This Poem was Submitted By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-05-26 02:38:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Silly Me Oh there you are
I thought I was all alone
Not written for some time
I forgot what it was like
Took allot of nerve you know
To let my feelings flow
Then post for all to see
On the link below
I know what you mean
When I read the line that said
Where are those who read
And give us their feedback
Silly me for thinking
It would be different this time
My hubby always says
In his testy old way
Same old stuff dear
Just a different day
As he adds his sinister
...hehehe...
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Copyright © May 2005 Claire H. Currier
Additional Notes:
Could not resist as I read some reviews for Poets that have posted here on the link.......not much encouragement for those that receive just one review.........my best to all in this month's contest though and welcome to the poets that have returned.......and to those who have just joined.......
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-06-05 18:31:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.53191
Well very cute and so true. Tell your hubby to be more helpful and positive. Cynicism will get
him nowhere. Your rhyme scheme could use some corrections, but what the heck...let's just leave
it at that. One big typo on line 5..."s/b a lot." Okay nuff said. Glad to see you in the
race for top critiquer. Best wishes...arnie
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2005-06-03 19:12:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
Hi Claire..good job here! you say it like it is my friend. This is my favorite stanza in your poem, and so true indeed. "Took allot of nerve you know
To let my feelings flow
Then post for all to see
On the link below" and I really liked the way you ended this in a "I told you so sort of way"..thanks for the read my friend..
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2005-05-30 22:57:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Claire,
This was a cute poem, and I was totally attracted to it because of the title (smile). I just had to see what you wrote. Unfortunately, there is a lot of truth in this poem. Much of life stays the same, and sometimes people just don't change. As for TPL, this can be a frightening place for new writers, but those who last are those who were meant to be here for whatever reasons.
This poem flows along in a playful sort of way, and that makes it such a joy to read. I like how you encourage/welcome new poets. It's so very important to find a friend here at TPL. I'd like to think that we are all friends.
Thanks for sharing some great poetic comments about TPL.
It's a great place to be. I can't believe that some writers are not being critqiued. This will make me make more of an attempt to read more on my critique list. Thanks again Claire.
Latorial
www.latorialfaison.com
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-05-26 19:38:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Claire:
A word to the wise ... is sufficient. I forget who said that.
But you give several words to the wise here.
And I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with lack of critiquing guilt. :)
It's no good just to take and not give. And it's horrible to wait
for critiques when there are none or few. We place our souls out there
(I mean this literally) for everyone to view. If few or none reply, does
that really mean that we have failed, or that our unfamiliar (or too familiar)
name does not appeal? These thoughts triggered by your poem are well worth
pursuing. And the poem is good, and how happy I am to find another one from
you. Your commitment and real concern are showing here, as well as a bit of
dark humor (which I enjoy, by the way, unless it's too scary). So, to keep
things in balance must be our goal.
Oh there you are
I thought I was all alone
Not written for some time
I forgot what it was like
Chagrin! This applies as well to correspondence, as well as critique replies.
Anytime we forget responsibility in communication. A fair exchange. Your
pacing is once again completely captivating -- the words personal, direct.
I tend to write too much, all at once, then silence for a mysterious while.
Consistency is better.
Took allot of nerve you know
To let my feelings flow
Then post for all to see
On the link below
Your first line is so completely RIGHT. It does take a lot of nerve, we both
know -- I think everyone knows, but forgets. It is scary stuff. I remember when
I submitted my first poem here. Writing it, then submitting it, seeing it there,
bare for all to see, or not. My guts poured out. People were kind, right away.
It wasn't a very good poem, in my opinion, but it was me, taking a risk. I had
to actually look away when I clicked the submit button, and immediately felt,
What have I done now? Now I am going to find out that no one will want to read
this stuff that I've been writing and rewriting and collecting for years. I am
shy though don't appear to be so. I think that most writers have a shyness to
them, of course not all, but people who have a lot going on on the inside
sometimes do not express it as well face to face, as in an art form, particularly
this one.
I know what you mean
When I read the line that said
Where are those who read
And give us their feedback
This is what this link is all about. Write, read, respond, reply. It is all of a piece.
And reminders are welcome. Placing this in poem form expresses it powerfully. Right here,
right now.
Silly me for thinking
It would be different this time
My hubby always says
In his testy old way
(smiling -- I hear many things in the last two lines above -- many things)
Same old stuff dear
Just a different day
As he adds his sinister
...hehehe...
You got me again with the final stanza's punch! You kept the first line clean -- I've
heard a different version of that saying often. The 'hehehe' at the end, a sardonic
note. Pause to make one think. And think. And feel.
Claire, you've done it again. :) Caught me offguard, spoken to my need to hear a reminder
of why we are here, on this link. I like it -- a lot -- for twenty-hundred different
reasons. Brava!
Hugs.
My very best always,
Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2005-05-26 07:59:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Claire,
You are so right in your concept on those that have only one review. I will do my best to make sure that no one this month only gets one. I like to read and offer my views on all types of writing here at TPL. You are not silly for thinking it can be more. I remember when you first started here and how you were anxious to find out how the sight worked. There is no one direction for it constantly changes according to the audience that is present. Some of us come back from time to time, some of us leave because we lose are direction, while others are only here for rewards. When I write I like feedback, I like to know if I read it right the first time, I like diging into the depths of the words, I like being taken on a trip. Alas my life limits me in enjoying this pasttime for my life is full and the moments I have cherished. Have three grandchildren now, great family taking my entire time when free time is available. Since we raise our grandson we participate in all his activities he will be 11 tomorrow. We are involved in his schooling, year round sports (baseball, football, basketball), and extra activities. Friday nights is the only time we have to ourselves since his father will take him to his place now that he is married.
Sorry to get off the subject. Some verses, good format, a little humor, and some hope within this piece. Thanks, Thomas.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-05-26 07:21:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86111
HI Claire,
It is such a priveledge to have a very nice person like yourself critique so actively on the Link and it's an equal priveledge to read the poems you post.
This poem is interesting in a number of ways and encompasses a large section of poets here on TPL. I, myself have been in a position where I've been discouraged with 1 or 2 reviews but have held on, only to discover that in time, most poems do get their due. You have spelt out encouragement for the group you speak of and I am sure they will be inspired and appreciatve of the sentiments you reflect in this piece.
Your first verse captures the psyche of a poet who has been out of touch with his/her writing. How true this! While I haven't taken a long hiatus from writing, there are many who have and have actually forgotten what it all feels like.
The second verse captures the grit involved in sharing some of our most intimate thoughts and posting it on the internet which is the most exposed of all publishing mediums.
:-) The first two verses were my favorite!!
I felt the poem flowed well from start to finish.
Interesting take on this one, Claire!!
Take Care,
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2005-05-26 05:23:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Claire,
Thanks for welcoming me back! TPL will always be my home. :)
This poem is as real as what your words are...no inhibitions, straight from your heart and from your "thinking" mind. To be honest, to be true to oneself....oftentimes is a therapy. It can also be interpreted in a thousand meanings...but it's only the author and its sinister smile can truly know behind those "secret" meanings.
I like the lines "same old stuff dear, just a different day". This are "realistic" phrase that caught my wishful thinking moment. Thanks for reminding me the "real" world...and for the moment...reflect with life.
As always,
Erzahl
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