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This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2005-06-30 18:28:21 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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I'll Call Him Bob

He was wheeled in on a gurney to wait his turn. I gave him orange juice and steadied his hand. I asked him where it was and he said. "In my brain stem, it looks like a noodle and they tell me I am dying." With tears stinging my eyes I held his hand, smoothed his brow, and let him talk. He is 59 years old, has a masters degree in theology, is a Pastor of a church, does counseling, and volunteers at a homeless shelter. He had trouble focusing his wandering eyes, his left hand and arm were useless. I asked him if he had undergone surgery and he said. "It is inoperable but I am going to beat it...you see, my dream is to travel to France and I must do that before I die." The radiation oncology tech came for him and as he was wheeled into the treatment room he asked. "When will I see you again?" "Next Wednesday"...I said..."I promise I will see you then." I didn't even get his name. I'll call him Bob.

Additional Notes:
I volunteer at the hospital's radiation oncology unit on Wednesday. This is just one of the many conversations I have had with the cancer patients.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2005-07-07 15:25:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.34667
marilyn, Yes, let's call him "Bob". I love how you have titled this piece. I do not work in a hospital, but have a good friend who does for 12 hour shifts. I have heard many a story of her patients, all touching my heart in one way or another. You have captured the brief moment of interaction that can occur to anyone who is open to the opportunity and who opens their heart to others. This prose narrative tells a story of just one of those countless souls who you come into contact throughout each Wednesday. It could be the story of a thousand patients, but this one has been remembered and you have created a beautiful tribute to him. I like the free verse style as it lends to the narrative style of the poem and creates a story picture. You employ everyday thoughts we use to describe people in our lives, but they bring a uniqueness to this patient. IT matters not whether you know his name, in that brief moment, you met his soul and i am certain as you recall that moment as fondly as you do, i am sure he does too. Thanks for sharing this with TPL. Mandie

This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2005-07-05 10:42:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn, a fine tribute to the unconquerable human spirit. The many souls you touch in this outreach you do is of great consequence to those you touch, and kept track of by the recording angels. A very touching piece of work mandating a standing "Bravo" from this reader. I'll call it heartwarming.. Peace Paul

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2005-07-04 21:43:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.52174
Dear Marilyn, This poem touched a deep spot in my heart, you see, I have a sister battling cancer right now, and the cancer is winning. She is a nurse, and is full aware of all of the medical aspects concerning her treatment and prognosis. Perhaps that could be an advantage in her case, although all the knowledge in the world can't make the 7 brain tumors go away. Radiation has helped, thank God but it's a daily struggle for her now. This is a beautiful poem, full of compassion, understanding, and that you give of yourself in this way, is truly inspiring. I've worked in places where I was exposed to the sadness you describe in this poem, and it does have an affect on one. Very good post, at some point in time, I hope we find a way to cure this monster. Sincerely, DeniMari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2005-07-01 14:59:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88372
Marilyn: Amazing poem, written with heart, a trademark of your work. Giving your subject a name tells so much about you. He is not a face, a patient, a disease, but a person, dignified with a name of sorts. He may or may not remember your specific face or voice as he travels down his road to the end of his illness. But within his soul, he will remember your tenderness. The kindness of strangers is one of the glues which holds us together as a human race. Without that quality, we should all perish. When I think of those strangers who gave in the lives of my loved ones who are now gone on, I thank them inwardly for the grace they gave. We can do no less for others. At every turn, displaying love, perhaps impersonally, but no less real, no less felt, no less generously given. He was wheeled in on a gurney to wait his turn. I gave him orange juice and steadied his hand. I asked him where it was and he said. "In my brain stem, it looks like a noodle and they tell me I am dying." The conversation is direct and to the point. This makes it all the more poignant, because many steps have led each of you to this point. No wasted words on ‘safe’ pleasantries, but immediate contact on a real basis. Life and death. Orange juice and a hand to steady it. With tears stinging my eyes I held his hand, smoothed his brow, and let him talk. He is 59 years old, has a masters degree in theology, is a Pastor of a church, does counseling, and volunteers at a homeless shelter. He whose life seems to be about giving to others, now having to receive. His need to tell his story paramount to you. You, listening. Listening to one another’s stories anywhere, IMO is a healing enterprise. On this website, in the oncology center, in the grocery store. We are present to the extent that we are willing to listen. This opens two doors. A string extends from one heart to the other. Like the old ‘tin-can’ telephones of long ago. He had trouble focusing his wandering eyes, his left hand and arm were useless. I asked him if he had undergone surgery and he said. "It is inoperable but I am going to beat it...you see, my dream is to travel to France and I must do that before I die." He holds up his dream to view, for you and for himself. Your signature, “If you can dream it, you can do it” seems most apropos here. You allow for the dreams of others as well as your own, to become symbolic holders for the two ingredient without which we cannot survive: Love and hope. The radiation oncology tech came for him and as he was wheeled into the treatment room he asked. "When will I see you again?" The contact was made, a bond created. A friendly face and sincere mien, with tenderness extended. It must hurt to know that he will not survive long, but be very gratifying to realize that he takes comfort in your kindness, without which he would have less. A better medicine than the radiation, IMO. "Next Wednesday"...I said..."I promise I will see you then." I didn't even get his name. I'll call him Bob. I hear so much sadness in the promise. For you will be there, but will he? Your willingness to share this exchange with Bob is deeply touching, and serves as a reminder that our intentions are only as good as our actions. Put your heart where your money is! <smile> A better gift. Wonderful poem, wonderful gift of this reminder to be aware of those around us who could use our aid if only we offer it, freely and without strings. My best always, (with admiration) Joanne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2005-07-01 08:44:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Dear Marilyn, I can certainly relate to this poem being an Emergency Department RN. As people come in, some slightly hurt or ill, others appear upon the last stages of their life. You have written this in such a touching way and you have brought out not only this wonderful human being, but humanity. Why do things such as this happen to such good people? We will not understand while on this earth but there are reasons beyond our comprehension. This man, as you write it, shows the strength that a human can have as they choose to overcome the obticles of life, and regarless of the outcome, you have touched him in a way no other could. Each of us are put here for a purpose and this man needed you and you were there. No matter what strengths we have or show, having another to be at our side in a time of distress can bring comfort which one would never have gotten unless you were there. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem. You technical ability is perfect, the story brings tears to my eyes, and you are one wonderful woman. With love, Debbie

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-07-01 07:06:01
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.97619
Hi Marilyn, This piece is a very touching one indeed. I will refrain from commenting too much on the poetics in this one and focus a lot more of this response in telling you how this has affected me. Suffice it to say, that in terms of writing good poetry you have done well to present this in well-thought out structure, meter, flow and have set a very strong platform for the various emotions that make this the touching piece that it is. Sorrow and Suffering: "In my brain stem, it looks like a noodle and they tell me I am dying" ---- Marilyn, this piece carries with it such a deep sense of sorrow as the reader progresses with his read. Life seems so unfair at times and almost always leaves us short of answered questions. Why do we suffer? Why are we even born if death must come this way? Cancer is such a painful disease in its capacity to wear down the body, the mind and to bring death tantalisingly closer...very often at snail speed. "He had trouble focusing his wandering eyes, his left hand and arm were useless." Bravery and Hope: However, as one ends his read, there is a new found feeling of hope that raises the spirits to a higher realm beyond despair and hopelessness. This man will always be an inspiration for us who lose hope over the smallest and pettiest of issues. "I am going to beat it...you see, my dream is to travel to France and I must do that before I die". I see a brave side to you as well, Marilyn. It takes a lot of courage to be able to surround yourself with such sadness. When comforting people it is always necessary to give courage and it does take inner-strength to fight off the 'stinging' tears. Love and Selfless service: If all of us contributed our share to society in the little way we can, it would all add up to a whole lot of love and happiness. Your selfless service in volunteering to provide comfort to those who suffer most is admirable and inspirational in every sense. What is also remarkable and touching is that the pastor, even in his illness, is a counsellor and volunteers in a homeless shelter --- So, this might have started out as a very sorrowful piece of profound suffering, but actually ends with some very positive energy - bravery, hope, love and selfless service which I am sure is what you intended to convey. Thanks for sharing. Take care, Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-06-30 22:36:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.39437
Marilyn, This is so unbelievably moving.......tucks right at the heart strings. Well structured, each thought flowing into the next neatly without hesitation. The wording, not verbose but to the point, excellent, what an impact this has made on me. You just put yourself in the "heroine" catagory with me. I thouroughly enjoy your writing but this one caught me off guard. It just took my breath away, I'm at a lose for words,,,very unusual for me. I applaud your creativity with your writing, I applaud your humanitarian charitable deeds, I do not believe I could handle people in such distress. May the God, universe, and all the powers that be bless and keep you and may we be fortunate to be able to read more of your inspiring work. Par excellance. Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-06-30 19:20:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.38235
Well that's a wonderful thing that you do in such a setting. Oncology is one tough department to handle, but I know the nurses and staff are most caring. My only rebuke is why? Why didn't you get his name? That is very important when caring for such patients. I'm sure it just slipped your mind...but next time!!! Hey nice touch here. Oh, and where it was? Thanks for letting us know that side of you.The caring side.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-06-30 19:13:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
Poet......if you smiled that beautiful smile of yours as you held his hand and spoke with him I hope you know how deeply you touched his soul. I remember when I laid dying how it felt to have the comfort of someone with me, even a stranger I just met.......instant friend if you ask me for they were placed there by God to bring you peace and comfort and that is what you are doing with this volunteer work of yours and believe me it takes a very special person to do that......... You have structured this well and your words have brought us to the waiting area with you.......I can see him laying there waiting for his turn to be taken in for his treatment, I can hear his response to your question, I can see you take his hand to steady it and I feel the tears mounting in your own eyes..... He is 59 years old, has a masters degree in theology, is a Pastor of a church, does counseling, and volunteers at a homeless shelter You have given us a good look at who this man is too, 59 years old......too young to die if you ask me...... has his masters degree, a Pastor of a church, counselling and volunteer at a homeless shelter.....he too has reached out to many in his lifetime and most likely feels there are more to help before his time is over......his faith shall sustain him, I have no doubt.... He has a dream....one that he want to make a reality before he dies and you know it is strong enough to keep him healthy enough to make that trip.......France is not that far away, I shall pray for his safe journey up to and including France and beyond.........are you not the one who says.......dream it and you can attain it? Woe how fortunate for him to have found you and then to plan on seeing you again for his next visit. "When will I see you again?" "Next Wednesday"...I said..."I promise I will see you then." These two sentences give him hope of another day to come........well done poet....well done. And I find the name Bob suits him fine. Thank you for posting and sharing this with us...........looking forward to an update on Bob in the near future..........God Bless, Claire

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