Jesus Manuel Lopez's E-Mail Address: jesus.lopez@ncmail.net


Jesus Manuel Lopez's Profile:
Hi All, Been on the site (on and off) for a few years and am always thankful that I found it. Some talented and kind people make this a great place to continually learn new things and hone my skills. Brief Bio - Born 1962 in NYC, raised in the Bronx, relocated to Raleigh NC in 2002 (Love it!) Blessed with a wonderful wife (Rebecca) and two awesome sons (Ryan and Christopher) I have worked for JPMorgan, Computer Science Corp., Cisco Systems and now the State of North Carolina. I enjoy gardening (beginner!), playing Scrabble and Chess. I enjoy reading (a complete change from my 20's and 30's). Favorite Book - Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand) Also enjoy books by Kurt Vonnegut. Music - Enjoy Classic Rock - Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and others. Write poetry in "spurts" My muse is elusive. Take care and enjoy the site. Jesus

So far 709 People have Entered a Personal Profile on The Poetic Link! Click Here to see the rest of them or to Add your Own Personal Profile Now!

Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Jesus Manuel Lopez has given on The Poetic Link.
By Clicking a Poem Title, you can view the poem that is associated with each Critique.


If you would like to view all of Jesus Manuel Lopez's Poetry just Click Here.

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!

Displaying Critiques 1 to 4 out of 4 Total Critiques.

Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by Jesus Manuel LopezCritique Date
Torrid AffairMandie J OverockerHello Mandie, Nicely done. Your choice of format and layout was on the money. Rather than breaking this work down into safe rhyming tercets your free flow approach gave the work a vibrant rhythm and tempo. The non use of punctuation propelled me across the lines and gave the piece a stream of consciousness feeling. The capitalizations served as brief points to pause. Your opening omnomatopoea established the pace of the work and the format sustained it. Your Torrid Affair with the pen, paper, words, ideas and feelings is nicely presented. Critique, reply Telling them why Artistic work It makes me cry But then I’m held As I’m compelled To note a word Again misspelled I found these lines to be very clever and amusing. The power of poetry can bring a person to tears and yet the editor in all of us can pause to focus on errors in grammar and spelling. I liked that you took a chance with this work. We need more risk taking in poetry. Thanks for sharing. Jesus2005-06-27 13:58:28
Day 4 (revised)Mandie J OverockerDear Poet, Thank you for sharing this highly personal and introspective work with us. I hope there was some level of catharsis as you put your thoughts to paper. The use of unrhyming non-modulated meter in quatrains is appropriate considering the serious theme of the work. Several stanzas and verses caught my attention with their intensity, depth and candor. Two days since stripped away the mask (the use of stripped and mask is very strong because they are loaded with meaning that maps very well to the context of the poem. Stripped - To deprive of clothing, deprive of honors and ranks, to remove excess detail to make bare, to dismantle, etc. Mask - to conceal, to hide, to disguise) which held it all together, as tears blinked back and pieces tumbled (this and the previous verse demonstrate the fragility of the situation and how the "mask" served an additional purpose - preservation of sanity) through restless nights of brutal hell. You can have my memory if i can leave this place. (These two lines are potent in their simplicity. A trade (almost a plea) is offered - a piece of my psyche for freedom) Visions piercing the eclipse (This verse is fresh and thought provoking - Visions within the context of this poem can be part of the the illness and yet they penetrate the eclipse (something covering or shadowing something else. You can derive many interesting meanings from this verse.) shattered my picture perfect reminiscence. As evidenced by these and other verses there is substantial potential in the work. The energy and honesty is there already. One quick and easy suggestion is having all the I's lack capitalization. The non capped i's enhance the powerlessness of the author during this situation. Just a thought. Thank you once again for sharing. Jesus2005-06-24 09:23:03
YokedDellena RovitoHello Dellana, The first thing that hit me about this poem is how you successfully transferred the weight of your feelings not just to paper but also to me the reader. The title itself stimulated 2 immediate thoughts - I grew up in the Bronx and to yoke someone was to put them in a choke hold and the second thought was the biblical verse "Thou shall not yoke yourself to unbelievers." Both have powerful meanings. Suffice to say I gravitated immediately to this work. The hefty yoke of greatest sorrow (hefty and greatest begin the "weighing" down process presses the day cheerless with the weight of (I love this line - I can visualize a giant press squeezing the cheerfulness out of something) a thousand tons of heavy metal lead. The next stanza clarifies that the weight is not physical but emotional which can bring down the entire person physically, spiritually, and psychologically. The harness is laden upon my shoulders with my drooping neck hung low from the (drooping is further emphasized by hung low - the visual is painful and also strangely comedic) extreme excess burden of deep emotion. Bound securely with a brutal force (Bound is a powerful word - there is a loss of control and free will) like a draft horse living in subjugation. (The beast of burden metaphor strenghtens the loss of hope) Gripped in servitude to misery's implement Strangle held, I'm gasping for life sustaining air. (Suffocation is a horrible way to suffer and here there is another meaning - servitude, pain, and hopelessness will eventually suffocate the soul.) Every turn proves to tighten the harness's hold. (No let up. No escape) Desperation slices time's redemption with its knife. And so it goes… (interesting ending that serves as a vent or escape hatch from the heaviness above). I felt this poem worked well in conveying the feelings of the poet. One item to consider. It might be interesting to combine all the stanzas except for the last. This might add even greater "weight and energy" and also will not allow the reader to "come up for air" every 3 verses. Overall, a fine job. Thank you for sharing. Regards, Jesus2005-06-17 10:39:32
The ThiefTimothy HolyoakeDear Poet, Wow. Where to begin? The emotional impact of this work is startling and poignant. The opening stanza paints an idyllic picture of nature and innocence that lulls you into a sense of comfort. Flowers, daffodils and hills provide a soft texture and familiar fragrance. Children are carefree and protected. One word in the stanza is purposely incongruous – SCAR. It is a harsh sounding word that “sits uncomfortably in the stanza” and that acts as portent of things to come. The second stanza takes the reader from the light and the warmth of the first stanza to a darker nefarious place. It is a subtle change at first because the writer is called by name (indicating familiarity) “to a door I knew so well.” Again, there is nothing to suggest the evil that awaits. This is potent because it reflects the trust and openness that a child has. There is even a promise of ice cream which serves as a powerful lure to the victim. The lines “Severing . . . of sunlight,” and the closing of “the door behind me” serve as the demarcation point in the poem - From light to dark, from good to evil, from safety to danger. The touching of the child’s knee sent a chill through me. The touch not only constitutes a violation but a theft – the theft of innocence. The final verse in Stanza 2 is jarring. The thief is revealed as a “holy” man who uses the sanctuary of the church as his den of evil. Stanza 3 verse 1 has “large fingers” touching “little buttons” reemphasizing that this is an adult violating a helpless child. The rest of the stanza speaks for itself and quite frankly I do not want to diminish its impact by breaking it down and analyzing. It is disturbing and powerful spoken in simple honest voice. Stanza 4 continues the disturbing description and then adds another element of humiliation with the Thief chastising the child for crying. The “escape” of the next stanza is an escape from the physical reality. The mental pain and torment will remain forever. The warm and reassuring embrace of mother provides immediate although temporary solace. Even that moment is shattered by the mention of “Ice Cream.” The thief has also stolen this one time comfort and source of joy. This is a powerful poem that takes the reader on a disturbing visit to man’s dark side. You are swept away by the many feelings and emotions that the work evokes. I felt happy, peaceful, disgusted, vengeful, broken and hopeful. I hope that justice is done on earth and the afterlife and this sick disgusting excuse for a human suffers for the evil that he has committed. Thank you for sharing this work. Regards, Jesus 2005-06-09 10:47:07
Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by Jesus Manuel LopezCritique Date

Displaying Critiques 1 to 4 out of 4 Total Critiques.

If you would like to view all of Jesus Manuel Lopez's Poetry just Click Here.

Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!