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For The Dreamer I had a dream last night that, your eyes are almost a steely blue, yet for me they have the softest hue. I had a dream last night that, I whispered sweet nothings, into your long, curly, blonde hair. I had a dream last night that, you opened your heart to me, and let me see the flower gem which lay hidden within. I had a dream last night that, I've just started wanting you, summer haze, halcyon days and lazy ways. I had a dream last night that, I was your king and you my golden queen, love without doubt. I had a dream last night that, you held me in your arms, trembling like a flower, my head against your breast. I had a dream last night that, we yearned to be free, and we learned to fly, you and I. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-02-22 17:36:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
Okay dreamer. Why not? I'm glad this didn't go on longer for the repetition was getting to me.
Maybe, just maybe you could have done away with all the "I had a dream last night that..." and
combined all the middle stanzas and left the first and last ones with that wording. I don't know.
That's my take on it. Otherwise
Dreaming sequences are okay. The best was the last. Fly on, and thanks for posting.