamed, David danced I compose for thee verse Professing love where love abides All because you loved me first First? I thought I understood this poem but I don't know who the Lord would have loved "first" Is this persona Adam? - with some cognition of Bibical figures to come? Should not the pronouns; You, Thy, Thee, be in caps if, as I presume it to be - this is the praise of a believer? Best Rach
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-02-08 18:26:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Poet you have touched this heart and I am sure all others that will read this wonderful Prise to God.......I just adore the images you have projected with the words you created........the children raising their voices along with adults adding to the joy for the Lord so loves it when His children sing to all father's do this Father of creation is not be left behind......choirs chant, hands liften high, you are painting the painting to behold with pure joy in one's heart....feel the beat of the rhythm being created, feel the tears of joy as they fall from one's soul.....indeed they come deep within the soul though they fall from the eyes which are the mirror to the soul.......I just love this poet and I hope you can changes please its perfect as is....thank you for posting and sharing with us your own creation of love for God......Bless you, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2005-02-08 15:48:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Latorial, This poem of praise is a hymn, I picture loving God, raising hands in supplication, just feeling good knowing and accepting he is always there. I see bodies swaying to a timber of a beat continained in the rhythm of this poem you know, singing praise, it's wonderful to me to read, it clean, concise and holds sensation. No kidding, as I type this I hear a midred of voices, mens, womens, childrens raised in praise, so as such the poem affects me as if hearing a hymn, for me the poem contains all the elements. I realize this is Black History month, and without judgement I appreciate the purity this poem conveys, none of us are perfect, but we stive to pay homage when sen through strife and hard times, because I acknowledge his prescence and raise my voicein raise, Thank you Lord for the good, for helping me carry the burden, for without you I would have stumbled....Great praise you write...God Bless He's always with you....Jo Mo, love is the motovition that keeps unity, and makes praise automatic, that's what this poem signify's to me, Love, Jo Mo
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-02-08 15:30:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Latorial--Excellent devotional piece (almost a prayer). Immediate allits of title gives this an inviting and pious tone. And, read quickly, followed by reverence of obedient servants through all three stanzas: depiction by com- binations of allits (choirs chant, prophetic plans, women weep, men mediate, ...dreamed, David danced) and stagered placement of end rhymes (sky/high; meditate/fate/late; verse/first) create vivid imagery while producing a euphonious rhythm. Overall, a terse revealation of personal faith. Thanks for sharing. TLW
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