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This Poem was Submitted By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2005-03-08 09:45:41 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Through The Pain

As a child much time was spent in wonderment nose pressed, against the windowpane. Watching rain hit the glass... splat! as I sat nose pressed, against the windowpane. Song of dreams imagine that pitter pat nose pressed, against the windowpane. Now a days rain is colder I am older nose pressed, against the windowpane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-04-06 13:18:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.42105
And such are dreams...but you're older and supposedly wiser now. When I was that young, I too sat not against a window pane, but a screened window and I fell out two stories onto a rock garden. Maybe that explains a few things huh? I am just curious about the title because you spelt "pain" instead of "pane". You don't mention anything about pain in the body. Otherwise a very nice lilt to the whole of it. Thanks.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2005-03-25 15:15:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.54545
Nancy, this is quite a poignant poem. I don’t know, except maybe on a micro view, how universal it is, but maybe, whether sanguine or melancholy, it is a view that all children, and later people, know on a macro view. Your rhymes were a perfect match throughout the piece, and kept one, comfortable with being a little bit uncomfortable, contented, no matter some discontentment. Matches well your theme. Through The Pain – This title contains a certain level of discomfort, but also prepares us for hope. “Through”, means entering, and exiting, so pain is a temporal As a child much time was spent in wonderment nose pressed, against the windowpane. – As we watch, we are the child, and outside, the newness, the immensity, the options, strike us with wonder. There are excursions, but when the whole world awaits, (the windowpane of life) one itches to delve more deeply into the adventures waiting. Watching rain hit the glass... splat! as I sat nose pressed, against the windowpane. – There is a fascinating intrigue about rain on the window, almost like the day is come to greet you, and your greeting is like a wet rainbow, you see it from afar, it may captivate you, but it is not something you can utilize, other than with inspiration. That windowpane again, and all it connotes. Song of dreams imagine that pitter pat nose pressed, against the windowpane. – The white noise of living, of “rain” always has a hidden agenda, that even through difficult times, is transient and a mystery. The song, and the dreams, all pitter pat at living, and it is perspective that convinces you, through the windowpane, whether the good or the bad of rain wins the perception battle. Now a days rain is colder I am older nose pressed, against the windowpane. – I read this last stanza, and spent some time rereading it and evaluating. I believe there is a personal side, but also a universal side that allows us all to contemplate life through a window that shows where we haven’t gone, where we have gone, as well as where we wish to go. This is a thoughtful piece that stays with a reader. Thanks for sharing and letting me think and muse!!

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-03-22 17:13:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.11111
Nancy, What I see in this poem is the child of you. young-wondering, growing-seeing, older-dreaming/hoping, now-it's cold-no illusions left. Few words, but lots off emotion. It's growing up nose to window. looking through the window pane-pain! You sound like you've seen it all... It almost sounds hopeless. hope not. It's just another phase. Good imagery, my nose s wet and upon breathing, my window fogs up. Title's perfect. A very thought provoking poem. The font's perfect too/childlike. great job! Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2005-03-15 20:14:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Nancy, isn't it great how we are granted access to clear memories of childhood, then allowed to meld them with the present and produce a clear vignette of overlapping feelings. Who has not pressed a nose to a window on a cold, rainy day. The outlook changes with age, but the "nose pressed, against the windowpane." repetition is a stark reminder of the child resident in all our souls. Thanks for taking me back to that "time spent in wonderment" of childhood. The pace of the work is appropos, and the verbiage crystal clear. Thanks for the post, and have a grand day.. Peace, Paul

This Poem was Critiqued By: Troy D Skroch On Date: 2005-03-14 18:43:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Nancy, I like your poem. Your rhyme and repetition carried me through the four balanced stanzas forcing me to think through the progression of some of the windows in my life. When I was little I would watch the rain bead up and run down the outside of the window. It seems like yesterday, but many years have passed. I've stared out the windows of hospitals, airplanes, stores, homes, cars, boats, trains, churches etc,...to include the windows of my eyes. And each time observing past, present or future. Yes, your poem captures the idea that time is a window showing us that progression in it's narrative fashion. As you move us through time the title of your poem is a constant reminder that "pain" will always be with us. Sometimes I think that life has an awful lot to with minimizing pain. And maybe that's what you are trying to tell us. That life is full of pain, and that gets harder to deal with as we get older. Perhaps you are asking us to view life through the window of pain, hence making us more compassionate and understanding to everything and everyone else we experience. Maybe I should combine both of these ideas and then perhaps I get closer to your intent. Very intelligent and well crafted writing. Thanks Nancy, Troy

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-03-14 08:22:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi Nancy, This was a compelling piece, rich in sentiment and replete with vivid imagery that transports the reader through phases of hope and aspirations and leads them to the glaring realities of disappointment, regret and failure as faced by the little girl behind the window pane. Capping each verse with 'nose pressed against the window pane', enhances the delivery of a sense of stagnation and longing and it is interesting to note that even in the older stages (when the rain feels colder) of her life, the poet does in essence, display a childishness she never lost (perhaps out of failed pursuit of her childhood dreams). Rain fall and grey skies provide an appropriate backdrop for the mood the poet wishes to create. 'Now a days rain is colder I am older nose pressed, against the windowpane.' I liked the rhyme scheme inter-twined into this (spent/wonderment, splat/sat, that/pat, colder/older) However, what would have to be one of the finest touches to this piece is the title as it sets the tone of the poem and gives the reader a larger glimpse into the mindset behind the piece. "Through the pain"- in itself infers a sense of grief and gives us a better understanding of the melancholia or disappointment behind this offering. It was also a clever spin on 'pane'. Looking forward to reading more of your work Nancy!! Hope all is well with you. Take Care, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-03-14 08:22:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi Nancy, This was a compelling piece, rich in sentiment and replete with vivid imagery that transports the reader through phases of hope and aspirations and leads them to the glaring realities of disappointment, regret and failure as faced by the little girl behind the window pane. Capping each verse with 'nose pressed against the window pane', enhances the delivery of a sense of stagnation and longing and it is interesting to note that even in the older stages (when the rain feels colder) of her life, the poet does in essence, display a childishness she never lost (perhaps out of failed pursuit of her childhood dreams). Rain fall and grey skies provide an appropriate backdrop for the mood the poet wishes to create. 'Now a days rain is colder I am older nose pressed, against the windowpane.' I liked the rhyme scheme inter-twined into this (spent/wonderment, splat/sat, that/pat, colder/older) However, what would have to be one of the finest touches to this piece is the title as it sets the tone of the poem and gives the reader a larger glimpse into the mindset behind the piece. "Through the pain"- in itself infers a sense of grief and gives us a better understanding of the melancholia or disappointment behind this offering. It was also a clever spin on 'pane'. Looking forward to reading more of your work Nancy!! Hope all is well with you. Take Care, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-03-10 09:20:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Good Morning Nancy.........Through the Pain........a good title for this piece, which has been structured well, nice easy word flow, enjoyed the images brought forth along with the association of pain/pane.......from the little girl in the opening stanza to the grown woman she has become in closing finding the ups and downs of life as she traveled on with her nose pressed against the windowpane.......that is a nice easy term to keep reading poet.....thanks for posting, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-03-08 23:48:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nancy--Perplexing title, and made even more so by the subsequent verbiage, especially the seemingly innocent first three stanzas: the scenarios presented in no way appear to be ominous, maybe with the exception of refrains "nose pressed against the window- pane." These repeated endings of stanzas infer at least long ago childhood aspirations still are unrequited many years later; "Now-a-days rain is colder, I am older; nose pressed against the windowpane." This reader sees the piece as a metaphorical depiction of protagonist undergoing some traumatic experience. IMO, a haunting/melancholic/rhyming/terse read. Sorry if I mis- stated your intentions. TLW

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-03-08 17:05:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Nancy, In this terse and rather sad poem I find you have written reams between the lines that we cannot see. To me it seems you have been waiting for something significant to take place that you have yet to attain. True love, serenity, or perhaps peace within yourself that has eluded you. There is mystry to this piece that makes it a compelling read...in my opinion that is a quality good poets should have. The imagery is good as I could easily see the child with nose pressed against the windowpane...I remember myself doing that as a child. The adult does the same...expectant and hopeful that today is the day the answers she is seeking will somehow finally appear. In the phrase 'Now a days' I think I would drop the 'a' but that is just me as it does not detract from the message. I enjoyed this piece and probably have over analyzed it which is a bad habit of mine! Keep writing! Blessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sean Donaghy On Date: 2005-03-08 14:45:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Lovely re-tracing of the line from childhood wonderment to adult reality. It takes a bit of thought to tie in the "pain" of the title with the "pane" of the stanzas but, when the picture clicks in, the sub-textual connection is eye-opening. A pleasant read... thank you! Sean

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