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Day 4 (revised) Four days ago i came here trapped within my trepidation. Voices screaming left and right inside my head and out. Naive i may have been but unaware at best, no cuts, no tablets swallowed could rupture as their words. Two days since stripped away the mask which held it all together, as tears blinked back and pieces tumbled through restless nights of brutal hell. Shower droplets were daggers disclosing a blemished canvas. Visions piercing the eclipse shattered my picture perfect reminiscence. And now four days hence, the rawest most sensitive pieces of my soul have just been prodded and pulled about into an exposing, burning sun. I hurt deeply. I hurt too much. i ache far below. And long for my cherished veil which secrets long disguised. encompassing and protecting, the memories i've worked so hard to retain without a thought. Suddenly for all to survey as I must give account. The group, intense, it meets; each member nods approval. A couple more days from the docs, my safety their concern. The shower still cuts like ice but shatters my confusion Brings back a reality, unfortunately not an illusion. A contract's all they want if a promise I could give. What i would do to return and be ignorantly in bliss again. You can have my memory if i can leave this place. But when I reach for my shade as comforting as others are, the faintest whimper does arise. Brilliant once burning recollections, now provide a glimmering desire. Fragile, delicate yet growing strong will comfort and corroborate, with time I see, the screaming rage and validate what once was thought my madness. |
Additional Notes:
I originally submitted this five years ago, then came back and revised it two years ago, however, with no critiques. Trying once again. This was written during a time when I was recalling the experience of being hospitalized when i was in college for depression and what i now know to be post traumatic stress disorder and dissociative disorder.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-07-07 20:52:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.58537
Poet just wanted you to know I have read this many times, responded once but I see it never made it to your attention ....sometimes these computers take on their own ideas.......good structure, most difficult piece to write but so well written, giving a full view of what is taking place......emotionally packed, I am so proud of the steps you took to get where you are poet.......when you look back on things you may think college is hard enough on its own without adding to the stress factor which seems to have happenmed along with the illness you were 'treated' for......thus finding one problem after another......you have come along way and you should be proud......God Bless and thank you for sharing this most dificult time....perhaps this will reach out and touch someone else going through the same thing and help him or her as well. Claire