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This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-06-29 16:42:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Unknowing

I'm not sharing... My mouth is full of words unspoken I am full up, of emotions untold. Behind my eyes lay layers of hidden thoughts. You think you know me, but you can't. If I don’t know myself, than how could you? Do I know you? I am positive not. Glimpses into the midst of all that obscurity will only tell what is allowed to show. If we won't say, opportunity goes. I surely must know someone …anyone……

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2005-07-07 15:42:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.34667
UNKNOWING A curious and excellent title - it drew me right in I'm not sharing... This line makes me wonder if the writer wants to undo the sharing she has already done...as if to unknow what she already knows... My mouth is full of words unspoken I am full up, of emotions untold. Behind my eyes lay layers of hidden thoughts. in therapy i often find myself full of words unspoken...i love these three lines...they speak so loudly of the resistance with in myself when recognizing the pain in my life, the tragedies things i want never to speak of again...yet need to be spoken to give honor to the experiences i've had and the parts of me that got me through...to speak my truth, though sometimes i wish i didn't know my truth... You think you know me, but you can't. If I don’t know myself, than how could you? Do I know you? I am positive not. Ah, how well can anyone truly know us, and certainly so if we don't know ourselves, or we keep ourselves from knowing. How can one know you if you do not share with them, if you are hiding from the truth of your life? Glimpses into the midst of all that obscurity will only tell what is allowed to show. If we won't say, opportunity goes. I surely must know someone …anyone…… Dellena, You have written another remarkable piece. Thank you for sharing this with us at TPL. I may be way off the mark with my comments above, but this piece really struck me at a deep level. As a survivor of cult/ritual abuse, there are many things i have remembered over the years that i wished i could unremember, unknow. You musings on how someone can know you, and the description of one holding things back and not sharing with others are very well put. There is so much i want to tell you that this poem makes me think about. The countless times i have sat frozen, my mouth like it was wired shut with invisible wires, or a steel plate slapped over it. Trying to not know the truth that was staring me in the face. IF i didn't share anymore then maybe, just maybe, i wouldn't have to know it anymore. Oh wow...you've done an incredible job on this piece. Thanks again, Mandie

This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2005-07-05 12:54:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dellena, a dear friend of mine says that we are as different as the grains of sand on the beach, or the drops of rain from the heavens. The piece reverberates with with a plea to share those emotions we all have and all believe are unique. Perhaps, but we all hope for the best, wish we could share more, and wonder if anyone else is lonely or sad or in need of a trusted ear. The work is soulfull and filled with the desire to share and connect with others. Poetry is such a grand outlet for hopes and wishes and uncertainties. In the final outcome, we all wonder, ponder and wish we could make closer connections with all around us. In my humble opinion, we are all closer to one another than we suspect, and indeed connected at the core of our souls with Creation. Your final final verbiage might well be "everyone", but know that at least one reader feels connected. Nice personal work, Peace, Paul

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-07-01 22:46:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.97727
Hi Dellena, Your title 'unknowing', draws the reader into a world full of questions, a quest for identity, an expanse of obscurity. Man has a lo to discover. He hasn't been to the ends of the universe yet, he's still debating life on mars, he goes sleepless over finding a cure for AIDS and he hasn't found solutions to this world's political disputes. However, your poem throws light on the greatest failure in man's wanderlust for discovery. He has failed hopelessly in discovering himself. of course this is in general for there are a minority of individuals who can safely affirm to knowing themselves thoroughly. The quest to doscover oneself often spans an entire lifetime and there are many of us who cross over into the after-life without ever getting the opportunities to do so. Man is often called a social animal but infact is very secretive and private, often concealing his deepest emotions and guarding his darkest secrets like a warrior. The inner-self is territory that is marked with borders and the sense of insecurity that arises when a trespasser is near vibrates like a tuning fork. 'I'm not sharing... My mouth is full of words unspoken I am full up, of emotions untold. Behind my eyes lay layers of hidden thoughts.' The very opening lines of this poem do a great job in suggesting man's reluctance to open up, his sense of insecurity and the resultant outcome of remianing unknown. The second verse is says a lot about how guraded we all are and how lost, in terms of knowing ourselves. 'If I don’t know myself, than how could you?', this is a very pertinent question and is tragic in so many ways. How many of us actually know each other if most of us don't know ourselves. Getting to know one another is tough as it is (as making new friends always is) but is nothing compared to the arduous task of digging deeper within to find answers. If you look at it, we are all merely faces. The world within is an ocean that it yet to be discovered. 'Do I know you? I am positive not.' 'Glimpses into the midst of all that obscurity will only tell what is allowed to show. If we won't say, opportunity goes.' Yes, we see what is meant to be seen. What the other wants us to see. And this is from both ends, because unless we open up there is no way the other person will ever get a relaistic idea of who we are. 'If we won't say, opportunity goes.' Yeah, I guess many of us have lost a lot of our friends because of our inability to open up. 'I surely must know someone …anyone……' I loved the way this piece trailed off like an echo in an abandned cave. These last lines enhance the element of 'unknowing' in the piece. Dellena, thanks for this 'take' on one aspect of human nature. Thankfuly, poets come closer to revealing themselves compared to others. And the friends I have made here are very valued. Looking forward to reading more of ur work :-) Take care, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rebecca B. Whited On Date: 2005-07-01 18:52:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76000
Dellena, "I'm not sharing... My mouth is full of words unspoken I am full up, of emotions untold. Behind my eyes lay layers of hidden thoughts." [Wow, this is a nice intro to someone who feels that they cannot share with anyone their deepest thoughts and emotions....filled to the lip they are with these emotions, yet, cannot force their lips to mouth their innermost thoughts. The repitition of 'full' emphasizes the depth of these emotions, as well as 'layers of hidden thoughts'. I like the way you state that they are hidden thebehind 'eyes,'...it is as if they are there, but no one sees them.] "You think you know me, but you can't." [and the reason they don't see them is because you won't let them...as indicated by your use of the word, 'can't', not won't but can't...what keeps one from allowing others to see deep within the hidden recesses of our souls? I fell that we all have done it at one time or another in our lives] "If I don?t know myself, than how could you? Do I know you? I am positive not." [these two lines really create the image of someone who is hidding from themself as we as from others. And, the use of 'I am positive not', enforces the fact that you don't know them nor do you care to know them...also, it allows the reader to feel as if the other person hasn't put forth much effort to be know, as well] "Glimpses into the midst of all that obscurity will only tell what is allowed to show." [and if by chance someone does see beyond this veil of obscurity, you will only allow them to see what you want them to see...we all do this, do we not? You know, only the good shall be allowed to come to the surface...we bury the bad deep within ourselves.] "If we won't say, opportunity goes." [ah, here is a line of redemption, of sorts...you admit, that by not allowing ourselves to get to know each other on a deeper level, we both [all] miss the opportunities that a relationship would offer...maybe you don't want to hid yourself, you just haven't found the right person to share yourself [your real self] with?] "I surely must know someone ?anyone??" [and here is the reaching out, the crying out for someone to know, anyone that will accept you, hidden thoughts, ideas, desires and all!] I have critiqued this as if it is 'you' who possesses these thoughts and cries out for someone, anyone to know and accept you...only because that was my train of thought as I read it. It really applies to us all, as it is only human nature to feel insecure in relationships until they are developed over time. And, what opportunites we miss while hiding behind ourselves. This piece makes one draw deep introspection as to what relationships mean to us, and to others, and why we so often hide behind the cloak we call 'ourself.' Great read, nicely done! Later, Beck

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-06-30 19:32:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.38235
Ya. You know me...honest Arnie. I could delve into the brick wall you've built and the emotions you hold...There has to be a key to the lock. Right? What will you show if the door is open? What will you loose? The thing is, that you DO know yourself. How does that sound? Okay, I'm outta here. You made it quite clear...

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-06-30 15:24:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Dellena: This is a fascinating poem. It is like a mirror one can hold up to the self/Self. The little self and the bigger self. And who among us really knows the other. The poem reveals some compelling questions. How can others know us if we do not know ourselves? How can we know ourselves without feedback from others based on their knowledge of us? How, in our solitary cubicles of cyberspace, do we know anyone at all whom we have not seen, nor spent face-time with? These are all questions that came to my mind as I read your deeply thoughtful work. There is a strong tone to the piece of melancholy. How well we can, if we choose to do so, hide within our words, as a friend pointed out to me. Your title, “Unknowing” made me think of cosmic things. The great unknowable All. It is interesting that you choose that title, instead of, for example, “Unknowable” or “Unknown.” “Unknowing” implies a continuing process. On both sides of the screen. I really enjoy the exchange here, as you pull the reader into to this poem to dialogue. I'm not sharing... My mouth is full of words unspoken I am full up, of emotions untold. Behind my eyes lay layers of hidden thoughts. Thoughts that occur to me, reading this stanza above: we each need to connect with others to fulfill part of our nature as social beings. We do not know the hidden thoughts of others. Truly, you show us, the ‘eyes are the windows of the soul’ for looking into the eyes of the speaker brings the mystery closer. The irony (well-taken) of the very first line is that you say you are “not sharing” but at the same time, you are. I really like this seeming conundrum. Though you are ‘sharing’ you are holding back much. That restraint makes the poem all the more intriguing to this reader. You think you know me, but you can't. If I don’t know myself, (then) how could you? Do I know you? I am positive not. Wow, that kind of sets me back a pace or two. How much can we be known in this environment and how much do we really want to be known, as our 3-D selves? Yet, we can and do feel emotions for one another – for example, one of our members is ill, and we feel it, worry, offer consolation and prayers. These things are real, but what do we actually perceive about the other’s suffering. There is an onscreen persona that it is difficult to see past, IMO. How much we are hiding or revealing probably connects to our feelings of safety and trust. Many have been hurt, no doubt, by past extensions of trust on the Net. How can we measure sincerity and good intent? How do we offer part of ourselves for knowing with a feeling of safety? Glimpses into the midst of all that obscurity will only tell what is allowed to show. If we won't say, opportunity goes. Reading between the lines, it feels to me as if the speaker has hoped for someone to be more forthcoming and has been disappointed in the result. Maybe many some ones. This poem is a chance to stop and think about responsibility in communication and how much or little we want to share about our private lives. And how those decisions may effect others. "I surely must know someone …anyone…" The speaker looks around for an other who is known and willing to know her. That hollow feeling at the core strikes me here. To feel alone in a 'crowd' while being surrounded with others. Very evocatively stated! A very thoughtful and well-written poem, Dellena. It is taking off the mask of pretense, and asking the reader to do the same. I will be thinking about the questions you raise for some time to come! Bravo!! My best always, Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-06-30 10:02:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
Interesting read poet....interesting thought of who we might be and who we reflect to be......indeed the eyes are the mirror to one's soul and we project what we want others to see........no one really knows who I am not even I........good structure, word flow brings forth the thoughts, questions, images you have set forth and created with the flare of your pen.......I thought I had friends but I really had none....sad, but true.....when they needed or wanted something they seeked me out offering their friendship but when I thus needed a hand it was turned the other way, again one never knows......I enjoyed the easy flow to this one too. Thank you for posting and sharing with me and others here on the link. Hope you are not as hot as we are......stay cool, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-06-29 19:18:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37681
Whoa Dellena, Very deep, and in the words of an old hippie, "very heavy". Where to start, nice form, good flow and definitely thought provoking. You are so right on target, the masks, facades we all put on....I almost felt as if you were speaking of me personally. Now I know there are those who will want to psychoanalyze your writing and probably my response…..but what the heck. For me I'm not sharing... means exactly that to me, not sharing My mouth is full of words unspoken I am full up, of emotions untold. Behind my eyes lay layers of hidden thoughts So often things are left unsaid, mostly by choice, thus not revealing what we truly feel, skeptical, unsure of the response that will be given if the words are said or emotions allowed to show, a way of guarding oneself and then of course some of us are very private and just flat out prefer to keep some emotions to ourselves You think you know me, but you can't. If I don’t know myself, than how could you? Do I know you? I am positive not And this, reminded me so much of myself, not letting anyone really in to know me. However, if one is moody and changes inner feelings a lot it is difficult to pinpoint oneself, I don’t really believe anyone can truly no another for we are such complex being ever changing and evolving that nothing is written in stone especially those who endeavor to seek beyond themselves. Glimpses into the midst of all that obscurity will only tell what is allowed to show. If we won't say, opportunity goes. I believe we all do this, it is a form of self protection but also for the very private somewhat reclusive individual it is a necessary means to survival. We only let those in that we choose to let in. I surely must know someone …anyone…… This almost makes me think of a betrayal, and from that betrayal made one question ones own-self…..a contradiction … wanting to believe and yet afraid to believe and yet again disbelief… All in all, regardless I like this, found it an easy read and it served as a good reminder to me of how my own thoughts at times are self questioning and somewhat scattered. Thank you for the trusted honor of sharing this poem and thoughts there in. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2005-06-29 19:00:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
My peer and pal, Greetings and I hope thid finds you well. I've just got to say a word or two about "Unknowing" because I've not read anything close to your concept. I've always placed intelligence very high on my list of traits and curious where it's going to land. I hope very high. "I'm not sharing..." is your opener and that makes me want to dig further for more answers. Your 1st full line relates to the reader as you "appologize" for being unable to spill your guts the way others do. I do not care for the use of "FULL" in the 1st two lines..."filled" with words unspoken; "filled" with emotions untold. My dear, those are merely simple suggestions. The next two atanzas are lovely and smooth as silk. I think you are being solicitous and push away attempts to know you and feel ambivalent afterwards. It may be related to you're going to avoid anyone lest they hurt you. This really sounds cynical, you are losing opportunities but I feel this is merely veneer to poet as she seems very tender and caring... she may have chosen the "wrong" guy. There are so many of same. Your final line is a gut-punch with your linguistry at your command. Very strong and powerful are words I would use in describing your poem. Brava! Mellita

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