This Poem was Submitted By: Michael Bird On Date: 2005-07-20 18:11:08 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Earth Spirit Be silent
Listen without talking
You will hear the earth spirit
Look at the ground
Feel it`s strength
Look to the sky
Embrace the openess
Face the wind
Taste it`s many scents
Open your arms to the rain
Gather life for the soul
Turn east
And be warmed by the rising sun
Turn south
And find many wonderous things
Turn north
And feel the cool night air
Turn west
And be calmed by the setting sun
Go to the river
Travel endlessly with the water spirit
Go to the valley
Many sounds await you
Seek the highest mountain
You will be free to soar like the eagle
These things I tell you
Listen without talking
The earth spirit
Will guide your way
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Copyright © July 2005 Michael Bird
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2005-08-07 16:39:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82500
Wow...very spiritual in nature. A combination of Buddhism and Native American cultures. Those things
I too learned from them. I know what you are talking about. Meditate and be still, and you will
definitely hear the earth's spirit. I like it. Good to see your writing.
Look at the ground
Feel it`s strength........typo s/b its not it's.
Thanks for this.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2005-08-07 07:57:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.97222
Hi Michael,
In this world, where vision is short sighted, where feelings are limited, where hearts are full of hate, greed and what not, we often ignore the genius of creation and its power to heal and influence. Contrary to this, we mar it, break it down for personal gain and cause it untold suffering. In the end, we are all really hurting ourselves as it is imperative that we leave this earth the way we found it. Yet, the current ecological balance suggests otherwise.
Your poem 'earth spirit', opens a window to the infinite beauty of the world that has been bestowed on us and I see a spiritual angle here as well. After all, nature is God's personal work of art, resplendent and brilliant in every possible way. And it speaks to the depths of our souls, 'You will hear the earth spirit'.
You have encouraged your readers to embrace this gift, to listen without talking for the silence speaks (we humans tend to do all the talking), to turn in every direction possible with open arms and just breathe in the magnificence.
Turn east
And be warmed by the rising sun
Turn south
And find many wonderous things
Turn north
And feel the cool night air
Turn west
And be calmed by the setting sun
You have directed your readers to the depths of the rivers and to the peaks of the highest mountains...How I wish I could do this right away and soar..but lack easy access. Nevertheless, I will leave it to my imagination to transport me.
The flow and structure works well. I don't think it's necessary for an apostrophe in 'it's...just 'its' would suffice.
Keep writing!!
Take care,
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2005-08-03 14:05:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70588
Michael,
You wrote a prayer and it's very nice. All you say is true!
Nature brings us to our God. He is in all things.
Mother Earth will guide us. If we listen!
Good Job!
Little Eagle
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2005-07-27 11:22:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91304
Michael–-Overall, great title and theme for a potentially excellent free verse
poem. One liners at the beginning are excellent for grabing attention. Your
initial caution for readers of this literal/non-literal post is sound advice.
And, the presentation of the four geographical directions and their import is
well penned, but the piece could use some tightening. I personally never try
to rewrite or change anyones message, but this one could do without some of the
“the” articles (I counted at least 8 of the 16 present which, IMO, could be done
away with or substituted for and still be effective). I hesitated on reviewing
this, thinking my observations will be taken in a negative way as opposed to being
offered in a helpful manner. In your response please let me know if I overstepped
critiquing bounds. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jana Buck Hanks On Date: 2005-07-24 10:04:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Michael,
Your name is new to me but I have been away from TPL for some time. If you are new...welcome. I am taken by your intent in this poem. It is simple and straight to the heart of this Crone. It speaks of Earth Mother and the beauty of our world, the connection to all Spirits that ARE interconnected by nature. Your diction is simplicity yet imparts a meditative feel to this reader. I am with you as you direct a mantra of peace and knowledge of the heart. You are soooo correct in saying that the earth spirit will guide the way...if we but listen in the silence of our mind. You have captured fire, water, air and earth...you have talked of the spirits of each of these elements (water sprite) and the great eagle, the highest totem with the greatest expectations. Yes, these things you have written about are all communicated without talking. But I am so thrilled that you have put them into words. Thanks for sharing this piece.
Bright Blessings
Jana
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2005-07-23 08:53:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Hello Michael,
Good to see you again.
This is a lovely evocation of the spirits - gentle
in form but powerful in message.
Be silent
Listen without talking
good admonition with which to begin the poem - it
captures our attention admirably
You will hear the earth spirit
ah....
Look at the ground
Feel [its] strength
Look to the sky
Embrace the [openness]
Face the wind
Taste [its] many scents
Wonderful blending of senses!
Open your arms to the rain
Gather life for the soul
"gather" is an amazing verb here -
Turn east
And be warmed by the rising sun
reat visual - I can see htis as a painting
Turn south
And find many wonderous things
I wish you were more specific here -
Turn north
And feel the cool night air
great -
Turn west
And be calmed by the setting sun
nice!
Go to the river
Travel endlessly with the water spirit
ah what a hourney that would be
Go to the valley
Many sounds await you
always in the valley it seems so
Seek the highest mountain
You will be free to soar like the eagle
"like the eagle" is a little overdone perhaps a differnt
simile or a specific eagle?
These things I tell you
Listen without talking
I like hte chorus repeating here
The earth spirit
Will guide your way
Yes - if we allow for that to happen it will - excellent!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joyce P. Hale On Date: 2005-07-22 15:37:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.59459
What a beautiful write, Michael Bird!! The first lines tell us what we should do....
*Be silent
Listen without talking
You will hear the earth spirit*
Next you guide us where to look and what to do, and touched on many of the beauties and wonders of earth that many take for granted, and never even notice. Each of your requests brings to the reader a miracle of nature, an image, sound or feeling that is basic and free to all who look and listen.
No suggestions for improvement! A thoughtful, meditative write. Thank you.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2005-07-22 10:33:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Michael,
It has been forever since I encountered a poem of yours to critique.
I recall I didn't do a good job of reviewing your piece, in your
opinion. I am always receptive to different kinds of critiques.
The title caught my eyes..."Earth Spirit"...something I need to learn more about.
Your fiest three lines are set singly, likely for emphasis.
Poet now segues to couplets for the remainder of the work. I like this form although
I rarely use it; I think you must be a smooth writer to pull this off. Per your
directions, I listen...no talk...I will hear great spirit, feel (its) strengthen.
Poet instructs readers to look at the sky and to embrace the (openness);
face the wind and taste its (')scents.
You continue this pleasureable poem by taking us through our senses as we journey
with you... you lead us to seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, tasting. You indicate
that each element enumerated has a concomitant spirit.
I'd never thought of that before and while it makes sense, I'll have to look at it
again over the weekend. This poem came at the exact right time for me (and probably
many others at TPL). I am battling a disease at present so I have oodles of time to
read but it's very difficult to write or type.
I believe you presented your topic well, no cliche's, all crisp and unique descriptors,
the right touches at the right timr. This is the kind of poem I like as it makes me
think and measure whether I'm making progress or not.
This should make the voting list and I wish you the best in same.
Best wishes always,
Mell
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2005-07-21 22:13:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.52174
Michael,
Earth Spirit {Very fitting title}
Be silent
Listen without talking
You will hear the earth spirit {yum, everyone should do this}
Look at the ground
Feel it`s strength
Look to the sky
Embrace the openness { these four stanzas speak of all the
Face the wind {nurturing wonders the earth gives to
Taste it`s many scents {our spirits, bodies are very being}
Open your arms to the rain
Gather life for the soul
Turn east {these next four stanzas remind me
And be warmed by the rising sun {of the native American medicine
Turn south {wheel, the holder of all mysteries}
And find many wonderous things
Turn north
And feel the cool night air
Turn west
And be calmed by the setting sun
Go to the river
Travel endlessly with the water spirit {your next three truly speak
{of one who is enlightened,
Go to the valley {in tune with the cosmos}
Many sounds await you
Seek the highest mountain
You will be free to soar like the eagle
These things I tell you
Listen without talking {very refreshing to hear these type
{of words, a truth that is there for
The earth spirit {those who want truth }
Will guide your way
Michael, I truly and deeply enjoyed this, it was a sweet balm to my spirit. This is a truth that is there for everyone if they will just see it, feel it, take it in.. and it doesn’t impede on anyone’s belief structure. For me, it speaks of all that Great Spirit has created and blessed us with, wonders, magic and mysteries, so much part of what makes us—us. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It flows well from thought to thought and has good structure. It is definitely one I will keep and is a winner. Kudos.
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2005-07-20 19:43:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76923
What a wonderful journey you have prepared and taken us on with this read.....great structure, superb word flow with images created as one travels on...........Great title for this one too......Be silent and listen without talking and you will hear the earth spirit and you will also hear whatever spirit is there with you.......I just adore hearing that little inner voice that tells me the spirit of God is with me......guiding my every move along the way......allowing me to make my own mistakes and to learn from them, to bask in the glory of His creation the world around us, above us, beneath our feet and within our reach.......I wrote a poem once on I AM which was a gift from God and spoke about all you have mentioned in one way or another. Thank you for taking the time to share such a treasure and it certainly is going on my list of favorites for this month. God Bless, Claire
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